Story: Once upon a time an LP member

Reply #125

tntea — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 17:43:20 GMT

The elephant took Bush Jr. away so the Bush family could celebrate with their new found son.

Reply #124

justxploring — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 14:29:48 GMT

.....can someone please put some pants on that chimp

Reply #123

jarasan — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 13:20:50 GMT

And the Monkey said:

You bunch of monkey spankers! Soon you'll have hairy palms as well, but if spanking the monkey makes you feel better, spank on.

Reply #122

LOTTOMIKE — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 11:11:09 GMT

,relax and do this like your long lost brother to relive your stress and sins....

Reply #121

emilyg — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 05:11:35 GMT

at that point a dumb elephant appeared........

Reply #120

Coin Toss — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 04:34:36 GMT

Hillary Clinton and Barck Obama heard about the monkey and started thinking about campaign funds.

Bush Sr saw them coming to his front oor and opened it and said, Hey, the monkey is ok, but NO JACKASSES

Reply #119

justxploring — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 04:09:26 GMT

Reply #118

emilyg — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 02:43:05 GMT

when Daddy Bush discovered the monkey was his son - he was elated and cried - finally, the son I always wanted.

Reply #117

justxploring — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 02:28:54 GMT

Yes! This story is really coming together. The monkey found out George W. is his long lost half brother. After all, he is a bush baby.

(Sorry, Mike will have to post a picture of one...I don't know how to upload pics

Reply #116

tntea — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 02:01:16 GMT

Daddy Bush was beginning to wonder if Bush Jr. belong to him. He was such an idiot to be part of the Bush blood.

Reply #115

jarasan — Sun, 10 Jun 2007 20:32:20 GMT

It is nice to know who your daddy is, and your mama for that matter.

Reply #114

tntea — Sun, 10 Jun 2007 20:28:07 GMT

he said, I don't give a rat's a$$ about your problem, why would I give a cat's a$$ about this?

So Bush cried and called Daddy (As he usually does.

Reply #113

MADDOG10 — Sun, 10 Jun 2007 13:43:09 GMT

So, since he just got his arse burnt, he called on his loyal advisor and this is what he had to say

Reply #112

LOTTOMIKE — Sun, 10 Jun 2007 13:26:21 GMT

LOL,

and he did........

Reply #111

stavros — Sun, 10 Jun 2007 13:12:04 GMT

But, the fleas got into his beard.....

Reply #110

MADDOG10 — Sun, 10 Jun 2007 13:07:34 GMT

since the cat won the lotterywhile she was fiddlin around.. Mr. Bush thought it was high time he got to the botom of this once and for all.....

Reply #109

LOTTOMIKE — Sun, 10 Jun 2007 11:15:24 GMT

this cat just won the lottery......

Reply #108

tntea — Sun, 10 Jun 2007 10:28:58 GMT

They were sentenced to a cat's a$$. This cat had some mean looking claws. They had to be quick to move...

Reply #107

justxploring — Sat, 09 Jun 2007 23:42:38 GMT

But they were arrested for inciting a riot. Must have been all the fiddles because they can promote violins in your behavior.

Reply #106

pacattack05 — Sat, 09 Jun 2007 23:40:02 GMT

Good one Love

Reply #105

pacattack05 — Sat, 09 Jun 2007 23:38:30 GMT

We are officially owned........LOL

Reply #104

justxploring — Sat, 09 Jun 2007 23:37:52 GMT

Yes, no strings attached

Reply #103

justxploring — Sat, 09 Jun 2007 23:37:11 GMT

They won and bought a flea market

Reply #102

pacattack05 — Sat, 09 Jun 2007 23:36:52 GMT

Were they playing a fiddle? Without a license?

Stop fiddling around....I don't belive in this crap. The Govt.s got you owned!...LOL And you don't even know it.

