The United States Postal problem has gone” postal”. Nuts! And getting nuttier.

Simple solution:

The traditional letter carrier should be placed on our borders, yesterday! To patrol them, they are used to walking anyway. Right? And this is more important than “Junk mail” (Mostly “Junk mail”, I swear to it)

It’s not 1980 anymore. We have electronic and internet banking now. (Very reliable for you nervous Nellies and Neds. Trust me on that.)

Since we do have said electronic and internet banking now, I am pretty sure that most of you utilize it. Which I am sure that you do because I observe. Every inner city ATM is drained practically by 1 AM. (On the first) You are allowed to reel in your government “peel off” at the stroke of Midnight. That tells me that you do.

I am almost positive that the Letter carriers don’t have to deal with the boatload of government checks that needed delivered like in years past. Our borders need you now and I am pretty sure that the ATF will train you in the use of a weapon. (You already have the Clearance to handle U.S. Mail, so I think handling a weapon will be easier for you. There is only one of them, and not a million pieces of mail, mostly “Junk mail” I swear to it)

The main post offices will remain open, if you really need your “junk mail” (mostly “junk mail”, I swear to it)

Go for a nice walk. It will benefit you, but you may be disappointed, most likely “junk mail”…I swear to it.

Coupons most likely and you can print those off online now. It’s 2014, not 1970.

Two Birds with one stone, but who am I.

Just a numbers guy.

I know that the idea above will never happen, but something similar needs to.

We have to think outside the box. It is “crunch time!”

And has been” crunch time” for a while.