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emilyg's Blog

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Yesterday, 6:58 pmCoffee with Jesus...

A Republican in a wheelchair entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee.  The Republican looked across the restaurant and asked "Is that Jesus sitting over there?"

The waitress nodded "yes!"  So, the Republican requested that she give Jesus a cup of coffee, on him.

The next patron to come in was a Libertarian, with a hunched back. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the waitress for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus, over there?"     
The waitress nodded, so the Libertarian asked her to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, "My treat."

The third patron to come into the restaurant, was a Democrat on crutches.  He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, "Hey there honey!  How's about getting me a cold mug of Miller Light!"  He too looked across the restaurant and asked,  "Isn't that God's boy over there?"

The waitress nodded, so the Democrat directed her to give Jesus a cold beer.  "On my bill," he said loudly so everyone in the restaurant could hear.

As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Republican, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed."  The Republican felt the strength come back into his legs, got up and began to praise the Lord.

Jesus passed by the Libertarian, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed."  The Libertarian felt his back straightening up, he raised his hands and he, too, began to praise the Lord.

Then, Jesus walked, with a huge smile on his face, towards the Democrat.   The Democrat jumped up and yelled, "Don't touch me....... I'm on disability."

For Those Who Understand, no explanation is necessary.

For Those Who Do Not Understand, no explanation is possible.

Entry #1,756
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May 31, 2015, 11:58 pmBaltimore...

Homicide Count for May in Baltimore Rises to 43
5/31/2015, 8:08:13 PM � by Red in Blue PA � 48 replies
ABCNews ^
Three fatal shootings in Baltimore on Sunday bring May's homicide count to 43, making it the most violent month in more than 40 years. Police say two men were fatally shot in the head about 1 a.m. About 11 a.m., a man was fatally shot in the back.

Entry #1,755
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May 30, 2015, 8:41 pmMiss Kitty's prs. wk 5-31

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May 30, 2015, 1:43 pmObama...


Blame It on Global Cooling? Obama Has Lowest Average 1stQ GDP Growth of Any President on Record

Entry #1,753
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May 28, 2015, 7:35 pmHeadlines...

7-Year-Old Boy, Mother Fatally Shot In Head...
Police Say Mobs Gather Around Officers When Responding to Calls...
Sheriff: Cops 'have been eviscerated, disemboweled'...
Union: 'Criminals Empowered'...

Entry #1,752
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May 23, 2015, 9:48 pmMiss Kitty's prs. wk 5-24


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May 23, 2015, 9:38 pmAre You Stressed?

A Prayer for the Stressed
Grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage
to change the things I cannot accept,
And the wisdom
to hide the bodies of those I had to kill today because they got on my nerves.

And also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today,
as they may be connected to the feet I may have to kiss tomorrow.
Help me always to give 100% at work...
12% on Monday,
23% on Tuesday,
40% on Wednesday,
20% on Thursday
and 5% on Friday

And help me to remember...
When I'm having a bad day
and it seems that people are trying to wind me up,
it takes 42 muscles to frown,
28 to smile
and only 4 to extend my arm and smack someone in the mouth!

Entry #1,750
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May 17, 2015, 4:10 pmNaval Officer...

A young Naval Officer was in a terrible car accident, but due to the heroics of the hospital staff the only permanent injury was the loss of one ear. 

Since he wasn't physically impaired he remained in the military and eventually became an Admiral.  However, during his career he was always sensitive about his appearance.

One day the Admiral was interviewing two Navy Master Chiefs and a Marine Sergeant Major for his personal staff.

The first Master Chief was a Surface Navy type and it was a great interview. 

At the end of the interview the Admiral asked him, "Do you notice anything different about me?"

The Master Chief answered, "Why yes.  I couldn't help but notice you are missing your starboard ear, so I don't know whether this impacts your hearing on that side."

The Admiral got very angry at this lack of tact and threw him out of his office.

The next candidate, an Aviation Master Chief, when asked this same question, answered, "Well yes, you seem to be short one ear."

The Admiral threw him out also.

The third interview was with the Marine Sergeant Major.  He was articulate, extremely sharp, and seemed to know more than the two Master Chiefs put together. 

The Admiral wanted this guy, but went ahead with the same question.

"Do you notice anything different about me?"

To his surprise the Sergeant Major said, "Yes, sir. You wear contact lenses."

The Admiral was impressed and thought to himself, what an incredibly tactful Marine.

"And how do you know that?" the Admiral asked.

The Sergeant Major replied, "Well, sir, it's pretty hard to wear glasses with only one <snip>in' ear."

Entry #1,749
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May 16, 2015, 8:11 pmMiss Kitty's prs. wk 5-17

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May 16, 2015, 1:38 pmThe $50 Lesson...

While I was working in the flower beds in the front yard, my neighbors stopped to chat as they returned home from walking their dog. During our friendly conversation, I asked their little girl what she wanted to be when she grew up. She said she wanted to be President some day.

Both of her parents, Democratic Party members were standing there, so I asked her, "If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?"

