amber123's Blog

LMAO...funny joke

I broke up with my girlfriend at a restaurant. She started crying.

 

Everyone thought I proposed to her and started clapping.   Green laugh

Entry #123

GENIUS Trumphy and his great wisdom...PFTTTT

This GENIUS is actually a moron.

 

https://www.cosmopolitan.com.au/news/dumbest-things-president-donald-trump-has-ever-said-22247

 

 

What an EFFING joke...like someone I know on this site.....Hit With Stick...Yeah...keep defending this idiot, and you keep making yourself look even more idiotic....Thud

 

THIS IS WHAT FOX WON'T SHOW IT'S BRAINWASHED SHEEPLE.

 

Here’s a  very  surprising news flash:  President Trump is a bit of a f--king idiot. And by ‘a bit’, we mean ‘a lot’. Ever since  he stepped into the limelight  all those months ago, he’s said – we don’t know – maybe five coherent things? Six, tops.

Whenever he’s in front of a camera, or even in front of the families of fallen soldiers or young children, he makes the effort to not only make everything about himself and his ego, but to say some disgustingly offensive things about women, children, the disabled and… well… just about everyone.

To entertain you, and to horrify you, here are the top craziest things he’s ever said.

 

"If Ivanka weren't my daughter, perhaps I'd be dating her."

“Yeah, she’s really something, and what a beauty, that one. If I weren’t happily married and, ya know, her father...”

 

"Black guys counting my money! I hate it. The only kind of people I want counting my money are little short guys that wear yarmulkes every day."

"I think the only difference between me and other candidates is that I'm more honest and my women are more beautiful."

 

"Ariana Huffington is unattractive, both inside and out. I fully understand why her former husband left her for a man — he made a good decision."

"If I were running  The View, I'd fire Rosie O'Donnell. I mean, I'd look at her right in that fat, ugly face of hers, I'd say 'Rosie, you're fired.'"

 

"It's freezing and snowing in New York — we need global warming!"

"That's one of the nice things. I mean, part of the beauty of me is that I'm very rich. So if I need $600 million, I can put $600 million myself. That's a huge advantage. I must tell you, that's a huge advantage over the other candidates."

“We have a 5 billion dollar website. I have so many websites … I hire people. They do a website. It costs me three dollars.”

 

“All of the women on  The Apprentice  flirted with me — consciously or unconsciously. That's to be expected.”

"Robert Pattinson should not take back Kristen Stewart. She cheated on him like a dog & will do it again — just watch. He can do much better!"

 

"An ‘extremely credible source’ has called my office and told me that @BarackObama's birth certificate is a fraud."

“What a convenient mistake: @BarackObama issued a statement for Kwanza (sic) but failed to issue one for Christmas.”

 

"While @BetteMidler is an extremely unattractive woman, I refuse to say that because I always insist on being politically correct."

"26,000 unreported sexual assults in the military-only 238 convictions. What did these geniuses expect when they put men & women together?"

 

"Now, somebody who a lot of people don’t give credit to but in actuality is really beautiful is Paris Hilton. I’ve known Paris Hilton from the time she’s 12. Her parents are friends of mine, and the first time I saw her she walked into a room and I said, ‘Who the hell is that?’"

"She's a very... Well, at 12 I wasn't interested. I've never been into that. They've sort of always stuck around that 25 category."

 

“Happy New Year to all, including to my many enemies and those who have fought me and lost so badly they just don’t know what to do. Love!”

“Meryl Streep, one of the most over-rated actresses in Hollywood, doesn’t know me but attacked last night at the Golden Globes. She is a Hillary flunky who lost big.”

 

My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well documented, are various other parts of my body.”

“The point is, you can never be too greedy.”

“My IQ is one of the highest — and you all know it! Please don’t feel so stupid or insecure; it’s not your fault.”

 

“Number one, I have great respect for women. I was the one that really broke the glass ceiling on behalf of women, more than anybody in the construction industry.”

“You know, it really doesn’t matter what the media write as long as you’ve got a young, and beautiful, piece of ass.”

Entry #118

JFK was killed by the driver (VIDEO) WARNING! (GRAPHIC) ! !

Yup, you read that right. Start paying attention at about 1:16. You can clearly see the length because the length is highlighted by the sun shining on the gun, and it's blast direction......Focus on the driver.....Why do you think Jackie was climbing back, to get away from the shooter?

