ochoop17's Blog

What two of the same letters are missing from this word? _rom_

On a maternity room door: "Push. Push. Push."

At an optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait."

May 15, 1918: The first experimental airmail route inthe U. S. starts between Washington,_______ and _______.

I am the beginning of the end, and the end of time and space. I am essential to creation, and I surround every place. What am I?

Want to hear a dirty joke? A man fell in the mud.

Want to hear a clean joke? He took a bath with bubbles.

Want to hear another dirty joke? Bubbles was his neighbor.

May 12, 1933: The Federal ___________ and ______________ are established to help the needy and farmers.

I am a time for gathering crops. My last four letters is something that you wear. What am I?

They say milk gives you strength.
Drink 10 glasses of milk and try to move a wall.
You cant.
Drink 10 shots of Vodka and it moves by itself.

May 9, 1962: Scientists at the _______ Institute of _________ succeed in reflecting a laser beam off the surface of the ______.

In Dances with Wolves, what was the name of the wolf ?

What is it that no man ever saw, which never was, but always will be?

1. Only in America……can a pizza get to your house faster than an
ambulance.
2. Only in America……are there handicap parking places in front of
a skating rink.
3. Only in America……do drugstores make the sick walk all the
way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can
buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America……do people order double
cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet Coke.
5. Only in America……do banks
leave both doors to the vault open and then chain the pens to the
counters.
6. Only in America……do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in
the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America……do
we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won’t
miss a call from someone we didn’t want to talk to in the first place.
8.
Only in America……do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of
eight.
9. Only in America……do we use the word ’politics’ to describe the
process so well: Poli’ in Latin meaning ’many’ and ’tics’ meaning ’bloodsucking
creatures’.
10. Only in America……do they have drive-up ATM machines with
Braille lettering.

May 5,1821: France's _________dies in exile on the island of ______.

Pronounced as one letter,
And written with three,
Two letters there
are,
And two only in me.
I'm double, I'm single,
I'm black, blue, and
gray,
I'm read from both ends,
And the same either way.
What am I?

An 80 year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor            to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them.

            When they arrived at the doctors, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory. After checking the couple out, the doctor told them that they were physically okay but        might want to start writing things down and make notes to help them remember things.

            The couple thanked the doctor and left. Later that night while watching TV, the man got up from his chair and his wife asked, "Where are you going?" He replied, "To the kitchen." She asked, "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?" He replied, "Sure." She then asked him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" He said, "No, I can remember that."

            She then said, "Well I would also like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down because I know you'll forget that." He said, "I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries." She replied, "Well I also would like whipped cream on top. I know you will forget that so you better write it down."

            With irritation in his voice, he said, "I don't need to write that down! I can remember that." He then fumes into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes he returned from the kitchen and handed her a plate of bacon and eggs. She stared at the plate for a moment and said angrily: "I TOLD you to write it down! You            forgot my toast!"