Tabloid lottery headlines

Reply #48

Coin Toss — Sat, 30 Jun 2012 20:07:22 GMT

Epistrophy, Thanks, he was very interesting to talk to. Just as a thought, have you ever tried accupuncture or accupressure for your back?

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Tabloid headline:

Illinois man cracks the code , back tests show winners in every game every day. However he had just signed up for the Illinois lottery's exclusion program, in essence barring himself from collecting any winnings, or sending in a beard to collect for him.

As he announces plans to move to anot... [ More ]

Reply #47

sully16 — Sat, 23 Jun 2012 03:52:34 GMT

WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE.

Reply #46

Epistrophy — Fri, 22 Jun 2012 23:56:25 GMT

Coin,

That is unbelievably cool that you actually got to talk with him. I've had my share of relatively minor (compared to him) back problems over the years, but that poor guy was always fighting a battle against debilitating back pain. That makes his radio accomplishments and his upbeat attitude even more impressive.

I'll have to find a way to work 720 into some lotto numbers for KDWN-720.

Reply #45

Coin Toss — Fri, 22 Jun 2012 23:17:42 GMT

Epistrophy,

KDWN, the Vegas radio station he used to broadcast from, is (at least was) on the mezzanine of the hotel - casino where I worked. Once in a while if I got off early I'd go upstairs and talk to him before he went on the air.

I remember once he told me that on his talk radio job, the clock was still an adversary, but not in a clock watching sense, but in a sense of he had all this material he's want to talk about and the time had just flown by and the program was ending for the n... [ More ]

Reply #44

Epistrophy — Fri, 22 Jun 2012 21:23:02 GMT

Now THAT could be an Art Bell story. When I worked a late schedule years ago, I would enjoy listening to the lunacy from the kingdom of Nye as I drove home. He had an entertaining radio show.

Reply #43

Coin Toss — Fri, 22 Jun 2012 19:55:03 GMT

Preacher reads book on remote viewing, starts posting second hymn in red letters, not white. Congregation starts playing that number and goes on incredible winning streak hiting the Sunday evening Pick 3.

Reply #42

GASMETERGUY — Fri, 22 Jun 2012 00:24:14 GMT

Lottery winner dies. Still has every dollar he won. Family to offer reward for Swiss bank account number.

Reply #41

maximumfun — Thu, 21 Jun 2012 23:09:13 GMT

LOL

Reply #40

Epistrophy — Thu, 21 Jun 2012 21:12:10 GMT

Man buys Advance Play tickets and wins next 4 Mega Millions jackpots

Reply #39

maximumfun — Thu, 21 Jun 2012 02:24:31 GMT

LOL - ok i read about Titor... very interesting indeed.

Reply #38

Coin Toss — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 22:04:41 GMT

Art Bell, former host of Coast To Coast AM radio, said he believed that jackcpot winners were time travelers.

John Titor returns once again to say Bell was right!

(Bell actually said this...and for fun, do a search for John titor and see what you find

Reply #37

maximumfun — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 17:50:25 GMT

And in related news: a 21 year old, after stumbling out of a bar at lunch, found 4 quarters on the ground and decided on a hunch to buy 1 quick pick for the 3.2 BILLION dollar MegaMillions jackpot - his FIRST lottery ticket ever - and was the sole winner of the jackpot. Asked what he was planning on doing with what could potentially be quite a largess - he replied in a drunken slur - 'more beer, gotta buy more beer - beer makes you lucky at the lottery'.

Reply #36

Coin Toss — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 15:32:19 GMT

Man claims he has been apending $250 on jackpot games, says he is convinced they are rigged but will continue to spend the $250 a week on them.

Reply #35

cheryl59 — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 14:56:22 GMT

LOL

Reply #34

mcginnin56 — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 14:32:51 GMT

Abe Lincoln would be proud to hear of this amazing progress, since his Emancipation Proclamation! Rock on 3 year olds.

Reply #33

maximumfun — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 14:17:53 GMT

News flash: 3 year old wins PB... sues parents for emancipation status

Reply #32

mcginnin56 — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 14:07:28 GMT

In an effort to boost slipping Powerball sales, executives are now allowing minors to purchase tickets. The hottest age bracket they are

targeting is the 3-12 year olds. This will give new meaning to the phrase Baby Boomers .

