'Lucky Lotto Limericks'

Reply #41

Coin Toss — Mon, 01 Jan 2007 23:51:03 GMT

Well the New Year came in with a bang

'tho none of our numbers 'sang'

the Guv. said thanks a bunch

for always buying me lunch

Send my best to the LP gang

______________________________

He just knew that his picks were a lock

even though they put him in hock

He once drove a Caddy

Now walks Cincinnati

having never gotten over his shock

______________________________

Lots of people post on the net

Telling you they've got a sure bet

but they don't play th... [ More ]

Reply #40

justxploring — Mon, 01 Jan 2007 01:37:54 GMT

Are you well? LOL I think you need a warm bowl of chicken soup with some knadlach.

Reply #39

Coin Toss — Mon, 01 Jan 2007 01:11:00 GMT

Oy! How Miriam loved to kvetch

'cause her numbers have never hit yet

she insists they're good luck

'tho they don't bring a buck

Only a shiksa would change her bet

Reply #38

Coin Toss — Mon, 01 Jan 2007 00:58:50 GMT

She was so focused on winnin'

she lost sight of the Road to Perdition

she made a slight score

but now plays no more

'cause hitting trip sixes was sinnin'

(Don't get ticked folks

I'm just kiddin

Reply #37

justxploring — Mon, 01 Jan 2007 00:48:13 GMT

Yikes. I just looked at my calculator and it reads 666666

I pick the number 666

I hope it will be in the mix

But if I win

Is it a sin?

And I'll be sailing down the river Styx.

Reply #36

kayee — Sun, 31 Dec 2006 18:20:00 GMT

kool trick

Reply #35

Amazing Grace — Sun, 31 Dec 2006 17:07:46 GMT

A number picking I go

Looking for a ,win place or show

On my face a big Grin

Because it was a big win

and off to the bank I go

Reply #34

Amazing Grace — Sun, 31 Dec 2006 17:04:34 GMT

1 to 9, pick a number I plea,

Multiply 15,873.

And again times 7,

The product to leaven,

Your pick, repeating 6 times you'll see.

Reply #33

justxploring — Sun, 31 Dec 2006 05:24:18 GMT

Rhyming here is not required.

In fact, my rhyming will now be retired

I'd rather get a hug

Than to sound like I'm smug

To all... Happy New Year is what is desired !!

Peace to all.

Reply #32

lotterybraker — Sun, 31 Dec 2006 04:21:17 GMT

awwww thank you Kayee..I have a feeling 2007 is going to be a GREAT YEAR!!!!!..Happy New Year to all the wonderful friends I have had the pleasure of meeting since March..

Reply #31

kayee — Sun, 31 Dec 2006 04:02:17 GMT

There is a man from Mississippi

who has a system that's quite nifty

he spreads it around

and lots of straights we did found

and I just think he's quite the superdupercodemandude!!!! lol

Now my poem didn't rhyme at the end but I hope you'll still be my friend and together in 2007 we'll win!! win!! win

Reply #30

Litebets27 — Sat, 30 Dec 2006 23:55:21 GMT

litebets

Reply #29

Coin Toss — Sat, 30 Dec 2006 23:20:21 GMT

On LP while most others slumber

we work night and day seeking right numbers

we'll try this and that

but so far 'tis all flat

but the jackpot will go to a 'stumbler'

(an error made in working a system, that will payoff

Reply #28

Litebets27 — Sat, 30 Dec 2006 21:52:52 GMT

Good one justx. !

Maryland is part of MegaMillion

Although you'd never know it now, would'ya?

Week after week, the winnings are bleak

but we continue to contribute our bullion.

You have to do this one with an Irish accent

Reply #27

justxploring — Sat, 30 Dec 2006 20:26:53 GMT

Maybe one more?

Stella kept waiting in Westminster Abbey

But the fellas said Stella's too crabby.

She then won Euro Millions

And now even Prince Williams

Wants old Stella although she's quite flabby.

Reply #26

Rick G — Sat, 30 Dec 2006 19:47:20 GMT

This was a great thread by Coin Toss. Lotto fun.

Nancy, don't stop now, you're just getting the party started

Reply #25

justxploring — Sat, 30 Dec 2006 19:45:38 GMT

Yay!! That's better. (Now she can afford wine with a cork!) **

** personal joke with me. I always say if it has a cork in it, it's out of my price range.

Reply #24

Litebets27 — Sat, 30 Dec 2006 19:34:50 GMT

There still is a man in New York

whose wife use to call him a Dork

But then he won Lotto

She formed a new motto

Spit the loot, leave the Dork in New York

Reply #23

justxploring — Sat, 30 Dec 2006 19:21:19 GMT

There once was a man from Kentucky,

Who worked hard, but never was lucky.

One day he bought six

Of the Lotto's QuickPicks

And today his life is just ducky!

There once was a man from New York

Whose wife called him a lazy dork.

But then he won Lotto,

And she's changed her motto,

And serves him in bed with a fork.

Sorry - I'll stop now. Coin Toss discovered one of my compulsions.

Reply #22

justxploring — Sat, 30 Dec 2006 19:10:15 GMT

Lots of good ones here!! Coin Toss had another great idea again. Illinois, toys, enjoys..great Bud. Dedicate that one to Rick or Coin Toss.

Reply #21

budward — Sat, 30 Dec 2006 18:30:18 GMT

There once was a man from Illinois

who wanted to buy some new toys

went to get a ticket

his wife said Quick Pick it

now lots of new toys he enjoys

Reply #20

lotterybraker — Sat, 30 Dec 2006 17:50:41 GMT

People all over the world play the Lottery,but

Before they play they come to L.P...

They come to see me and you..

We are the best at what we do

They come each and every day..

Just to take our numbers away..