Some people's argument is that Jackie was trying to run a way of the scene where he was shot, but I believe she was smart enough to know the difference between a far away shot and a close up firing of a gun. I'm pretty sure Jackie knew this and hoped he couldn't do the same to her.

 

Entry #112

More stupid things Trumpy said in the past, lol

“An ‘extremely credible source’ has called my office and told me that Barack Obama’s birth certificate is a fraud”

“Ariana Huffington is unattractive, both inside and out. I fully understand why her former husband left her for a man – he made a good decision.”
“Meryl Streep, one of the most over-rated actresses in Hollywood, doesn’t know me but attacked last night at the Golden Globes. She is a Hillary flunky who lost big. For the 100th time, I never “mocked” a disabled reporter (would never do that) but simply showed him “groveling” when he totally changed a 16 year old story that he had written in order to make me look bad. Just more very dishonest media!” 

“I will build a great wall – and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me – and I’ll build them very inexpensively. I will build a great, great wall on our southern border, and I will make Mexico pay for that wall. Mark my words.” 

“If I were running ‘The View’, I’d fire Rosie O’Donnell. I mean, I’d look at her right in that fat, ugly face of hers, I’d say ‘Rosie, you’re fired.’”

“The beauty of me is that I’m very rich.”

“I’ve said if Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.”

“I have never seen a thin person drinking Diet Coke.”

“I think the only difference between me and the other candidates is that I’m more honest and my women are more beautiful.”

“My IQ is one of the highest — and you all know it! Please don’t feel so stupid or insecure; it’s not your fault.”

“Lyin’ Ted Cruz just used a picture of Melania from a shoot in his ad. Be careful, Lyin’ Ted, or I will spill the beans on your wife!”

“You know, it really doesn’t matter what the media write as long as you’ve got a young, and beautiful, piece of ass.”

“You know, I’m automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything….Grab them by the *****. You can do anything.”

“[The New York Times] don’t write good. They have people over there, like Maggie Haberman and others, they don’t – they don’t write good. They don’t know how to write good.” 

“You could see there was blood coming out of her eyes, blood coming out of her wherever.”

“I know more about ISIS than the generals do. Believe me.”

I hate to tell you Puerto Rico, but you've thrown our budget a little out of whack," the president said jokingly on his trip to the Island Tuesday. "Because we've spent a lot of money on Puerto Rico."
At least more people didn't die!

“He’s a war hero because he was captured. I like people that weren’t captured, OK?”

“Heidi Klum. Sadly, she’s no longer a 10.”

“Look at that face! Would anyone vote for that? Can you imagine that, the face of our next president?!”

“I never attacked him on his looks and believe me, there’s a lot of subject matter there.”

“I’m looking at guys like Marco Rubio who has the worst voting record in the United States Senate. Young guy although he sweats more than any young person I’ve seen in my life. I’ve never seen a person sweat — I have never seen a guy down water like he downs water. They bring it in in buckets for this guy.”

“How stupid are the people of Iowa? How stupid are the people of the country to believe this crap?”

“When he said he stabbed somebody with a knife but it hit a belt buckle—I know all about knives and belt buckles.”

“I watched when the World Trade Center came tumbling down. And I watched in Jersey City, N.J., where thousands and thousands of people were cheering as that building was coming down. Thousands of people were cheering.”

“I know where she went, it’s disgusting, I don’t want to talk about it. No, it’s too disgusting.”

“I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn’t lose voters.” 



“Happy  #CincoDeMayo! The best taco bowls are made in Trump Tower Grill. I love Hispanics!”

“[Kasich] is just a guy who is a stubborn guy who eats like a slob.” 

“I will give you everything. … I’m the only one.”

“I feel like a supermodel except, like, times 10, OK? It’s true. I’m a supermodel.” 

“That could be a Mexican plane up there. They’re getting ready to attack,”

“You’re living in poverty, your schools are no good, you have no jobs. Fifty-eight percent of your youth is unemployed. What the hell do you have to lose? And at the end of four years, I guarantee you that I will get over 95 percent of the African-American vote. I promise you. Because I will produce.”

“This was locker room banter, a private conversation that took place many years ago.

Entry #110
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