Here's how to lose at Mega Millions...

Reply #23

Just6ntlc — Fri, 11 Nov 2005 23:47:53 GMT

Here's how I lose in MM. First I buy only $1 in MM or CA SLP ticket. Then the luck of the draw comes out. Unfortunately, for me, I mainly don't win. This is a funny article.

Reply #22

Chewie — Fri, 11 Nov 2005 13:51:02 GMT

welcome back. Missed your wit - and your bark.

Reply #21

sirbrad — Fri, 11 Nov 2005 07:17:42 GMT

Yes but is there a SYSTEM for going out and being struck by lightning while fending off an attack by a two-headed shark that was recently elected prime minister of Tajikistan? Perhaps grabbing several metal rods, and running for the ocean? Or maybe grab several friends, and family members to go as well, thus creating a wheel? If I can narrow it down to that, I will have decreased my odds to about 1: 40,000,000 of the shark being two-headed, and currently holding office in Tajikistsan.

Reply #20

bellyache — Fri, 11 Nov 2005 06:44:26 GMT

Odds of winning. Your odds of winning the jackpot are 135 million-to-1, approximately the same as your chances of being struck by lightning while fending off an attack by a two-headed shark that was recently elected prime minister of Tajikistan.In contrast, the odds of winning the state's Super Lotto Plus jackpot are 13.9 million-to-1 (same scenario, one-headed shark).Knowing this still doesn't stop me from playing. And it doesn't stop millions of other people from playing either.... [ More ]

Reply #19

destinedtowin — Fri, 11 Nov 2005 03:12:11 GMT

Great artical. Verrrry Funnnny As always I'm Destinedtowin

Reply #18

psykomo — Fri, 11 Nov 2005 02:35:17 GMT

MADDOG10:When I pass by a table, I always feel like QUICK-Pickin-UP the Money jumpin OUT of the NET......................................and OUT the Door!!!!!!!!!Watch dem balls.........sirbrad.............They can be HADDDDDDDDDDDDD.LOLPSYKOMO

Reply #17

MADDOG10 — Fri, 11 Nov 2005 02:14:50 GMT

when you pass by a ping-pong table, do you feel like jumping over the net

Reply #16

sirbrad — Fri, 11 Nov 2005 01:43:50 GMT

Yes I have been researching so much stuff on the net about the lottery, and systems that is starting to drive me almost insane. All I see are ping-pong balls with numbers on them 24/7. I sure hope it PAYS off one day soon! But it is far more frustrating than anything so far.

Reply #15

psykomo — Fri, 11 Nov 2005 01:33:43 GMT

sirbrad:Keep-up your research.................it breaks me into an uncontrolllableeeeelaugh every time iiiiiiiiii think about this storireeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!but, no..... Raccooh has never won a lottery to my knowledge?????????LOLPSYKOMO

Reply #14

TheGameGrl — Thu, 10 Nov 2005 23:15:01 GMT

Thank you for that downright belly ticklin article

Reply #13

Chewie — Thu, 10 Nov 2005 23:10:20 GMT

Have you asked for that in writing from TX NY? I got my info in writing from NJ. You cannot switch. You can get the state of NJ to arrange a buy-out after the win. Nothing asked/said about cash option. Cash seems to be self explanatory.

Reply #12

worldsux — Thu, 10 Nov 2005 21:53:20 GMT

Very funny article. Thanks for posting it.

Reply #11

lchoro — Thu, 10 Nov 2005 21:17:56 GMT

You can probably get around that by assigning your payments to a financing firm that handles structured settlements.

Reply #10

CASH Only — Thu, 10 Nov 2005 20:36:02 GMT

chew:In New Jersey you can switch from annuity to cash. In NY TX you _cannot_.

Reply #9

lchoro — Thu, 10 Nov 2005 20:27:37 GMT

If you play only $ 1, you're almost certain to come back empty-handed or a loser as the writer calls it. Even the smallest prize in Powerball will only yield a winner about once every 70 tickets.

Reply #8

Chewie — Thu, 10 Nov 2005 16:27:29 GMT

Actually, you can change your mind, if you chose annuity up front and want to go to cash after you win. The state will help you get rid of the annuity. I posted the NJ official position in another thread. If you choose cash and want to go to anuity, buy one.

Reply #7

CASH Only — Thu, 10 Nov 2005 14:39:41 GMT

How to lose at Mega Millions: In NY or Texas, choose annual payments. (NY TX require the choice to be made when you play; you cannot change your mind if you win.

Reply #6

Chewie — Thu, 10 Nov 2005 13:58:43 GMT

Cute. I am sure Helen and Harold Lerner of Rutherford, NJ ($156.1M 16 SEP 05) don't quite see it that way. But then, how many believe what a newspaper prints? For comedy, go to a newspaper, especially the New York Times. For facts, you have a btter perspective reading your palms.

Reply #5

sirbrad — Thu, 10 Nov 2005 12:24:59 GMT

Yea the first thing that popped into my mind was the raccoon in a convenient store looking around nervously with a $20 bill in his paw, asking the clerk: Can I have $20 worth of Mega millions please

Reply #4

Too$hort — Thu, 10 Nov 2005 07:36:18 GMT

i'm definitely smiling, and the racoon thing is funny as hell - just pictured a racoon spending $52

Reply #3

NoCompLotto! — Thu, 10 Nov 2005 07:15:12 GMT

I have tears streaming down my face because I am LAUGHING so HARD

Reply #2

emilyg — Thu, 10 Nov 2005 06:49:44 GMT

Reply #1

sirbrad — Thu, 10 Nov 2005 06:25:28 GMT

If your six numbers match those in the Mega Millions drawing, pinch yourself. You are dreaming. In the event you are not dreaming, redeem the winning ticket at an Ohio Lottery Commission office, then hold a news conference at which you announce you will not quit your job for a while.Then quit your job LMAO

Here's how to lose at Mega Millions...

sirbrad — Thu, 10 Nov 2005 06:22:03 GMT

Here's how to lose at Mega Millions like a real expertFrom the Columbus Dispatch, Saturday, May 18, 2002Joe BlundoDispatch Accent ColumnistOhio has joined Mega Millions, a multistate lottery that offers bigger jackpots than the state's Super Lotto Plus.Because the game is new, some residents are uncertain how to play. So To Speak presents this guide in an effort to aggravate the confusion:Welcome. The Ohio Lottery Commission welcomes you to the exciting new multistate game Mega Millions. Now you... [ More ]