Owned

Reply #101

delores247 — Sat, 09 Jun 2007 23:34:46 GMT

They were playing a fiddle to the tune of For The LOve of Money,The Fleas were so excited about winning the lottery They wanted others to have a chance; so 1 flea told the other fleas to tell the people of lottery post to play 6-9-16-24-39-42 for 10 drawings,,OH What was that?You wouldn't believe what happen next,,,,,,

Reply #100

tntea — Sat, 09 Jun 2007 23:24:11 GMT

The winner was three dancing fleas. They were playing a fiddle..

Reply #99

stavros — Sat, 09 Jun 2007 20:10:06 GMT

which he was luckier at then the lottery....when last heard, he was screaming I picked a winner

Reply #98

tntea — Sat, 09 Jun 2007 20:06:06 GMT

So instead of picking numbers he decide to pick his nose

Reply #97

LOTTOMIKE — Sat, 09 Jun 2007 04:22:47 GMT

i think he got too lonely........

Reply #96

jarasan — Sat, 09 Jun 2007 02:23:45 GMT

Can't a monkey (chimpanzee) have some privacy? He's gonna call PETA.

This is what he is thinking of.

Reply #95

emilyg — Sat, 09 Jun 2007 02:06:06 GMT

Me2

Reply #94

Littleoldlady — Sat, 09 Jun 2007 01:21:36 GMT

Reply #93

lotterybraker — Sat, 09 Jun 2007 01:17:19 GMT

The Monkey was so mad he punched the wall with his left hand and then said ..Well at least my right hand still works ..lol

Reply #92

lotterybraker — Sat, 09 Jun 2007 01:15:08 GMT

Mike nice pics....To Much Man...LOL..LOL..LOL..I am like you pat..I am about to fall out of my chair..LOL

Reply #91

pacattack05 — Sat, 09 Jun 2007 00:49:38 GMT

Monkey see.....Monkey doo

Reply #90

pacattack05 — Sat, 09 Jun 2007 00:48:44 GMT

I'm laughing just as loud as he is.....LOL

Reply #89

LOTTOMIKE — Sat, 09 Jun 2007 00:44:06 GMT

then had a smoke afterwards.....

Reply #88

LOTTOMIKE — Sat, 09 Jun 2007 00:42:30 GMT

but he solved his problems....

Reply #87

LOTTOMIKE — Sat, 09 Jun 2007 00:40:37 GMT

very depressed......

Reply #86

lotterybraker — Sat, 09 Jun 2007 00:35:47 GMT

but the monkey misunderstood what the psychiatrist said...and became depressed...

Reply #85

justxploring — Sat, 09 Jun 2007 00:28:59 GMT

Went to a psychiatrist and asked what was wrong with him. After all, he was jealous of an elephant. So the doctor told him he had peanuts envy

Reply #84

Coin Toss — Sat, 09 Jun 2007 00:24:48 GMT

Then the number-picking monkey, knowing that elephants were good luck, but leery of Tarzan and Jane hooking up again...

Reply #83

tntea — Fri, 08 Jun 2007 14:04:13 GMT

They found Jane riding an elephant up the highway

Reply #82

LOTTOMIKE — Fri, 08 Jun 2007 07:39:07 GMT

it was time for a facelift after all..........

Reply #81

LOTTOMIKE — Fri, 08 Jun 2007 05:07:25 GMT

Reply #80

jarasan — Fri, 08 Jun 2007 03:28:46 GMT

But Jane had a girlfriend.

Reply #79

pacattack05 — Fri, 08 Jun 2007 03:19:17 GMT

Tarzana, California.

Where they.....

Reply #78

jarasan — Fri, 08 Jun 2007 03:17:45 GMT

Arkansas to look for Jane.

Reply #77

Coin Toss — Fri, 08 Jun 2007 03:16:05 GMT

Delaware, a now anonymous state. But the monkey told Tarzan Delaware isn't really a state, it's a corporation, and neither one of them was named Du Pont.

Reply #76

tntea — Fri, 08 Jun 2007 02:43:21 GMT

Tarzan and the monkey got on a plane and flew to.....

