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ochoop17's Blog

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Today, 10:01 amWhat's the...

Q: "What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?" A: "You can't tuna fish."

Entry #2,789
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Yesterday, 12:10 pmWhich Letter..

Which letter of the alphabet has the most water?

Entry #2,788
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January 27, 2015, 11:56 amSid & John

Sid and John, totally drunk at the bar, were driving home. Sid yelled, "John! Watch out for the tree. Watch out Johhnnnn!"

Crash!!Boom! Bang!!!

They hit the tree and passed out.

They found themselves in adjacent hospital beds the next morning. Sid said to John, "You are such an idiot. I shouted there was a tree ahead. Why didn't you listen to me???"

John replied, "It was YOU driving!!"

Entry #2,787
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January 26, 2015, 11:42 amWhat Is..

What is wider than life itself
Longer than forever
So simple it’s complicated
Travels but never leaves the spot
Puts others in danger but no one gets hurt
And reaches to worlds unknown?

Entry #2,786
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January 25, 2015, 12:16 pmA Lonely Frog

A lonely frog, desperate for some form of company telephoned the Psychic Hotline to find out what his future holds. His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."

The frog is thrilled and says, "This is great! Where will I meet her, at work, at a party?"

"No" says the psychic, "in a Biology class."

Entry #2,785
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January 24, 2015, 2:44 pmWho Is..

Your mother’s brother’s only brother-in-law is asleep on your couch. Who is asleep on your couch?

Entry #2,784
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January 23, 2015, 10:29 amPraying At The Wall

A female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, every day, for a long, long time.

So she went to check it out. She went to the Western Wall and there he was, walking slowly up to the holy site.

She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, using a cane and moving very slowly, she approached him for an interview.

“Pardon me, sir, I’m Rebecca Smith from CNN. What’s your name?

“Morris Feinberg,” he replied.

“Sir, how long have you been coming to the Western Wall and praying?”

“For about 60 years.”

“60 years! That’s amazing! What do you pray for?”

“I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims.”

“I pray for all the wars and all the hatred to stop.”

“I pray for all our children to grow up safely as responsible adults and to love their fellow man.”

“I pray that politicians tell us the truth and put the interests of the people ahead of their own interests.”

“How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?”

“Like I’m talking to a wall.”

Entry #2,783
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January 22, 2015, 12:41 pmWhat Does..

What does this mean? . . . . . . . .
Entry #2,782
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January 21, 2015, 10:24 amMy Uncle..

"My uncle ran for Senate last year."

"Really? What does he do now?"

"Nothing. He got elected."

Entry #2,781
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January 20, 2015, 10:10 amWhat Does..

What does this mean? . . . . . . . .

Entry #2,780
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January 20, 2015, 10:09 amWhat Does..

What does this mean? . . . . . . . .

Entry #2,779
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January 19, 2015, 12:15 pmTwo Turtles

Did you hear about the snail that got beat up by two turtles?
At the police station they asked him, “Did you get a good look at the turtles that did this? He said, “No, it all happened so fast.”

Entry #2,778
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January 18, 2015, 12:58 pmWhich Would..

Q: Which would be better, an old 10 dollar bill or a new one?
A: An old 10 because, 10 is worth more than 1!

Entry #2,777
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January 17, 2015, 10:32 amWhat Do...

What do you get if you mix a car, a fly, and a dog?

Entry #2,776
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January 15, 2015, 12:25 pmShe Pregnant

The brunette had been married about a year. One day the she came running up to her husband, jumping for joy. He didn't know how to react, so he started jumping up and down along with her.

"Why are we so happy?" he asked.

She said, "Honey, I have some really great news for you!"

"Great" he said, "tell me what you're so happy about."

She stopped, breathless from all the jumping up and down "I'm pregnant!" she gasped.

The husband was ecstatic as they had been trying for quite a while. He grabbed her, and kissed her

"Wow, that is wonderful," "I couldn't be happier!"

Then she said, "Oh, honey there's more."

"What do you mean more?", he asked.

"Well we are not having just one baby, we are going to have TWINS!"

He was amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant "How do you that," he asked.

"It was easy," she said."I went to the pharmacy and bought the 2 pack home pregnancy test kit."

"Both tests came out positive!"

Entry #2,775
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