A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "Sorry, we don't serve food in here."

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

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Definition of a Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary!

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Man who run in front of car get tired.

Man who run behind car get exhausted.

Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
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The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content.
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What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
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My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
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A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
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Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values. Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?"

Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, What was her maiden name?"
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A Georgia State trooper pulls over a pickup on I-95 and says to the driver, "Got any I.D.?" The driver replies "Bout wut?"
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A Georgia man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only 2 minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?", the doctor asked. "No ya dummy" the man shouted, "This is her Husband!"
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How do you get holy water?
  Boil the hell out of it.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
  Anyone can roast beef.

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A little boy asked his father, " Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

Young son: "Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad: "That happens in every country, son."
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