'I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a chit zu.'

A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, ''But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.''   

There's two fish in a tank, and one says ''How do you drive this thing?''           

Slept like a log last night........ Woke up in the fireplace.       

A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, ''Is this some kind of joke?''

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. ''But why?'' they asked, as they moved off. ''because,'' he said ''I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.''

I tried water polo but my horse drowned.