CONTEST: What's the best punch line?

Reply #16

twisted — Tue, 30 Nov 2004 02:16:44 GMT

Two guys are standing in line to buy lottery tickets. One guy is boiling mad and grumbling about how he can't win enough money because the lottery is rigged. The other guy is a little puzzled by it all and asks, If you're so sure that the lottery is rigged, why do you keep playing it? The disgruntled fellow answers, Because I love the sound the machine makes when it punches it out a ticket. Oh wait, here it goes again......I LOVE IT. Give me one more.

Reply #15

hgabel — Tue, 30 Nov 2004 01:11:11 GMT

And the suspicious fella sez, Well, I'm redecorating my den and the losing tickets make good wallpaper .

Reply #14

reddog — Sun, 28 Nov 2004 06:47:26 GMT

Reply #13

BobP — Sun, 28 Nov 2004 04:48:34 GMT

Reply #12

ayenowitall — Sun, 28 Nov 2004 03:56:36 GMT

I hope it's not unethical for me to enter my own contest. Here's how I'd complete the joke.Two guys are standing in line to buy lottery tickets. One guy is boiling mad and grumbling about how he can't win enough money because the lottery is rigged. The other guy is a little puzzled by it all and asks, If you're so sure that the lottery is rigged, why do you keep playing it? The disgruntled fellow answers, Because I don't have any right to complain if I don't play. Good luck,aye... [ More ]

Reply #11

LOTTOMIKE — Sun, 28 Nov 2004 03:10:47 GMT

lol,that's a new one

Reply #10

winsumloosesum — Sun, 28 Nov 2004 03:07:07 GMT

I guy is sitting in the dentist chair and sez to the dentist, You know doc, I'm allergic to needles and novacane . The dentist sez, Take 2 of these Viagra . The patient sez, Why ? The dentist says, So you'll have something to hold on to !! Yuk Yuk

Reply #9

DoctorEw220 — Sun, 28 Nov 2004 03:03:54 GMT

here's one. the guy answers because i'm the one who rigged it. i'm just blowing my winnings on a few tipoffs from the security guy. now if you'll excuse me, i'm going to buy out those $20 games. ok. that one was bad, but it was all i could come up with.

Reply #8

winsumloosesum — Sun, 28 Nov 2004 03:00:15 GMT

Because I see you here in line everday with your sexy wife

Reply #7

MADDOG10 — Sun, 28 Nov 2004 02:51:41 GMT

because i'm trying to win enough money to get back to kansas.

Reply #6

enterceptorr — Sun, 28 Nov 2004 02:42:02 GMT

he answerz,.........cause i got nothin better to do

Reply #5

catspick — Sun, 28 Nov 2004 02:26:59 GMT

The answer is Because he's unemployed and needs the money.

Reply #4

ayenowitall — Sat, 27 Nov 2004 21:00:32 GMT

Todd,I think you're leading the contest right now. Your punch line had me LMAO! Good one! Very good one!No wonder you're the Chief Bottle Washer here at LP.aye

Reply #3

Todd — Sat, 27 Nov 2004 20:35:21 GMT

Because I spent my entire vacation staking out various mom pop stores in each corner of the state, pretending that my car was broken for 12 hours a day, and counting how many cutsomers enter the store. Now I need to win to pay for my gas money.

Reply #2

LOTTOMIKE — Sat, 27 Nov 2004 16:45:42 GMT

the disgruntled fellow answers.......... i've been a loser all my life and spent untold amounts and i've sent all my neighbors kids to college through the state education lottery and they don't even have the heart to thank me,i'm working on little dave's education now but boy he'd be mad at me if i'd hit the jackpot,lol

Reply #1

WIN D — Sat, 27 Nov 2004 16:35:03 GMT

I know ....I know....here's one..... 1. Because it feels soooo good when I Stop! LOL

CONTEST: What's the best punch line?

ayenowitall — Sat, 27 Nov 2004 13:27:12 GMT

In the spirit of coping with the perception that lotteries are fixed, crooked, rigged, corrupt, fraudulent, mismanaged, or whatever adjective you might choose, I'd like to offer a little contest.I'm sure that you've all heard the joke about the man who was sitting at his desk pounding his head against the wall. One of his co-workers walked by and inquired as to why he was hitting his head. Without hesitation, the man answered, Because it feels so good when I stop. Well, many a truth is told in... [ More ]