Reply #75

tntea — Fri, 08 Jun 2007 02:16:33 GMT

Oh my goodness, this looks like an assistant I had for a few years..

Reply #74

pacattack05 — Fri, 08 Jun 2007 01:31:31 GMT

Weasel very funny Maddog10!

His face is very funny. Got that look...LOL

Reply #73

MADDOG10 — Fri, 08 Jun 2007 00:53:06 GMT

Cavegirl just wanted to know how Jimmy Carta was going to weasel out of this one with her money in tow

Reply #72

pacattack05 — Fri, 08 Jun 2007 00:46:38 GMT

Reply #71

lotterybraker — Fri, 08 Jun 2007 00:36:55 GMT

with a face like this..you might have to Spank the Monkey ...lol

Reply #70

pacattack05 — Fri, 08 Jun 2007 00:36:32 GMT

Reply #69

Coin Toss — Fri, 08 Jun 2007 00:34:59 GMT

Considering the 'girls' in the last few posts Tarzan was smart to take off with Cheetah.

Reply #68

LOTTOMIKE — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 23:50:44 GMT

,cavegirl just came out of hiding to claim her winnings.

Reply #67

pacattack05 — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 23:49:09 GMT

Reply #66

JAP69 — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 23:44:05 GMT

But picking numbers became so easy a cavegirl can do it.

Reply #65

LOTTOMIKE — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 23:37:24 GMT

donald rumsfeld as david bowie,lol

Reply #64

pacattack05 — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 23:34:45 GMT

Reply #63

LOTTOMIKE — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 23:17:26 GMT

,LOL

Reply #62

pacattack05 — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 23:10:17 GMT

Reply #61

pacattack05 — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 23:07:27 GMT

I'm a monkey man.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6sSm4pUOIvs

Reply #60

LOTTOMIKE — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 22:58:54 GMT

president bush won the lottery and got a sex change......

Reply #59

pacattack05 — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 22:52:59 GMT

But remember...any monkey can pick 3 numbers....

Reply #58

pacattack05 — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 22:51:52 GMT

Justxploring, funny.

Mike....WOW! You must have some serious software...LOL.

Reply #57

justxploring — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 22:46:08 GMT

His magic code? He only uses primate numbers!

OMG! I just scrolled up....Mike, that's hysterical!! LMAO.

Reply #56

LOTTOMIKE — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 22:46:04 GMT

yep like paris hilton and a zoo and a......

Reply #55

pacattack05 — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 22:33:04 GMT

But he forgot the 6 Rhesus peanut butter cups.

He's eccentric alright, and he's a swinger to boot. It's just a hairy situation if you ask me. Drinking and Swinging from one bar to another, and meeting other mates. That kind of behavior can put him behind bars...LOL

I tell ya...It's a zoo out there.

Look at Italy Ritz...I mean Paris Hilton...

Reply #54

LOTTOMIKE — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 22:14:49 GMT

...including this millionaire.his name is monkey hughes.he is very eccentric.he only wears green on thursdays and fasts on fridays.he does all his laundry at 4:00 on saturday unless its the third week of the month which is considered bad luck so he must count to 100 backward while eating five peanut butter sandwiches.

Reply #53

Coin Toss — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 22:03:31 GMT

But all the lotto players were very, very upset at the thought of losing this number predicting monkey.

Other monkeys started appearing, promoting themselves as Steve Player Cheetah and Gail Howard Cheetah , but it became obvious that their 'systems' had originated in nothing more than a simian think tank somewhere.

Reply #52

Rick G — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 22:02:55 GMT

Reply #51

pacattack05 — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 22:00:44 GMT

Now he's beating his monkey like it owed him money.

Reply #50

justxploring — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 18:50:02 GMT

He made this statement during his press conference at Lottery Headquarters.

I plan to pay off the mortgage on my vine and invest the rest wisely, so I don't run into financial problems in the future.

He and Cheetah were last spotted happily swinging together somewhere along the Amazon.

