Lottery headlines I'd like to see

Reply #34

JimmySand9 — Thu, 13 Jul 2006 01:24:29 GMT

Sounds like something out of Monty Python. I like it.

Reply #33

Fibonacci — Thu, 13 Jul 2006 01:05:23 GMT

The Daily News

All views are fit to print-Publisher/Proprietor: Mendacious Mucs

Lottery Officials Probed

Hero hacker exposes nationwide lottery corruption

(Wash, DC--Jul 13, 2009) In an ever widening federal probe, lottery officials in 15 states are facing federal corruption charges stemming from the manipulation of state computers to favor outcomes in which they had a vested interest. The scheme was discovered when a hitherto little known hacker, using tools

Reply #32

GASMETERGUY — Thu, 13 Jul 2006 00:41:34 GMT

Headline you might see someday:

Nashville, Tenn:

The Cash 5 jackpot of $750,000 was claimed today by a man born in this country, worked for forty years, paid his 50% a year in taxes, and then retired. Upon learning that he was a member of LottoryPost.com, his claim was denied. A spokesperson for the Tenneessee Education Lottory said, We denied his claim because he had an unfair advantage. Belonging to the LotteryPost.com community gave him insight an illegal alien would not have.

Reply #31

TheGameGrl — Thu, 13 Jul 2006 00:30:23 GMT

Headlines one might never read:

Braille Lottery tickets on sale! Local Knitting group wins big on first braille ticket! Quilting Bee Group Collects second prize! Reporter alledges they may have forged the tickets though! The community is shocked

Reply #30

LOTTOMIKE — Thu, 13 Jul 2006 00:28:07 GMT

i can definitely see this happening

Reply #29

Fibonacci — Thu, 13 Jul 2006 00:22:43 GMT

The New Luck Time$

Lottery Post Produces its 151st Millionaire

Lucky Lottery Lovers--met in Cyberspace

Reply #28

mylollipop — Wed, 12 Jul 2006 19:33:38 GMT

National Disaster Lottery Approved to Be Operated by Private Non-Profit Organizations.

Reply #27

time*treat — Wed, 12 Jul 2006 00:05:16 GMT

Hi JXP,

It's an original as far as I know, but once you put it on the web it seems you no longer own it .

I came up with it as a result of a discussion of the lotto type games. I'm still working on proving its validity in that context.

Reply #26

justxploring — Tue, 11 Jul 2006 23:17:11 GMT

Funny!!

They would definitely sell a lot of tickets! I never thought of it before, but the lottery prize is named just right for ya!

JACK-POT

If they started selling those new scratch-offs in the state of Florida it would put a whole new meaning to the word Sunshine state. The jackpot would really mushroom. (groan)

Electrical banana, is gonna be a sudden craze....

Reply #25

Bryan — Tue, 11 Jul 2006 13:31:02 GMT

Lottery Masses Get Their Wish. Computerized Drawings Banned In All States

Reply #24

pacattack05 — Tue, 11 Jul 2006 12:58:57 GMT

LOL....

Now I know why ET's eyes were so big and wide open.

He saw the phone bill.....

Reply #23

Rip Snorter — Tue, 11 Jul 2006 11:18:19 GMT

New Mexico Roadrunner Jackpot Soars - Lottery Officials Baffled

$168 Million and climbing

In other news, FDA officials take measures to add ink to the controlled substances list. Certain inks have been found to produce severe hallucinagenic reactions.

Outside a convenience store in Bernalillo, NM, a customer was seen to be licking a lottery ticket. This is real good sh*t , he muttered.

Meanwhile, NM Lottery Commission has announced the debut of a new line of scratchers. Thi... [ More ]

Reply #22

wannawin24 — Tue, 11 Jul 2006 09:16:45 GMT

Lottery Headline I would like to see:

GA Midday Cash 4 Computer Glitch 6666 Really Came

Reply #21

psykomo — Tue, 11 Jul 2006 06:56:00 GMT

No problem.......................take .......TAKA...........TAKAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHPICH_%

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% %%%%%%%%%%%

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111111111----------------------!!

GET on the........................... BALL $$$$$

lol$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

PsYkOmO.................

Reply #20

psykomo — Tue, 11 Jul 2006 06:38:31 GMT

float the boat this summer..........SEA PICK-5 ALIVE!!!!!!!!!

LOL>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>PICK-ah- PICK-5 $TATE>>>>$$$$$$

U-2...................kan Winnnn>>>$$

LOL

PSYKOMO.................................... HOT

Reply #19

justxploring — Tue, 11 Jul 2006 06:25:35 GMT

Reply #18

JimmySand9 — Tue, 11 Jul 2006 05:53:42 GMT

President signs Age Of Majority Protection Act .

