Whether a man winds up with the nest egg or a goose egg depends a
lot on the kind of chick he marries.

Trouble in marriage often starts when a man gets so busy earnin' his
salt that he forgets his sugar.

Too many couples marry for better or for worse, but not for good.

When a man marries a woman, they become one, but the trouble starts
when they try to decide which one.

If a man has enough "horse sense" to treat his wife like a
thoroughbred, she will never be an old nag.

Judgin' from the specimens they pick for husbands, it's no wonder
that brides often blush.

On anniversaries the wise husband always forgets the past...but
never the present.

A foolish husband remarks to his wife "Honey, you stick to the
washin', ironin', cookin', and scrubbin'. No wife of mine is gonna work."

The bonds of matrimony are a good investment only when the interest
is kept up.

Many girls like to marry a military man--he can cook, sew, make a
bed, and is in good health...and he's already used to taking orders.

Grandpappy and his wife were discussin' their 50th wedding
anniversary when she said, "Shall I kill a chicken tonight?" "Naw,
said Grandpappy, "Why blame a bird for something' that happened
50 years ago."