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CARBOB's Blog

  • CARBOB's Blog has 70 entries (0 private) and has been viewed 39,363 times.
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July 26, 2014, 5:45 amNewsweek's Last Cover

Entry #70
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July 24, 2014, 11:02 amTiger Woods And Stevie Wonder

Tiger Woods & Stevie Wonder are in a bar...
Tiger says Stevie, "How's the singing career going?"
Stevie replies, "Not too bad. How's the golf?"
Woods replies, "I've had some problems with my swing, but I think I've got
that right, now."
Stevie: "I always find that when my swing goes wrong, I need to stop playing
for a while and not think about it.  Then, the next time I play, it seems to
be all right."
Incredulous, Tiger says, "You play GOLF?"
Stevie: "Yes, I've been playing for years."
Tiger: "But -- you're blind! How can you play golf if you can't see?"
Stevie: "Well, I get my caddy to stand in the middle of the fairway and call
to me. I listen for the sound of his voice and play the ball towards him.
Then, when I get to where the ball lands, the caddy moves to the green or
farther down the fairway and again I play the ball towards his voice."
"But, how do you putt" asks Tiger.
"Well", says Stevie, "I get my caddy to lean down in front of the hole and
call to me with his head on the ground and I just play the ball towards his
voice."
Tiger: "What's your handicap?"
Stevie: "Well, actually -- I'm a scratch golfer."
Woods says to Stevie, "We've got to play a round sometime."
Stevie: "Well, people don't take me seriously, so I only play , for money,
and never play for less than $10,000 a hole.  Is that a problem?"
Woods thinks about it and says, "I can afford that; OK,  I'm game for that..
$10,000 a hole is fine with me.  When would you like to play?"
Stevie:     "Pick a night."

Entry #69
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June 14, 2014, 7:19 amFormer Co-Worker At SLAC- ATTn: Speedy

Speedy claims I don't know anything about Blacks, because I attended segregated schools. The gentleman I commuted with for four years, mentioned here http://www.lotterypost.com/blog/6174, is black. One of the most honest, kindest human beings, I have ever know. Before they could hire me at SLAC, they had to promote someone to same level as they were hiring me. It turned out to be him. The first time, I met him, I told him, " you are the biggest Black man, I have ever met", you should have been a pro football player. He replied, "I would have if my knee would not have blown out in college". I told him, "you know you owe me one, for getting you a promotion". He replied, "you owe me for getting you this job". From that day on, we were friends and still are. He was a very intelligent man. Whenever I bbq'd, he and his family were invited and when he held one, I was invited. On the many trips back and forth to work, I learned a lot about him and his family, when he was growing up. One of the things, he was strict on, in his house. No profanity!! If you did, he would say, no profanity, or leave. I seen this happen, and he was strict with his son. He only had one child.

When we left work, I noticed he would always remove the mechanical pencil from his pockets. One day, I asked, why? He tells me, he did not want to be accused of stealing. Besides he goes, my mama would not like that. Then, he started telling me this story. When he was 13 years old, was the time the Watts Riots in 1964, were taking place. He tells me, I took a TV home and mama got really angry. She made me carry the TV back to the store, where I got it.

He would always take off from the first week in Dec and come back, after New Years. He drove an older car and one year after, coming back to work. We were pre-aligning an experiment for some test and he tells me about one of his brothers. He told me his brother was a drug dealer and he had seen, six Hefty garbage bags and each had $100,000. His brother offered to buy him a new car and he turned him down. For what reason, I asked him? He tells me, Bob how would you feel, if the cops showed up here one day and confiscated your car, because it was bought with drug money? BTW, his brother was killed in prison. What I said about him being honest is still true today.

His son grew up and was the number 1, defensive back in CA. Had a full scholarship to Stanford. Had a very promising pro career ahead of him, blew out his knee, his sophomore season, end of football dream. He has something that thousands of people don't have, a Stanford University degree. He is now a high school math teacher. His father, my friend retired from Stanford in March, this year.

Last Edited: June 14, 2014, 7:21 am

Entry #68
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June 14, 2014, 5:58 amWorld Series 1989 Earthquake

Real name, Loma Prieta 1989. I worked at Stanford Linear Accelerator Center, better known as SLAC. There were three of us, re-aligning the damping ring components, when earthquake hit, around 5Pm. The damping ring is approximately forty feet underground. I was running the instrument taking readings, when we were hit. The components are mounted on concrete girders. They were moving 5-6 inches. That is huge, they are aligned within +- .004 of a inch. All 3 of us made for the stairwell, the ground was still shaking,I was the first one topside. We had several aftershocks and some others, from our group showed up, then the safety people. They told us, do not re-enter, until they inspected the entire linac, which is two miles long. We went to our office and the supervisor told us to leave and not to report next day, unless we were called. They were uncertain how long it would take for the safety inspection. All electricity was off and two of us commuted from Modesto, a 2 hour drive, east of SF. When we left, we were uncertain if the other two bridges were damaged and closed. We heard about Bay Bridge damage, we headed for San Mateo Bridge, our normal way home. The entire area was black, lights out. We get to I-580 and headed east,seeing the power was on about twenty miles to the east. We made it safely home. My boss calls next day and tells me, it will take about 2 more days for inspection, he would call. The inspection found no damage, but in the back of my mind, were questions. When you live in Ca, you eventually get use to the rattles.

Last Edited: June 14, 2014, 6:00 am

Entry #67
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June 6, 2014, 7:24 amHistory Lesson

This was from a USAF friend. Have no idea if it is true or not. It would not surprise me, if it is.