The President signed a bill banning all age restrictions set over age 18, with an exception given to services oriented toward senior citizens and to minimum ages for purchasing tobacco. The law will require states to lower the minimum age to purchase alcohol, and to gamble, to age 18 if it hasn't been set to 18 already. Rental car agencies will also be required to rent cars to persons 18 years of age or older, although they may charge higher... [ More ]

Reply #17

emilyg — Tue, 11 Jul 2006 05:45:02 GMT

Reply #16

justxploring — Tue, 11 Jul 2006 05:37:33 GMT

Fortunes have been made on ideas dismissed by others as having no value.

Is this an original phrase or a quote? I like it.

Reply #15

Coin Toss — Tue, 11 Jul 2006 05:31:30 GMT

We own the night

Tom Clancy in Clear and Present Danger, adopted by Art Bell as motto for his Coast to Coast am radio program (now hosted by George Noory during the week

Reply #14

time*treat — Tue, 11 Jul 2006 05:28:09 GMT

Hmmm, even without the timestamp, you can tell the late late-night posts

Reply #13

Coin Toss — Tue, 11 Jul 2006 05:17:14 GMT

Unless of course they're just coming to check on their colony, planted so long ago.

Reply #12

dvdiva — Tue, 11 Jul 2006 05:15:19 GMT

If aliens have the intelligence to come here in the first place they would have the intelligence not to land and deal with humans in the first place.

Reply #11

Coin Toss — Tue, 11 Jul 2006 05:06:10 GMT

justxploring

You're killing me

Reply #10

justxploring — Tue, 11 Jul 2006 04:37:54 GMT

**ILLEGAL ALIENS FIGHT FOR RIGHT TO COLLECT $50M JACKPOT**

Visiting for a winter vacation, Messrs Klaatu and E.T. showed up at lottery headquarters in Tallahassee with their attorneys. Each lucky player won 1/2 of the $50 million jackpot drawn on December 27. Mr. E.T. said he first learned of his win after he phoned home. When Mr. Klaatu was asked about his reaction, all he could say was The Earth stood still. When presenting identification, Lottery Officials state neither winner coul... [ More ]

Reply #9

Coin Toss — Tue, 11 Jul 2006 03:50:12 GMT

How about:

Aliens land! Came here to ask Earth to join the inter-galactic Mahooga Millions jackpot game

Reply #8

Rip Snorter — Tue, 11 Jul 2006 03:33:55 GMT

GOD DISCOVERED LIVING ON THE MOON

In a surprise development today, NASA officials announced God is alive and well, living on the moon. He seems to be doing okay, John Luniscimo, director of public relations for NASA, observed. He's just up there playing the numbers and growing a beard.

Reply #7

BaristaExpress — Tue, 11 Jul 2006 03:33:25 GMT

People of the United States, today is the first day of the National Lottery! You asked for it and now you're going to get it!

Six months later: United States Supreme Court indites all house and Senate members! Charges are the pilfering of the peoples money from the National Lottery for personal gain (excessive pay raises, more paid vacation time, etc).

Now that's something I hope never comes to light (A National Lottery to fund national disaster relief). That would be more money going to s... [ More ]

Reply #6

dvdiva — Tue, 11 Jul 2006 02:22:24 GMT

MM has a record jackpot and I'm the sole winner. Of course the odds of MM actually having a record (of all time) jackpot are about the same as me winning it.

Reply #5

Rip Snorter — Tue, 11 Jul 2006 02:12:32 GMT

LOTTERY OFFICIALS INDICTED

FEDERAL GRAND JURY HANDS DOWN 27 INDICTMENTS

In other news, the US Senate and House of representatives proceeded carefully in their attempt to dethrone the King of the United States today. Both houses of government confirmed yesterdays unanimous vote for impeachment in hopes by doing it again the King would acknowledge they have the power to do so under the provisions of the late US Constitution. Spokesman for the office of the King cleverly observed, No com... [ More ]

Reply #4

JAP69 — Tue, 11 Jul 2006 02:05:18 GMT

Lottery anuities banned.

Reply #3

lottolaughs — Tue, 11 Jul 2006 02:02:28 GMT

$120 Million Jackpot won by 120 people!

I'm sick of seeing one person always win a big one like that. Spread it around!! I'd settle for a mil.

Reply #2

Coin Toss — Mon, 10 Jul 2006 23:52:38 GMT

Some more:

Mega Millions won in Illinois

(not sure it's ever happened)

also:

Illinois Little Lotto, Illinois Lotto both hit outside of Chicago

Illinois Little Lotto goes back top 5/ 30

and: National Lottery, Lotto USA starts

Reply #1

DoubleDown — Mon, 10 Jul 2006 21:58:28 GMT

Lottery Headline I would like to see:

I won the jackpot . I'll take it.

Lottery headlines I'd like to see

CASH Only — Mon, 10 Jul 2006 21:32:38 GMT

NY Lotto Increases Payout to 50%

MA Megabucks Introduces Cash Option

PA Cancels Lucky for Life

GA and KY Add Cash Option to Win for Life