LP members feel good about your deed

you have just helped out those in need

Reply #19

Rick G — Sat, 30 Dec 2006 17:43:50 GMT

There once was a man from Nantuckett

who bought a chance but his wife told him chuck it .

When his numbers came in he flashed a big grin

and from her big ass he un-stuck it.

Reply #18

Rick G — Sat, 30 Dec 2006 17:25:08 GMT

Nancy, I'll take you up on that drink (rum punch for me)...but I can't bring Linda along because she's filed a protective order against me. She claims my unrequited love is harrassment.

Reply #17

justxploring — Sat, 30 Dec 2006 17:11:30 GMT

Oops - I think my last comment came out wrong, Rick.

By they way, the Haiti one doesn't rhyme. I goofed. Change Lexus to Mercedes. I started out writing There once was a man from Texas, who dreamed about being Alexis

There once was a man from Haiti

Who dreamed about being a lady.

One day he got lucky

He's no longer Chucky

And is driving around in a Mercedes.

Bob wanted a brand new Mercedes,

So he could really impress the ladies.

So he stole from th... [ More ]

Reply #16

justxploring — Sat, 30 Dec 2006 17:05:02 GMT

Do you remember those Monica Lewinsky/Ted Kaczynski contests many years ago? I entered one, but I can't post it here. Anyway, how about one on the lottery?

There once was a gal named Lewinsky

Who received tickets by mail from Kaczynski.

They weren't safe and she knew it,

She said, Now we both blew it!

And her tickets are stuck to her chinski.

(Aw, Rick. Thanks, but you could still join me for a Pina Colada...and take Linda along.

Reply #15

Rick G — Sat, 30 Dec 2006 17:02:53 GMT

This is for justxploring...

There once was a woman named Nance

who bought tickets thinking no chance .

But after she won, she basked in the sun

and said I don't need no stinkin' romance .

Reply #14

Rick G — Sat, 30 Dec 2006 16:51:28 GMT

Justx...those are some good ones

Reply #13

justxploring — Sat, 30 Dec 2006 16:45:45 GMT

I need to work, but this is getting my brain functioning! (or not...) LOL

There once was a woman from L.A.

Who bought tickets every single day.

When she finally hit the jackpot

She said Tell Hubby? I think not!

And she's hiding somewhere in Bombay.

Reply #12

Litebets27 — Sat, 30 Dec 2006 16:33:33 GMT

I tried to use another word in the place of the locked Mucket, but the word was edited out by LP. Must have been TOO DIRTY . .

litebets

Reply #11

justxploring — Sat, 30 Dec 2006 16:23:38 GMT

Thanks for cleaning mine up, Litebets. Must have been the pressure. You see your name in lights in the middle of the night and the race is on!!

There was a lady who lived by the shore,

Who worked at a convenience store.

She stole winners from a client,

And was very defiant,

But now she's serving 3 to 4!

There once was a man from Haiti

Who dreamed about being a lady.

One day he got lucky

He's no longer Chucky

And is driving around in a Lexus.

Reply #10

Coin Toss — Sat, 30 Dec 2006 16:09:46 GMT

Great stuff folks, thanks for the compliments, too.

Rick G, pretty close to the truth!

lottoluaghs, anyday you can make someone else giggle is a good day!

Justxploring, lottolaughs said kids

Litebets27, good one, and nice 'save

Reply #9

Litebets27 — Sat, 30 Dec 2006 15:50:57 GMT

There once was a man from Nantucket

who bought lottery tickets by the bucket

There, then came a big win

He lost Family and Friends

And now sleeps with a cold, locked Musket

Reply #8

Rick G — Sat, 30 Dec 2006 15:25:50 GMT

There once was a boy named Coin Toss

Who always dreamed of being pit boss.

But then he got bored and finally broke free

And now he just plays lottery.

Reply #7

Rick G — Sat, 30 Dec 2006 15:08:20 GMT

Good one, Coin Toss! I like that.

I would only change the last line to

Doesn't matter, she's still his pick .

Reply #6

lottolaughs — Sat, 30 Dec 2006 15:01:18 GMT

When I saw the title of this thread I said to myself, COIN TOSS! Love your humorous interjections here at the Post! Just what we need after a laborous day of number crunching! Thanks for the laughs,you two! Look forward to these. You kids are great

Reply #5

justxploring — Sat, 30 Dec 2006 08:05:05 GMT

Guess I need to stop trying so hard! Good fit.

Reply #4

Coin Toss — Sat, 30 Dec 2006 07:10:12 GMT

There's a guy on LP named Rick

has a thing for this Chicago chick

she calls the balls as they fall

numbers are off the wall

doesn't matter, she's now his sig

Reply #3

Coin Toss — Sat, 30 Dec 2006 07:03:12 GMT

So now all her numbers are quick picks!

Couldn't resist, didn't fit rhyme-wise, but fit the whole limerick like a glove

Reply #2

justxploring — Sat, 30 Dec 2006 06:52:03 GMT

There once was a lady from Phoenix,

Who wrote all her numbers on Kleenex.

One day she got the flu,

And she blew and she blew,

So now her numbers are

Okay...what else rhymes with Phoenix

Reply #1

justxploring — Sat, 30 Dec 2006 06:49:27 GMT

The problem is that limericks are usually a little off-color and usually start with that man from Nantucket.

There once was a man from Nantucket,

Who bought lottery tickets by the bucket.

He scratched for a decade,

Lost every penny he made,

And then finally said Oh, just f.....

(can't finish this on LP

'Lucky Lotto Limericks'

Coin Toss — Sat, 30 Dec 2006 06:45:21 GMT

Just for fun, to close out the year and bring in the New Year, let's make up some Lucky Lotto Limericks

Justxploring, where are you