I Miss Grandma

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Wondered why I've been thinking of grandma lately. Then remembered she passed away around this time of year... in June.... many moons ago. 1995. I sleep with her worn out quilt on my bed most every night. Still have the stuffed bunny she bought me at the five-and-dime.

Can it really be that long ago? Time flies and all of that. Went to visit her grave a few months ago for the first time since the funeral. Grandpa's right next to her. I didn't feel their presence. I do at their house, though, which is still in the family and where I lived for 5 years before moving back to the house I grew up in.

One day in the kitchen there I REALLY felt a presence. Don't know who it was exactly but it was "something". Was washing dishes at the sink and took a step backwards. It felt like I had bumped into someone. When I turned to look behind me I saw the dishrag hanging on the oven handle sway back and forth like someone had brushed against it as they walked past. I was no where near that dishrag. I hadn't touched it once since starting the dishes. There were no windows open to create a breeze to move it. And there was no one else in the house at the time. Just me. And "it". (Grandma? Grandpa?)

My cousin claimed he smelled perfume in the dining room a couple of times. I never wear perfume. Smelled it once myself. I didn't recognize the scent but felt it must be grandma because she used to have quite a few bottles of perfume on her dresser.

Grandma was born in New Orleans. Found this out just recently when my mother came to visit last time.

"Gimme some suga" she'd always say when I was a kid and ran to kiss her. She never lost her accent and always called me "dahlin". Short little Swedish,Irish,German grandma with her curly perm and Cobbie Cuddlers. LoL. She always wore that style of shoe because she had a hammertoe. She had them in every color to match with her polyester pant suits.

Grandma and Grandpa lived out in the "country". Well,not really but she used to call her house "the ranch". It's about 7 miles from the city in the more "rural" part which can't be called that anymore since everything is built up around it now. But back in the 70's,riding in the Rambler station wagon to grandma's WAS like taking a ride to the country. It seemed so FAR,lol,even though it takes about 20 minutes if you catch all the lights. But what a difference a few miles makes. It was so open. There were fields. There were horses. And when you sat on the couch outside you would see nothing but wide open space and could watch the sun set.

Not anymore. Leave it to contractor's to destroy everything. Now there are homes built all in the back and fences surrounding the yard. I felt sad a lot when I lived there. Even with 1/2 acre it still felt so closed in. 

My sister and I always spent 2 weeks there in the summer. What fun we had drawing and swimming in our little plastic pool and playing "Operation",that old game. My grandma used to play Chinese Checkers with me. And grandpa always laid down on the floor and had me walk across his back. He had back troubles and I guess that helped. I don't remember too much about him. He died when I was 9.

My grandma was raised by her grandma. I don't know why her mother sent her away but when she was 5 she got ahold of some matches and set herself on fire. Her hair and eyelashes got burnt off. Her lashes never really grew back very long,they were always short from what I remember. And her forearms always had these shiny white scars.

When she was 19 she saw my grandpa at a dance and told the friend she was with that he was the one she was going to marry. And she did,lol. I always remember her saying that grandpa told her that the scars didn't bother him. That must have been what clenched the deal!

Grandpa was a cook in the navy. He was at Pearl Harbor the day it happened but managed to stay alive. I have 2 scrapbooks of his that he kept during the war. When I look through them it's like he was a whole different person that I never knew. There are also letters from my grandmother to grandpa while he was away (and he was away a lot!) It's obvious that she loved and missed him dearly. Both my mother and her sister were born while he was out at sea. They moved all around the country for most of their childhood.

It's not Thanksgiving without grandpa's stuffing. We've made it every holiday as long as I can remember. I still have the recipe written in grandma's handwriting in my drawer. It's so delicious. Too bad he didn't write a cookbook!

Grandma didn't drive so when I got my license I turned into her personal chauffeur. Doctor's appointments,grocery store,you name it. So glad I got to spend time with her. She always made me dinner. Chicken and baked macaroni and cheese. And always an Eskimo Pie for dessert.

Grandma always stayed at our house for Christmas and Easter. Thanksgiving was always at hers. Oh,how we couldn't wait to go pick her up on Christmas Eve. After "suga" kisses and hugs,we knew the coffee cans full of her fresh baked cookies would be waiting for us. Chocolate chip,oatmeal raisin,snickerdoodle,molasses and persimmon. They were the same every year and we never tired of them. Ever since she's been gone,Christmas is kind of over for me. Grandma WAS Christmas,I realize that now. Her presence at the dinner table. Her cute little jammies when we tucked her in on the couch. Her smiles as we opened her presents on Christmas morning. Those were the days,my friend!

Sigh. My insomnia is getting the better of me,lol. Too much time to think. Is that a good thing?

So many memories. And they live on...in me. Where else could I have gotten my scrappiness from but grandma? And my love of animals but from grandpa? It's funny the traits you inherit. Sometimes it's not exactly from your parents. Sometimes you have to look a little further back.

Grandma's and Grandpa's are very special people.

If yours are still alive,go hug them today.

Make a memory.

Entry #95

Comments

Avatar wpb -
#1
How sweet memories are. You had some special times with them. Thanks for sharing them.
Avatar MADDOG10 -
#2
It's always a pleasure to rekindle old memories, and it sounds as though you had a lot.
Have you ever considered writing a book? Your trials, tribulations, and memories seem to have a mesmerizing effect.    Thanks for sharing..
Avatar CARBOB -
#3
Those memories are what keeps us connected to the past. Your memories just brought back, some of mind. Thank you, for being you.
Avatar lejardin -
#4
I only met one grandfather one time so I have no memories, you are very lucky. However, one of your memories struck me, my father had me walk on his back lol.   How some things trigger memories in us all. Thanks.
Avatar rcbbuckeye -
#5
You brought back memories of my grandma, my dad's mother. She was a tough German woman, but a very loving grandma.
My dad was in the navy at Pearl also. He was on the battleship California. Only by the grace of God did he survive. He didn't talk about it much, but did tell me once that a bomb went off on the deck he and others were on and all the guys around him were killed.
I like reading your blog about times past. Thanks.
Avatar Elizabeth03 -
#6
I think of my mother and father daily. They died year's ago, but I feel them, around me daily, especially, my mother..

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