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Enjoy Miss Manners Q & A : Etiquette for Becoming Embarrassingly Rich

No Worries

EddessaKnight

Dear Miss Manners,
Some friends and I were discussing what we would do in the unlikely event that any of us won the lottery, and find we need to appeal to you on one major question that came up. What is the etiquette involved in suddenly becoming embarrassingly rich?

 Of course, we all agreed that none of us would flaunt it, but the fact remains that, even if one accepted the winnings anonymously, one would have a moral responsibility to use large portions of the winnings to help out friends, relatives and charities. It would be impossible, in that case, to hide the fact that one had "come into" a bit of money.

 How does one politely refuse to divulge the exact amount of winnings received? Or for that matter, the amounts given to various people and causes, or even the amount of winnings currently remaining? How does one politely refuse to become a fairy godmother to everybody and their sister? If one wishes to, say, fund the college education of a cousin's three children, is it necessary to gift an equal amount of money to the comfortably well-off cousin's childless sibling? Is it possible to give money to charities and not have them hound you for the rest of your life?

 These are burning questions to which we all hope to need the answers soon.

Gentle Reader,
Ah, yes, the curse of the newly rich: Everyone you know turns competitively greedy; you have a load of new security worries; and you suspect that no one really loves you for yourself.

But then you would be able to buy that dream thingamabob.

No. At least not yet. Not unless you want everyone to go around saying, "Have you seen that thingamabob of hers? Do you know what that cost? And here she's grudging me the little house I need to put a roof over my children's heads."

Still want to win?

Miss Manners was afraid of that.

Change your name to Anonymous. Not only in requesting anonymity from the lottery itself, but from the charities you support.

Do not blow your cover by shouting from the rooftops. Or by changing your life dramatically.

By all means, help your friends and relatives, but do so on an irregular, spaced schedule, so they don't see the pattern. Tell each one that you have "come into a little money" (if pressed, you can say that an investment paid off, as indeed your expenditure for the lottery ticket would have) and ask them not to talk about it.

When it gets out that you won the lottery -- as indeed it will because none of the above strategies will work -- say that you have hired a financial advisor who has put you on a strict budget, so that you do not have funds available for everything everyone suggests. This will be true, as hiring that person is the very first thing you should do.

Enjoy Miss Manners Q & A : Etiquette for Becoming Embarrassingly Rich

No Worries

EddessaKnight

Dear Miss Manners,
Some friends and I were discussing what we would do in the unlikely event that any of us won the lottery, and find we need to appeal to you on one major question that came up. What is the etiquette involved in suddenly becoming embarrassingly rich?

 Of course, we all agreed that none of us would flaunt it, but the fact remains that, even if one accepted the winnings anonymously, one would have a moral responsibility to use large portions of the winnings to help out friends, relatives and charities. It would be impossible, in that case, to hide the fact that one had "come into" a bit of money.

 How does one politely refuse to divulge the exact amount of winnings received? Or for that matter, the amounts given to various people and causes, or even the amount of winnings currently remaining? How does one politely refuse to become a fairy godmother to everybody and their sister? If one wishes to, say, fund the college education of a cousin's three children, is it necessary to gift an equal amount of money to the comfortably well-off cousin's childless sibling? Is it possible to give money to charities and not have them hound you for the rest of your life?

 These are burning questions to which we all hope to need the answers soon.

Gentle Reader,
Ah, yes, the curse of the newly rich: Everyone you know turns competitively greedy; you have a load of new security worries; and you suspect that no one really loves you for yourself.

But then you would be able to buy that dream thingamabob.

No. At least not yet. Not unless you want everyone to go around saying, "Have you seen that thingamabob of hers? Do you know what that cost? And here she's grudging me the little house I need to put a roof over my children's heads."

Still want to win?

Miss Manners was afraid of that.

Change your name to Anonymous. Not only in requesting anonymity from the lottery itself, but from the charities you support.

Do not blow your cover by shouting from the rooftops. Or by changing your life dramatically.

By all means, help your friends and relatives, but do so on an irregular, spaced schedule, so they don't see the pattern. Tell each one that you have "come into a little money" (if pressed, you can say that an investment paid off, as indeed your expenditure for the lottery ticket would have) and ask them not to talk about it.

When it gets out that you won the lottery -- as indeed it will because none of the above strategies will work -- say that you have hired a financial advisor who has put you on a strict budget, so that you do not have funds available for everything everyone suggests. This will be true, as hiring that person is the very first thing you should do.

Enjoy Miss Manners Q & A : Etiquette for Becoming Embarrassingly Rich

No Worries

EddessaKnight

Dear Miss Manners,
Some friends and I were discussing what we would do in the unlikely event that any of us won the lottery, and find we need to appeal to you on one major question that came up. What is the etiquette involved in suddenly becoming embarrassingly rich?

 Of course, we all agreed that none of us would flaunt it, but the fact remains that, even if one accepted the winnings anonymously, one would have a moral responsibility to use large portions of the winnings to help out friends, relatives and charities. It would be impossible, in that case, to hide the fact that one had "come into" a bit of money.

 How does one politely refuse to divulge the exact amount of winnings received? Or for that matter, the amounts given to various people and causes, or even the amount of winnings currently remaining? How does one politely refuse to become a fairy godmother to everybody and their sister? If one wishes to, say, fund the college education of a cousin's three children, is it necessary to gift an equal amount of money to the comfortably well-off cousin's childless sibling? Is it possible to give money to charities and not have them hound you for the rest of your life?

 These are burning questions to which we all hope to need the answers soon.

Gentle Reader,
Ah, yes, the curse of the newly rich: Everyone you know turns competitively greedy; you have a load of new security worries; and you suspect that no one really loves you for yourself.

But then you would be able to buy that dream thingamabob.

No. At least not yet. Not unless you want everyone to go around saying, "Have you seen that thingamabob of hers? Do you know what that cost? And here she's grudging me the little house I need to put a roof over my children's heads."

Still want to win?

Miss Manners was afraid of that.

Change your name to Anonymous. Not only in requesting anonymity from the lottery itself, but from the charities you support.

Do not blow your cover by shouting from the rooftops. Or by changing your life dramatically.

By all means, help your friends and relatives, but do so on an irregular, spaced schedule, so they don't see the pattern. Tell each one that you have "come into a little money" (if pressed, you can say that an investment paid off, as indeed your expenditure for the lottery ticket would have) and ask them not to talk about it.

When it gets out that you won the lottery -- as indeed it will because none of the above strategies will work -- say that you have hired a financial advisor who has put you on a strict budget, so that you do not have funds available for everything everyone suggests. This will be true, as hiring that person is the very first thing you should do.