Reply #31

maximumfun — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 13:52:57 GMT

In eco-sensitive move, lottery makes new tickets out of self-decomposing materials. Unfortunately, the shelf life of the ticket and the amount of time lotteries allow to collect now do not run concurrently. Tickets now last 31 days, which is a sad shot short of the 1 year many state lotteries allow to collect. The clock now ticks waiting for the first lawsuit.

Reply #30

cheryl59 — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 13:45:44 GMT

LOL.....ya'll know you have been there before

Reply #29

sully16 — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 13:38:14 GMT

Man thinks he is winner, but ticket in question is 2 weeks old.

Reply #28

cheryl59 — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 13:28:13 GMT

Fashion Designer makes millions making clothing from non-winning lottery tickets

Reply #27

savagegoose — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 11:15:02 GMT

Church refuses winning mega million ticket, State pollies, vote themselves a pay raise

Reply #26

Coin Toss — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 05:11:02 GMT

Clerk in Texas named Patel tells jackpot winner ticket won $12, then calls lotto commission to fins out where to cash ticket.

Upon hearing the name Patel and seeing surveillance film (Patel didn't know about) Patel is told to drive from Houston to Austin with I Hate Guns bumper stickers on his rear bumper.

Reply #25

lincolnAbe — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 03:06:38 GMT

Pakistani tourist wins $300,000,000.00 PowerBall jackpot while visiting NY... then donates all winnings to US Marines

Reply #24

mcginnin56 — Sat, 16 Jun 2012 23:46:13 GMT

It was actually one of Linda's assistants, Rhonda Burham. She loved all that tumbling, especially since she was the last ball drawn.

Reply #23

Coin Toss — Sat, 16 Jun 2012 23:38:14 GMT

Hopefully that was Linda Kollmeier of the Illinois Lottery

Reply #22

maximumfun — Sat, 16 Jun 2012 22:51:34 GMT

LOL - sick but funny.

Reply #21

JonnyBgood07 — Sat, 16 Jun 2012 22:22:38 GMT

Jeffrey Dahmer eats winning Powerball ticket... along with wallet and the winners legs.

Reply #20

mcginnin56 — Sat, 16 Jun 2012 22:16:36 GMT

In a freak of nature, last evenings Powerball drawing was interrupted by a freak tornado. All the lottery balls were sucked out of the drawing bins.

In order to keep to its strict schedule, the balls had to be substituted for actual lottery employees, who had numbers painted on their backsides.

It was a whole lot of fun, exclaimed on of the lucky drawn employees (#4 White ball). Were talking to management to see if this is something we

could do more often.

Reply #19

maximumfun — Sat, 16 Jun 2012 21:54:39 GMT

MM PB break all probability by drawing the same numbers for their white balls AGAIN (3rd time in 2012).

Reply #18

Coin Toss — Sat, 16 Jun 2012 20:44:33 GMT

The same number drawn six times on latest Powerball.......

MUSL says the best anyone could have done is 1 + 1. Lotto tin hats say this was why 0 + 1 and 1 + 1 were changed to same payout.

Reply #17

Lucky5of5 — Sat, 16 Jun 2012 05:47:59 GMT

Church congregation wins 2nd largest PB jackpot, just days after listening to a sermon on one of the seven deadly sins: greed.

Reply #16

Lucky Loser — Sat, 16 Jun 2012 02:01:32 GMT

ANTI-GAMBLING ACTIVIST SCRATCHES OFF $1 MILLION TOP PRIZE!!! FUTURE PLANS ARE TO WRITE A BOOK ON HOW TO WIN THE LOTTERY

Reply #15

maximumfun — Fri, 15 Jun 2012 23:12:09 GMT

Reply #14

Coin Toss — Fri, 15 Jun 2012 23:03:09 GMT

MegaMillions says it has no explanation for all the balls drawn last Friday being Roman Numerals and not numbers.

Reply #13

maximumfun — Fri, 15 Jun 2012 04:14:56 GMT

Original Post by Coin Toss

CBS planned new lottery sitcom. Had to cancel when people who didn't get a role in the cast wanted to be paid anyway.

