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Coin Toss's Blog

  • Coin Toss's Blog has 513 entries (0 private) and has been viewed 399,957 times.
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January 21, 2015, 7:28 pmCalifornia driving test answers

Driving Test

The following are a sampling of real answers received on exams given
by the California Department of Transportation's driving school (read
Saturday Traffic School for moving violation offenders.)

Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
A: What for? He can't see my license plate.

Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way
stop at the same time?
A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker
saying "Guns don't kill people. I do."

Q: What are the important safety tips to remember when backing
your car?
A: Always wear a condom.

Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
A: Your car.

Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk
driving?
A: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.

Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no
longer drive lawfully?
A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.

Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being passed?
A: Make eye contact and wave "hello" if he/she is cute.

Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light
and a flashing yellow traffic light?
A: The color.

Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?
A: Heavy psychedelics.

Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?
A: Carry loaded weapons.

Entry #513
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January 12, 2015, 12:39 amHarry & Bess

YOU WILL.PROBABLY. NEVER.SEE THIS AGAIN.

Thought you'd enjoy this!

It's one you want your Children and Grandchildren to read. They
won't believe this happened, but it DID. Harry & Bess

Harry Truman was a different kind of President. He probably made as many, or more important decisions regarding our nation's history as any of the other 32 Presidents preceding him. However, a measure of his greatness may rest on what he did after he left the White House. The only asset he had when he died was the house he lived in, which was in Independence , Missouri . His wife had inherited the house from her mother and father and other than their years in the White House, they lived their entire lives there.

When he retired from office in 1952 his income was a U.S. Army pension reported to have been $13,507.72 a year. Congress, noting that he was paying for his stamps and personally licking them, granted him an 'allowance' and later, a retroactive pension of $25,000 per year.

After President Eisenhower was inaugurated, Harry and Bess drove home to Missouri by themselves. There was no Secret Service following them.

When offered corporate positions at large salaries, he declined, stating, "You don't want me. You want the office of the President, and that doesn't belong to me. It belongs to the American people and it's not for sale."

Even later, on May 6, 1971, when Congress was preparing to award him the Medal of Honor on his 87th birthday, he refused to accept it, writing, "I don't consider that I have done anything which should be the reason for any award, Congressional or otherwise.

As president he paid for all of his own travel expenses and food.

Modern politicians have found a new level of success in cashing in on the Presidency, resulting in untold wealth. Today, too many in Congress also have found a way to become quite wealthy while enjoying the fruits of their offices. Political offices are now for sale (ie. Illinois ).

Good old Harry Truman was correct when he observed, "My choices in life were either to be a piano player in a whore house or a politician. And to tell the truth, there's hardly any difference!

We ought to have cloned him for telling it like it is and being frugal with our tax dollars!

Entry #512
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January 12, 2015, 12:34 amCapone and Sharpton

Al Capone owed $150,000 in back taxes and went to prison.

Al Sharpton owes $4.5 million and he goes to dinner at the White House.

Entry #511
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January 8, 2015, 1:16 amTeenager pleads guilty in beating death of WW II veteran

Haven't seen this on the news, big surprise.

__________________________________

SPOKANE, Wash. (AP) — A 17-year-old pleaded guilty Wednesday to murder in the beating death of 88-year-old Delbert Belton, a World War II veteran who survived the battle of Okinawa but was killed in a robbery outside a Washington state bar in 2013.

Kenan Adams-Kinard pleaded guilty to first-degree murder in exchange for two lesser charges being dropped. He faces a standard sentence to 20 to 27 years in prison when he is sentenced at a later date.

http://news.yahoo.com/teenager-pleads-guilty-beating-death-ww2-veteran-010131691.html

Last Edited: January 8, 2015, 1:19 am

Entry #510
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January 6, 2015, 1:02 amLaugh for the day!

Laugh for the day! 

The federal government, which has Tomahawk cruise missiles and Apache, Blackhawk,

Kiowa and Lakota helicopters, and used the code name "Geronimo" in the attack that killed

Osama bin Laden, officially objects to the name of the Washington Redskins and Kansas City Chiefs!

Entry #509
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January 3, 2015, 11:49 pmA foursome of golfers

A foursome of golfers

A foursome of golfers, all in their 40's, discussed where they should meet
for lunch.  Finally it was agreed that  they would meet at Hooters because
the waitresses were  young, good  looking, were well endowed and wore
short-shorts.

Ten years  later, at age 50, the golfing buddies once again discussed where
they should  meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at
Hooters because  the food and service was good, they had many televisions to
watch the games  on, and the beer selection was excellent.

Ten years later, at  age 60, the foursome again discussed where they should
meet for lunch. Finally  it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters
because there was plenty of  parking, they could dine in peace, and it was good
value for the  money.

Ten years later, at age 70, they discussed where they  should meet for
lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters  because the
restaurant was wheelchair accessible and had a toilet for the  disabled.

Ten years later, at age 80, the friends discussed  where they should meet
for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet  at Hooters because
they had never been there  before.

Entry #508
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December 31, 2014, 1:02 amSomething to think about

Consider the following...

Sydney, Australia, Monday morning, 15 Dec:  A guy walks into a cafe with a shotgun.  16 plus hour standoff, with hundreds of police, begins.  Area businesses shut down for a day, thousands of dollars in lost revenue.  Thousands of dollars spent on police effort.  News media around the world spending millions of dollars covering the siege.  Other nations monitoring the situation, ready to give aid to Australian government, if needed.  Police finally take action.  Bad guy dead, 2 citizens dead, 4 citizens wounded.

Compare that to...

