Good Lottery Jokes? :D

Reply #20

BobP — Sat, 18 Dec 2021 20:22:28 GMT

Q: What is the difference between a lottery play slip and a lottery ticket?

A: Play slips are free and they burn longer.

BobP

https://youtu.be/MQwhsTjVCDE

Reply #19

Pick3master3838 — Tue, 30 Nov 2021 18:56:54 GMT

don't feel bad, I had to read it a few times to get it myself LOL

Reply #18

Karen Nathan — Tue, 30 Nov 2021 16:09:34 GMT

Thank you for explaining the joke to me

Reply #17

Pick3master3838 — Mon, 29 Nov 2021 22:00:45 GMT

It means he didn't tell his wife last night and secretly left on a plane to go somewhere else away from her. And since this joke is probably older because back then they didn't allow phone usage on planes, that's just another excuse not to call his wife.

Reply #16

Karen Nathan — Mon, 29 Nov 2021 21:49:39 GMT

I don't get number 10. (This is the confused emoji, but it looks more sad than confused).

I got a laugh out of My Wife thinks I am gullible and financially irresponsible. I can't wait to see the look on her face when I tell her I won the Nigerian Lottery

Reply #15

BobP — Mon, 29 Nov 2021 20:25:55 GMT

Why is the person we hand over our lottery jackpot winnings to, in the hopes of becoming even richer, called a broker?

BobP

Reply #14

LottoBux — Sat, 13 Nov 2021 16:38:41 GMT

Here's Some I Came Across Online Just Now,

1-My wife said,

If we ever win the lottery, I want you to buy me something compact, shiny, and can go from 0 to 200 in three seconds .

I figured why wait, so I surprised her that night.....

... with a shiny new bathroom scale.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2-Today these things happened:

1. I woke up

2. I went to 7/11

3. I won the lottery

4.... [ More ]

Reply #13

Speler — Sat, 13 Nov 2021 15:50:32 GMT

Or they do just half of the work and get a full month pay, halal-style.

Reply #12

Stat$talker — Sat, 13 Nov 2021 11:32:51 GMT

Reply #11

grwurston — Sat, 13 Nov 2021 07:14:56 GMT

If I won the lottery, I wouldn't be one of those people who immediately quit their jobs.

I'd make my bosses life a living hell for a week or two first.

Reply #10

grwurston — Sat, 13 Nov 2021 07:11:15 GMT

A variation of that. A woman tells her husband, If you ever hit the lottery, I'm gonna take half the money and leave you . He hands her $6 and says, I just won 12 bucks, now get out of here .

Reply #9

Karen Nathan — Sat, 13 Nov 2021 02:34:16 GMT

About that, common Lottery Scam, so many People fall for it, even though they didn't actually play. Common sense should tell them you have to actually play the Lottery to win. If you didn't play, you didn't win.

Reply #8

BobP — Fri, 12 Nov 2021 22:07:17 GMT

Burrrrr Burrrrr

Congratulations you've won the Macrosoft Lottery!

To be scammed in English press one now.

I press one.

Congratulations Sir or Madam, on your winning the Macrosoft lottery!

This is agent Sphinctor. I'll be needing your credit card

number, date of birth and security code.

Can you please spell your name.

S p h i n c t o r

Thanks, I thought you said something else. Why do you

need my credit card?

Taxes must be paid before the Prize Posse can deliver y... [ More ]

Reply #7

Stat$talker — Fri, 12 Nov 2021 17:23:28 GMT

..soundz like THAT was some superb White Lightning ..!

Where can I git a pint , ta go wit my Cigarz?..Then I'll have Thunder Lightning..

Reply #6

rdgrnr — Fri, 12 Nov 2021 16:45:39 GMT

Two Kentucky hicks are settin' on the front porch sippin' shine.

A big ol' semi goes by with a load of rolled up sod.

Cletus: I'm gonna do that when I win the lottery.

Buford: What?

Cletus: Have my grass sent out to get cut.

Reply #5

Stat$talker — Fri, 12 Nov 2021 05:24:15 GMT

He says I don't care. Just get out.

We can imagine what an expensive statement THAT wus of hiz..!!.. az I'm sure it costed him HALF of the afta Taxes lottery prize's TAKE HOME amount..

Reply #4

Stat$talker — Fri, 12 Nov 2021 05:18:07 GMT

Reply #3

cottoneyedjoe — Fri, 12 Nov 2021 04:40:36 GMT

What's cheaper and faster than using a DNA service to find long lost relatives?

Posting on Facebook that you just won the lottery.

Reply #2

Original Bey — Fri, 12 Nov 2021 03:42:13 GMT

A man comes home from work

and tells his wife Pack your bags, I just hit the lottery. His wife says Oh that's wonderful. Should I pack for the mountains or the beach? He says I don't care. Just get out.

Reply #1

grwurston — Fri, 12 Nov 2021 03:33:57 GMT

Every year Tom enters the lottery at the state fair but since he never wins he decides to give it up. What kind of attitude is that? says his friend Harry. What you need is faith. Look around and see if the Lord sends you a message . Tom walks around looking for a sign but receives no divine intervention.

Finally he passes by an old lady's pie stand and sees her bending over. Suddenly a finger of fire appears in the air and etches a seven on each of the old lady's buttocks. Tom rushes to the... [ More ]

Good Lottery Jokes? :D

Karen Nathan — Thu, 11 Nov 2021 16:12:08 GMT

Here is an example of a two in one Good Lottery Joke. On another Website, there was a Lottery Joke Thread.

A 45 year old Mother won 10 Million before taxes and fees in the Lottery. She put all her take home Winnings in her 18 year old Son's Harvard University Tuition for 4 years. She still owes $10,000!

The reply was, You misunderstood this Thread. These are supposed to be JOKES, not real life Non Fiction