Lotto Jokes

Reply #22

GiveFive — Thu, 28 Dec 2023 13:00:48 GMT

What do they call the guy who graduated last in his class at medical school?

DOCTOR

Reply #21

BobP — Thu, 28 Dec 2023 06:29:52 GMT

What do you call a small brown mammal with a broad flat tail that wins the lottery? Millionaire beaver.

BobP

Big fire above, big water below, what am I? Volcanic (Hawaiian) island.

Reply #20

Stat$talker — Thu, 28 Dec 2023 04:36:57 GMT

Whussupp Playa Hater

Reply #19

KY Floyd — Wed, 27 Dec 2023 22:52:39 GMT

That was almost as bad as your math.

Reply #18

Stat$talker — Wed, 27 Dec 2023 18:41:03 GMT

Ookay , naah MY turn...

Why did the Motorist ask the Police Officer who'd stopped'im for speeding, to tear up the ticket he wuz writing him?...

Becauze the Motorist refuted the Officer'z claim that he'd broken the Law....az he cited and pointed out another Cop pullin over another speeding Motorist...

He said.. See Officer, the Law iz still working fine, so , I didn't break it...

Reply #17

LottoBux — Thu, 21 Dec 2023 14:05:09 GMT

Some Older LP Joke Threads

2008

Not too many of these members still around from those days.

God bless 'em all

Lottery Jokes | Lottery Post

https://www.lotterypost.com/thread/180784

2021

Good Lottery Jokes ? :D | Lottery Post

https://www.lotterypost.com/thread/338765

Reply #16

wander73 — Wed, 20 Dec 2023 17:13:40 GMT

My turn

Why did the man put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold hard cash! What do you call a lottery winner who has lost everything? A has-been-a-millionaire. Why did the man refuse to play the lottery? He didn t want to gamble on his future. What do you call a person who wins the lottery and then loses it all? A lottery ticket. Why did the man win the lottery and then break up with his girlfriend? He wanted to be a lone winner. What do you call a person who wins the lottery and t... [ More ]

Reply #15

wander73 — Wed, 20 Dec 2023 17:12:22 GMT

That is kind of funny. Let me see what chat g petey has.

Reply #14

AllenB — Mon, 18 Dec 2023 22:57:12 GMT

For the first time in years, I did not make it in time to play my $20 Lottery Ticket and guess What?

I saved $20.

I recorded last week's lottery and, knowing the result, bought my wife a ticket for Wednesday's draw.

When she thinks she's won she'll have a heart-attack.

That'll get her back for burning my toast.

Reply #13

Wavepack — Mon, 18 Dec 2023 22:24:40 GMT

Over $807M in Powerball ticket sales in the latest run-up. Cash amount of current jackpot is $272M

Reply #12

Lotterologist — Mon, 18 Dec 2023 07:52:17 GMT

Some people reading my first joke might think of women as victims .

My second joke shows that men are often victims too.

Reply #11

Lotterologist — Mon, 18 Dec 2023 03:17:34 GMT

LOL! That was to balance out my male chauvinist joke

Reply #10

Stat$talker — Mon, 18 Dec 2023 00:14:13 GMT

Oooooo..naah THAT wuz below the belt...you shoulda known the Guyz wuzzn't gonna like that one..

Reply #9

grwurston — Sun, 17 Dec 2023 23:46:52 GMT

What's the best way to find long lost relatives? Win the lottery.

Reply #8

grwurston — Sun, 17 Dec 2023 23:14:14 GMT

An oldie but goodie.

Woman says to her husband, if you ever hit the lottery I'm taking half the money and leaving you.

Husband replies, I just won $10. Here's 5, start packing.

Reply #7

Lotterologist — Sun, 17 Dec 2023 20:27:31 GMT

What time does Lorena Bobbitt usually play her numbers?

Right before cutoff time.

Reply #6

Lotterologist — Sun, 17 Dec 2023 18:31:55 GMT

What does a cheating wife and a lottery winner have in common?

They both get a hit.

Reply #5

Brock Lee — Sat, 16 Dec 2023 07:15:44 GMT

a traveler passes by a farm and sees a sign that says talking dog for sale $20. curious to see a talking dog, he stops and asks the farmer if the dog really talks. farmer says, go ask him yourself. the traveler asks the dog, what is your name and how did you learn to talk?

the dog says, my name is jack and i'm not really sure how i learned to talk. i was a seeing eye dog for a blind man when one day he won the lottery. after that, we traveled the world together, mingled with cultured folks,... [ More ]

Reply #4

KY Floyd — Sat, 16 Dec 2023 05:33:41 GMT

Did you hear about MUSL's PB forecast for a rollover?

The annuity will increase by $8 million but the cash value will only go up $4 million .

Reply #3

Sum Buddy — Sat, 16 Dec 2023 00:06:33 GMT

What Lottery Post member is named after a vegetable?

Brock Lee

Reply #2

Brock Lee — Fri, 15 Dec 2023 22:50:00 GMT

did you hear about the north korea $5 million lottery? you get $5 a year for a million years.

Reply #1

lottobrain — Fri, 15 Dec 2023 20:18:26 GMT

You have opened the door for Brock Lee! Lol.

Lotto Jokes

Wavepack — Fri, 15 Dec 2023 18:09:34 GMT

What's a fat lotto player's idea of fast paced exercise?

Quick picks.