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ochoop17's Blog

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Yesterday, 10:54 amA kind Lawyer ?

One afternoon, a lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the road side. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.

"Why are you eating grass?"

he asked one man.

"We don't have any money for food."

The poor man replied.

"Oh, come along with me then."

"But sir, I have a wife with two children!" "Bring them along! And you, come with us too!", he said to the other man.

"But sir, I have a wife with six children!" the second man answered.

"Bring them as well!" They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limo. Once underway, one of the poor fellows says "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."

The lawyer replied "No, you don't understand, the grass at my home is about three feet tall!"

Entry #2,857
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April 17, 2015, 11:25 amHow Does..

How does Moses make his coffee?

Entry #2,856
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April 16, 2015, 8:54 amAbout Apples

After a minor mathematical error on a routine report, a worker’s boss tried to belittle him in front of his peers.

Angrily she asked, “If you had 4 apples and I asked for one, how many would you have left?”

Quickly he replied, “If it was you who asked, I’d still have 4 apples.”

Entry #2,855
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April 14, 2015, 11:47 am24 Heads

20 kids went into a empty room and went to sleep woke up and there were 24 heads how is this possible?

Entry #2,854
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April 13, 2015, 10:08 amA Little Woman

A little woman called Mount Sinai Hospital. She said, "Mount Sinai Hospital? Hello. Darling, I'd like to talk with the person who gives the information about the patients. But I don't want to know if the patient is better or doing like expected, or worse, I want all the information from top to bottom, from A to Z."

The voice on the other end of the line said, "Would you hold the line, please, that's a very unusual request."

Then a very authoritative voice came on and said, "Are you the lady who is calling about one of the patients?"

She said, "Yes, darling! I'd like to know the information about Sarah Finkel, in Room 302."

He said, "Finkel. Finkel. Let me see. Feinberg, Farber--Finkel. Oh yes. Mrs. Finkel is doing very well. In fact, she's had two full meals, her blood pressure is fine, and if she continues this way, her doctor is going to send her home Tuesday at twelve o'clock."

The woman said, "Thank God! That's wonderful! She's going home at twelve o'clock! I'm so happy to hear that. That's wonderful news."

The guy on the other end said, "From your enthusiasm, I take it you must be one of the close family."

She said, "What close family? I'm Sarah Finkel! My doctor don't tell me nothing!"

Entry #2,853
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April 10, 2015, 10:11 amWhat Am I ?

I am strongest when you see me as round, but I am often viewed in other forms. I lift & drop the sea with my tremendous strength, and a man with a name like 'powerful bicep' was the first to tread on me. What am I?

Entry #2,852
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April 9, 2015, 10:14 amWhen Is..

When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.

Entry #2,851
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April 8, 2015, 11:49 amWhat Has..

What has hands but can not clap?

Entry #2,850
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April 7, 2015, 8:24 amCleaning The Attic

While cleaning the attic, Joan and Harry found an old stub for some shoes they left at the repair shop 10 years ago. They thought it would be funny to go to the shop and see if the shoes were still there. So they did. They handed the stub to the repair man who took it and looked in the back. He came out again and said, "They'll be ready on Wednesday."

Entry #2,849
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April 6, 2015, 10:40 amWhat Am I ?

I have four legs and a tail. I have no teeth. I can swim and dive underwater. I carry my house around with me. I am a...

Entry #2,848
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April 5, 2015, 11:39 amEaster Bunny

Q: What does the Easter Bunny get for making a basket? A: Two points, just like anyone else.
Entry #2,847
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April 4, 2015, 12:50 pmHow Do You..

Imagine you are in a dark room. How do you get out?

Entry #2,846
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April 2, 2015, 11:25 amFarmer Joe and His Mule

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court. In court, the trucking company’s fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe.
“Didn’t you say, at the scene of the accident, that you were fine?”
“Well, I’ll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the–”
“I didn’t ask for any details,” the lawyer interrupted. “Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, that you were fine?”
“Well I had just got Bessie into the trailer and was driving down the road–”
“Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.” By this time the Judge was fairly interested in Farmer Joe’s answer and told the lawyer so.
“Well,” said the farmer, “as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting real bad and didn’t want to move. However, I could hear ol’ Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the Patrolman came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me. He said, ‘Your mule was in such bad shape I had to shoot her. How are you feeling?”

Entry #2,845
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April 1, 2015, 9:37 amWhat Am I ?

I am a path situated between high natural masses. Remove my first letter & you have a path situated between man-made masses. What am I?

Entry #2,844
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March 31, 2015, 8:43 amBlind Man

This blind man goes into a drugstore and starts knocking stuff off the shelf with his cane.

The manager comes over and says, "Can I help you sir?"

"No, I'm just looking."

Entry #2,843
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