Reply #49

tntea — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 18:29:59 GMT

Tarzan grabbed the monkey and headed out the door giving Jane the finger..

Reply #48

Coin Toss — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 17:53:14 GMT

The monkey remembered and asked her about Tarzan. She said, We think he hit a jackpot, he's disappeared, stopped posting, and is believed to be somewhere in some kind of lotto winners protection program.

The last thing anyone here ever remembers him talking about was cash vs annuity, remaining anonymous, and quick picks.

Reply #47

stavros — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 17:49:27 GMT

and catches the monkey and Jane making out.....

Reply #46

Shawn67 — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 17:47:27 GMT

Just then, Tarzan tore through the front door with a scratch-off in his hand......

Reply #45

justxploring — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 17:34:31 GMT

With tears in her eye, it all came back to her, and the clerk shouted with joy Cheetah! It's really you! It's me, Jane

Reply #44

tntea — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 17:29:43 GMT

Then he decided he wanted to see the clerk with the thongs on.. he entered the store again

Reply #43

justxploring — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 17:24:17 GMT

...pulled it over himself and grinded his organ.

Reply #42

tntea — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 17:17:58 GMT

the monkey put the thong over his head

Reply #41

Rick G — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 15:06:32 GMT

...but the monkey looks closer and says, That just might fit me ...

Reply #40

Coin Toss — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 14:29:43 GMT

LOTTOMIKE, Rick G, you guys are killing me!)

After seeing the thong, the monkey thinks of something and says,

Hook me up with Linda Kollmeyer or NO NUMBERS FOR YOU

Reply #39

Rick G — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 14:02:58 GMT

...the monkey leaves the store and spots psyko-ko's car. He jumps behind the wheel, but recoils when he spots an LP thong lying on the passenger seat...

Reply #38

delores247 — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 13:38:02 GMT

this news saddens the monkey so he decides to bargain with psyko-ko for his intended love,he gave psyko-ko the pick 3 of the day,the pick4 and if he could get the clerk to kiss him he would give the lotto and the numbers are ,367 ,,,,3673,now psyko-ko is busy trying to get the clerks attention to the money because he has an agenda he wants to get rich more than he wants the clerk so he sure can use the monkey's help but the monkey leaves the store and .........

Reply #37

x1kosmic — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 13:28:11 GMT

.... but the store clerk already had eyes for psyko-ko,

Reply #36

tntea — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 11:32:45 GMT

The monkey goes with him to buy the tickets and he falls in love with the lottery clerk.

Reply #35

LOTTOMIKE — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 05:33:46 GMT

..........

Reply #34

Coin Toss — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 04:21:33 GMT

Moneky picking numbers = smart monkey

smart car

smart monkey + smart car = .......

Reply #33

LOTTOMIKE — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 19:16:14 GMT

and a good nice vehicle to put them in........fuzzy dice included.

Reply #32

Shawn67 — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 18:43:01 GMT

So he goes back to the drawing board to come up with a better system to win more monkeys....

Reply #31

lotterybraker — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 18:16:58 GMT

and now he wants more monkeys,so they can work on pic 4, pic 5, mega millions..and powerball..

Reply #30

x1kosmic — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 18:12:25 GMT

But it turned out that the monkey knew how to predict numbers

and

Reply #29

lottolaughs — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 17:39:37 GMT

and goes.......bananas

Reply #28

LOTTOMIKE — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 17:20:08 GMT

and then he wins a monkey instead.......

Reply #27

Shawn67 — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 16:56:54 GMT

So he plays 555 online, all-states, until someone from the governmental anti-online-gambling unit show up at his door and seize his assets........

Reply #26

lotterybraker — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 15:50:43 GMT

so now he is totally confused and figues he needs some help..so he puts an emergency phone call into the Psychic Hotline and the lady with the Pink Hair and Crystal ball tells him he should play 555 everyday until he sees it somewhere..this is very good advice I might add...