She replied... "I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people."

Her parents beamed with pride! "Wow... what a worthy goal!" I said. "But you don't have to wait until you're President to do that!" I told her.

"What do you mean?" she replied.

So I told her, "You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and trim my hedge, and I'll pay you $50. Then you can go over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house."

She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, "Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?"

I said, "Welcome to the Republican Party."

Her parents aren't speaking to me anymore.

Entry #1,747
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May 15, 2015, 9:35 pm"under God"...

New Jersey Judge David F. Bauman recently dismissed a case orchestrated by a student, his parents, and the American Humanist Association and ruled that hearing the words "under God" during the Pledge of Allegiance does not violate the constitutional rights of atheist students. In his decision released Monday, Bauman brilliantly laid to rest the notion that the phrase can, or should, be erased from America's history.

"As a matter of historical tradition, the words 'under God' can no more be expunged from the national consciousness than the words 'In God We Trust' from every coin in the land, than the words 'so help me God' from every presidential oath since 1789, or than the prayer that has opened every congressional session of legislative business since 1787," the judge wrote in his decision.

Bauman added, "The Pledge of Allegiance, in this historical context, is not to be viewed, and has never been viewed, as a religious exercise."

The student's lawsuit, filed last year, argued against the phrase being recited during school hours because he felt it singled out atheists and non-believers, making them feel like "second-class citizens." His attorneys argued that hearing the pledge would cause atheist students to feel "just as America's Jews, Hindus, and Muslims would feel excluded, marginalized and stigmatized if they were told by their government on a daily basis that the United States is one nation 'under Jesus.'"

However, Judge Bauman didn't see it that way. He explained that the various references to God in the nation's history, documents, and practices indicates no endorsement of a specific faith, but simply a recognition to the importance religion has played in the founding of America.

The unnamed student tried for equal protection under the New Jersey state constitution, only to be reminded by Bauman that it also references "Almighty God:"

Under plaintiffs' reasoning, the very constitution under which plaintiffs seek redress for perceived atheistic marginalization could itself be deemed unconstitutional, an absurd proposition which plaintiffs do not and cannot advance here. Protecting students from viewpoints and ideas that may offend or upset them is not and has never been the role of public schools in America.

Judge Bauman advised the student to remain silent during the Pledge of Allegiance if he so chooses. There are no plans to appeal the decision.

Entry #1,746
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May 14, 2015, 10:53 pmBias Media..

Flashback: To Protect Clintons, ABC Censored and Buried 'Path to 9/11&#8242; Miniseries
5/14/2015, 7:27:19 PM � by afraidfortherepublic � 13 replies
Breitbart Big Government ^ | 5-14-15
The length to which ABC, its news division, and its parent company (Disney) have gone to protect and curry favor with the Clintons is almost impossible to grasp. To begin with, in 1996, ABC News hired George Stephanopoulos, a former Clinton campaign and White House official. Within a few years he would become the ABC new division's chief anchor and political reporter. Then, just today, we learn that ABC News and Stephanopoulos are involved in a massive conflict of interest � a $50,000 donation Stephanopoulos made to the Clinton Foundation. That's right, the symbol of ABC News has an ongoing...

Entry #1,745
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May 14, 2015, 6:55 pmFrom Allen West site--


Discussion on Allen West Republic 2 comments
ALERT: Saudi Nationals Attempt Entry To U.S. Military Base
jlh243_1 32 minutes ago

America is under intense attack from within and from the outside. And the sheeple just want their obamaphones, food stamps, welfare, abortion, queer marriage and queer "rights", the abolition of God from every public realm, American citizens disarmed, and full blown communism instituted. And they all want the "rich" to pay for it because they are to lazy and worthless to work for it. They think that cozying up to muslims is a way to safe way to destroy those "radical Christians" without getting their hands dirty, but those bad old "radical Christians" are the ones who actually care enough about them to try to save them, yet they don't care, all they want is to keep sucking the government teat for all they can get.

But when they get their way, theirs will be the first heads to roll under the muslims swords and knives! Stupid mislead idiots, that is what the democrat voting base is comprised of.

Last Edited: May 14, 2015, 6:56 pm

Entry #1,744
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May 14, 2015, 12:28 pmObama - Poverty

5/13/2015, 2:24:39 PM � by yoe � 4 replies
Powerline ^ | May 12, 2015 | John Hindraker
I wrote (Barack Obama, Media Critic) about President Obama's appearance at the Catholic-Evangelical Leadership Summit on poverty at Georgetown, where he singled out Fox News for criticism of its news coverage. He did eventually get around to ( talking about poverty:)"Those who are doing better and better, more skilled, more educated, � luckier � having greater advantages are withdrawing from the commons," he said. "Kids start going to private schools....But wait! President Obama went to a ritzy private school in Honolulu, and his daughters attend Washington's toniest private school, Sidwell Friends. Was Obama engaging in a rare moment of self-criticism?...

Entry #1,743
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May 9, 2015, 9:14 pmMiss Kitty's prs. wk 5-10

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