I'm tired of this heat !!!!!!!!!
IT'S SO HOT,
SO
HUMID,

NO BREEZE,
AND
NO RAIN !!!!
....the birds
have to use potholders to pull the worms out of the ground.
....the trees are
whistling for the dogs.

....the best parking place is determined by shade
instead of distance

....hot water comes from both taps. (and that's
the truth)

....you can make sun tea instantly.

....you learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty
good branding iron.

....the temperature drops below 95 F (35 C) and
you feel a little chilly.

....you discover that in July it only takes two
fingers to steer your car.

....you discover that you can get sunburned through
your car window.

....you actually burn your hand opening the car
door.

....you break into a sweat the instant you step
outside at 7:30 A.M.

....your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if
I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death"?

....you realize that asphalt has a liquid stage.

....the potatoes cook underground, so all you have
to do is pull one out and add butter.

....the cows are giving evaporated milk.

....farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice
to keep them from laying boiled eggs

IT'S SO DRY .....
That the Baptists
are starting to baptize by sprinkling,

The Methodists are using wet-wipes,

Presbyterians are giving rain checks,

And the Catholics are praying for the wine to turn back
into water