Las Cruces, NM, Sunday evening, 14 Dec (virtually the same time):  A guy walks into a "Smoke Shop" with a shotgun.  Store clerk is armed with a 9mm.  In less then a minute, bad guy is dead.  Police called to process the scene and take a report.  Area businesses parking slightly inconvienenced because of cop cars.  Area TV news media has a 20 second blurb on the evening news and the area news paper has a small article the next day. Prosecutor reportedly declines to press charges.

Food for thought...

Entry #507
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December 27, 2014, 12:49 amClasses for Women

Men Teaching Classes for Women at
THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM .

Class 1
Up in Winter, Down in Summer - How to Adjust a Thermostat
Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs. beginning at 7:00 PM..

Class 2
Which Takes More Energy -

Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or Bitching About It for 3 Hours?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Drive Past a Wal-Mart Without Stopping?--Group Debate.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase--

Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
Curling Irons--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
At 7:00 PM

Class 6
How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Can a Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos?
Open Forum ..
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch--They Make Medicine for PMS - USE IT!
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
I Was Wrong and He Was Right!--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10
How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim.
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11

Learning to Live--How to Apply Brakes Without Throwing Passengers Through the Windshield.
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12
How to Shop by Yourself.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Send this to all your guy friends for the best chuckle of their day...
And to all your gal friends who have a sense of humor!

From Guys in the Witness Protection Program

Entry #506
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December 23, 2014, 9:54 pmHope every one had a Happy

Happy Festivus today!

Entry #505
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December 16, 2014, 11:19 pmWhite privilege?

There's some blog posts here about white privilege.

Interesting because a search of 'black organizations' in D.C. alone produces many hits.

If whites tried to form any organizations with white in the title where these black organizations have black in the title they'd be accused of hate speech.

United Black Fund.....

United White Fund....... can't have that, it would be 'racist'

etc...etc...ad nauseam.

So who is privileged?

Entry #504
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December 11, 2014, 11:45 pmA clock to cheer you up

Entry #503
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December 8, 2014, 11:24 pmCatholic Confessional Box

THIS IS FOR ALL THE GOOD CATHOLICS...

I went into the Confessional Box after years of being away from the Church.

Inside I found a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On one wall, there's a row of decanters with fine Jameson Irish whiskey and Waterford crystal glasses. On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates.

Then the priest comes in.

I say to him, "Father, forgive me, for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be.

He replies: " Get out... you're on my side!"

Entry #502
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December 8, 2014, 11:22 pmStill all for obama's imigration plan for illegals?

California....LARGEST INSANE ASYLUM IN THE WORLD

Interesting that the LA times did this.  Lou Dobbs reported this on CNN and it cost him his job.  The only network we would see this on would be FOX.  All the others are staying away from it.  Whether you are a Democrat or Republican this should be of great interest to you! Just One State - be sure and read the last part......try for 3 times. This is only one State.................If this doesn't open eyes, nothing will!

From the L.A. Times.

1.  40% of all workers in L.A. County ( L.A. County has 10.2 million people) are working for cash and not paying taxes.  This is because they are predominantly illegal immigrants working without a green card.

2.  95% of warrants for murder in Los Angeles are for illegal aliens.

3.  75% of people on the most wanted list in Los Angeles are illegal aliens.

4.  Over 2/3 of all births in Los Angeles County are to illegal alien Mexicans on Medi-Cal, whose births were paid for by taxpayers.

5.  Nearly 35% of all inmates in California detention centers are Mexican nationals here illegally.

6.  Over 300,000 illegal aliens in Los Angeles County are living in garages.

7.  The FBI reports half of all gang members in Los Angeles are most likely illegal aliens from south of the border.

8  Nearly 60% of all occupants of HUD properties are illegal.

9. 21 radio stations in L.A.  are Spanish speaking.

10.  In L.A. County 5.1 million people speak English, 3.9 million speak Spanish.  (There are 10.2 million people in L.A. County.)

(All 10 of the above facts were published in the Los Angeles Times)

Less than 2% of illegal aliens are picking our crops, but 29% are on welfare.  Over 70% of the United States 'annual population growth (and over 90% of California, Florida, and New York ) results from immigration.  29% of inmates in federal prisons are illegal aliens.

Entry #501
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December 5, 2014, 7:27 pmA fitting monument to this Presidency

North Dakota Names Landfill After Obama

The state of North Dakota has named a new publicly-owned landfill after President Barack Obama.

In an overwhelming 35-10 vote, the state Senate advanced a bill naming a 650-acre site currently under construction after the nations 44th president. Governor Jack Dalrymple is expected to sign the measure into law Tuesday.

When completed, the Barack Obama Memorial Landfill will be the largest waste disposal site in North Dakota, and the 17th largest in the United States. It will be especially rich in toxic waste from the local petroleum and medical industries.

We wanted to do something to honor the president, says Republican State Senator Doug Perlman, who was the lead sponsor of the bill. And I think a pile of garbage is a fitting tribute to Obamas presidency.

We originally planned on naming it after a nearby mountain. But then someone jokingly suggested we name it after Obama. I never thought and idea like that would actually pass. But I was pleasantly surprised.

The president is hardly popular in North Dakota. The most recent poll in December 2013 found that Obama has a 35% approval rating in the state, although that figure may have fallen further in the year since. Yet even considering the political climate, seasoned observers are surprised  that two Democratic lawmakers voted for the bills passage.

Entry #500
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December 5, 2014, 6:51 pmFive Horses

Five Horses Is Her Name

A man asked an American Indian what was his wife's name.

He replied, "She is called Five Horses".

The man said, "That's an unusual name for a wife. What does it mean?"

The Old Indian answered," It is an old Indian name. It means ...."

"NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG!"

Entry #499
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