Comment #3

rdgrnr — Thu, 28 Jun 2012 03:16:01 GMT

Good ones Em, thanks...

Comment #2

sully16 — Thu, 28 Jun 2012 03:02:11 GMT

LOL, THANKS EMILY

Comment #1

MADDOG10 — Wed, 27 Jun 2012 21:10:12 GMT

Those are great EM......!

Original Blog Entry: Paraprosdokians

emilyg — Wed, 27 Jun 2012 20:00:44 GMT

From: Subject: PARAPROSDOKIANS

PARAPROSDOKIANS (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in

which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected;

frequently humorous.

1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until

you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left..

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a

fruit salad.

8. They begin the evening news with 'Good Evening,' then proceed to tell

you why it isn't.

9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is

research.

10. Buses stop in bus stations. Trains stop in train stations. On my desk

is a work station.

11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.

12. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency,

notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'

13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street

with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a

successful man is usually another woman.

16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to

skydive twice.

18. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live

with.

19. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they

can't get away.

20. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

21. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you

hit the target.

22. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

23. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

25. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in

a garage makes you a car.

... [ More ]