World War Eleven-not funny at all



YOUNG PEOPLE CANNOT LEARN FROM HISTORY ANYMORE BECAUSE HISTORY IS NO LONGER
TAUGHT AS A REQUIRED SUBJECT IN
PUBLIC HIGH SCHOOLS.

Theodore " Dutch " J. Van Kirk was the navigator on the " Enola Gay" when it
dropped the bomb at Hiroshima, Japan, and is the
last surviving member of the crew.

This really happened.

Dutch was asked to speak at a grammar school this past week.

The young teacher introduced him by saying the speaker was a veteran of
World War Eleven (as in WWII).

Dutch stood up and walked out of the school without saying a word.

  End of story

Entry #66
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May 25, 2014, 6:05 amWho Is Watching Our Backdoor??

If our representatives don't wake up and do their job, as they should, we are asking for big trouble. Ignoring the influx of Islam immigrants, as they did with the illegal Hispanics, will bite us in the ass.

Entry #65
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May 21, 2014, 1:23 pmDifference Between Honesty and Liars

Entry #64
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May 21, 2014, 12:00 pmImagine...If You Will

Entry #63
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May 16, 2014, 6:38 amThink he might be out of touch??


   [image: cid:X.MA1.1345867548@aol.com]

  When Obama stopped in at Master Lock in Milwaukee, Wisconsin last week,
he was walking the plant and stopped to talk with a plant employee and
looked up at the banner hanging on the wall and said to the worker and
people around him, "It is great to be in a union shop, especially one as
old as this union is " - - - - pointing to the banner. He then said, "A
Union shop since 1848" - - - and then he went on to talk on what that
banner stood for and how important it was to display it and show your union
support. The worker then said to Obama that it was the flag of the State of
Wisconsin - - which was founded in 1848, and that the shop was *Non-Union*.

  This was only reported by a local radio station in Milwaukee (1130AM) and
not by the major news networks.They didn't want to embarrass this "got no
clue" President! Since they didn't do their job of reporting on this
presidential visit, the only way for the news to get around is by us - on
the Internet. The White House media said he skipped Wisconsin & just went
to Minn & Chicago. Do your job; I just did mine, so voters will know what
really happened here and just HOW BRIGHT THIS PRESIDENT REALLY IS???

Entry #62
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May 16, 2014, 6:35 amHow I Learned To Mind My Own Business


I was walking past the mental hospital the other day and all the
patients were shouting, "13 - 13 - 13"
The fence was too high to see over but I saw a little gap in the planks,
so I looked through to see what was going on.
Some idiot poked me in the eye with a stick.

Then they all started shouting, "14 - 14 - 14"

Entry #61
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May 14, 2014, 7:31 amTrain In A Tunnel

Sitting together on a train were Pres. Obama, George W. Bush,
  a little old lady, and a good looking young blonde woman
  The train goes into a dark tunnel and a few seconds later
  There is the sound of a loud slap.
  When the train emerges from the tunnel,
  Obama has a bright red hand print on his cheek.

 No one speaks.

 The old lady thinks: Obama must have groped the
  Blonde in the dark, and she slapped him.

 The blonde woman thinks: Obama must have tried
  To grope me in the dark, but missed and fondled
  The old lady and she slapped him.

 Obama thinks: Bush must have groped the blonde in the dark.
  She tried to slap him but missed and got me instead.

 George Bush thinks: I can't wait for another tunnel,
  So I can slap the s$$$ out of Obama again!!

Last Edited: May 14, 2014, 7:32 am

Entry #60
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May 8, 2014, 11:06 amButt Lift

I would recommend not using Obama Care, if you are thinking about a butt lift. 

 

Entry #59
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April 21, 2014, 5:15 amDoes This Hit The Nail On The Head??

 

So true, so true, like a fish out of water. For the low-info crowd, That means, he just flip-flops around.

Last Edited: April 21, 2014, 5:16 am

Entry #58
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April 14, 2014, 3:27 pmDemocrats Are Race Baiting

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/04/13/can-we-divorce-our-elites.html

 

Gearing up for the mid-terms, the Democrats are using race baiting tatics. They know the low-info , multiple voters, and non-citizen voters will try and bail them out. They don't have a snow balls chance in he$$.

Entry #57
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April 6, 2014, 6:07 amBrothel

The madam opened the brothel door in Salt Lake City and saw a rather dignified,
well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties.
"May I help you sir?" she asked.
The man replied, "I want to see Valerie."
"Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would
prefer someone else," said the madam.
He replied, "No, I must see Valerie."
Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man she charged $5,000 a
visit.
Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand dollars and gave it
to Valerie, and they went upstairs.
After an hour, the man calmly left.
The next night, the man appeared again, once more demanding to see Valerie.
Valerie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row as
she was too expensive.
"There are no discounts.  The price is still $5,000."
Again, the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie, and they went
upstairs.
After an hour, he left.
The following night the man was there yet again.
Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night, but
he paid Valerie and they went upstairs.
After their session, Valerie said to the man, "No one has ever been with
me three nights in a row.Where are you from?"
The man replied, "Idaho."
"Really," she said.  "I have family in Idaho."
"I know." the man said.  "Your sister died, and I am her attorney.I was
tasked with giving you your $15,000 inheritance."

The moral of the story is that three (3) things in life are certain:

                  1. Death

                  2. Taxes
                   
                  3. Being screwwd by a lawyer

Entry #56
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