Comment #4

jarasan — Wed, 14 Feb 2018 02:30:19 GMT

She is awesome!!

Comment #3

rcbbuckeye — Wed, 14 Feb 2018 00:59:28 GMT

LOL. I read it with my hand on the mouse so I could scroll down.

Comment #2

grwurston — Tue, 13 Feb 2018 23:31:40 GMT

I have a dilemma. I don't know which hand to put on my mouse. If I use my right hand will that make me rascist against left handed people, or vice versa if I use my left hand? Is it bad to call someone a righty or a lefty? AAHHHH!!!!

Comment #1

eddessaknight — Tue, 13 Feb 2018 21:50:24 GMT

Still LMAO- and I did read it with my hand on the mouse!!!!! :-)

Original Blog Entry: The End from Maxine !! :-)

eddessaknight — Tue, 13 Feb 2018 21:42:08 GMT

The End from Maxine !!!

As we progress into 2018, I want to thank you for

your educational e-mails over the past year. I am

totally screwed up now and have little chance of recovery.

I can no longer open a bathroom door without using

a paper towel, nor let the waitress put lemon slices in

my ice water without worrying about the bacteria on

the lemon peel.

I can't sit down on a hotel bedspread because I can

only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed.

I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been

driving because the number one pastime while driving alone

is picking one's nose.

Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip because I

can only imagine how many gallons of trans fats I have

consumed over the years.

I can't touch any woman's handbag for fear she has placed

it on the floor of a public toilet.

I must send my special thanks for the email about rat poo

in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet

sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.

ALSO, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for

the same reason.

I can't have a drink in a bar because I fear I'll wake up

in a bathtub full of ice with my kidneys gone.

I can't eat at KFC because their chickens are actually horrible

mutant freaks with no eyes, feet or feathers.

I can't use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell

like a water buffalo on a hot day.

Thanks to you I have learned that my prayers only get answered

if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish

within five minutes.

Because of your concern,I no longer drink Coca Cola because

it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer buy fuel without taking someone along to watch the car,

so a serial killer doesn't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling up.

I no longer use Cling Wrap in the microwave because it causes

seven different types of cancer.

And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water

in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face,

disfiguring me for life.

I no longer go to the cinema because I could be pricked with a

needle infected with AIDS when I sit down.

I no longer go to shopping centers because someone will drug

me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask

me to dial a number for which I will get a huge phone bill with

calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore and Uzbekistan.

Thanks to you I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a

big black snake could be lurking under the seat and cause me

instant death when it bites my butt.

And thanks to your great advice I can't ever pick up a

dime coin dropped in the car park because it was probably

placed there by a sex molester waiting to grab me as I bend over.

I can't do any gardening because I'm afraid I'll get bitten

by the Violin Spider and my hand will fall off.

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in

the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land

on your head at 5:00 p.m. tomorrow afternoon, and the

fleas from 120 camels will infest your back, causing you

to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it

actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor s

ex mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's best friend's

beautician!

Oh, and by the way...

A German scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study,

has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity

read their e-mails with their hand on the mouse.

Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.

P. S. I now keep my toothbrush in the living room, because

I was told by e-mail that water splashes over 6 ft. out

of the toilet..

NOW YOU HAVE YOURSELF A VERY GOOD DAY...

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