LOLOL

Reply #12

Coin Toss — Fri, 15 Jun 2012 04:12:00 GMT

Good stuff folks, maximumfun, L.L. those posts really showed some thought and effort. Haymaker, very clever!

A few more:

Both PB and MM confirm on average 12 to 15 jackpots hit a year.

Both PB and MM also confirm on average 70,000 to 75,000 people a year claim to have hit those jackpots!

CBS planned new lottery sitcom. Had to cancel when people who didn't get a role in the cast wanted to be paid anyway.

Reply #11

haymaker — Thu, 14 Jun 2012 23:36:29 GMT

Hawaii winner claims to own half of nevada ticket,

Nevada winner claims to own half on utah ticket.,

Utah winners and someone from mississippi claim half on bama ticket,

Alaska group claims 50% pool in all 4 states.

No one seems to know if steve player is real (given the name)

confused judge w/ headache awards all wins to someone in wyoming named Steve the playa

Reply #10

mcginnin56 — Thu, 14 Jun 2012 22:18:25 GMT

Great story L.L.! Wonder how many times that has actually happened? I always buy mistake tickets whenever I spot the opportunity.

Reply #9

Lucky Loser — Thu, 14 Jun 2012 22:09:53 GMT

Man visits his favorite convenience store to purchase his regular lottery tickets. Upon reviewing his tickets, which were QP's, he notices that one of his tickets contains mostly repeating numbers and becomes very angered. He complained to the clerk and refused to pay for the set of tickets. The clerk simply replied, Sir, once I print out the tickets I cannot take them back...and you must pay for them. I'm very sorry about the repetitive numbers . Well, I'm not paying for this bogus set of ticke... [ More ]

Reply #8

djklaugh — Thu, 14 Jun 2012 18:19:32 GMT

Heads I win, tails you lose. The coin toss lands heads up - LP regular a big winner!

IRS is confused - alien from Mars wins jackpot - what should the IRS charge for taxes?

I had the winning ticket but my goldfish ate it

Mom gives birth to quints - each baby born clutching a lottery ticket. Oh that's where I hid them , says Mom.

Karma bomb hits jackpot winner - court says winner has to share jackpot with all 1,204 people on FB friends list because winner posted a... [ More ]

Reply #7

Coin Toss — Thu, 14 Jun 2012 15:41:43 GMT

Powerball says four winners hit record jackpot, one in Utah, one in Nevada, one in Alabama, and one in Hawaii.

Fortune cookie company says their biggest client is Steve Player

Reply #6

maximumfun — Thu, 14 Jun 2012 12:13:12 GMT

In a freak lottery win - 2,783 players from all across the US all had the winning combination. Expecting the link to be a fortune cookie, lottery officials are amazed to find the common link was Lottery Post - THE leading online Lottery website. (Each winner will take home 7,300$ of the 30M$ jackpot)

Lottery pool success story: all 9 member of the Morris Plains, NJ pool agree to donate 1/10 of their ticket winnings to the local highschool for enrichment programs.

During a wackadoo moment

Reply #5

mcginnin56 — Thu, 14 Jun 2012 10:07:08 GMT

Last evenings lone Iowa winner of the $241 million Powerball jackpot came forward. She revealed that she had been a long time member of the

Lottery Post , an online lottery discussion and prediction site. Still in shock from her big win, she indicated that all regular members would be

upgraded to Platinum status immediately. Merry Christmas to all my LP friends she sang

Reply #4

mrylndw — Thu, 14 Jun 2012 09:30:26 GMT

Powerball Winner Shares $500 Million With Entire 6 Block Neighborhood

Reply #3

mcginnin56 — Thu, 14 Jun 2012 09:17:27 GMT

Maryland's self-proclaimed MM's Bonanza winner, Mirlande Wilson declares she will continue fighting to claim her share of the record

$656 million jackpot.

She continues to insist that the real winning ticket, is still hidden somewhere in the former McDonald's she once worked at. The franchise owner of

that McDonald's also declared, that if indeed she could produce that winning ticket, Mirlande would be entitled to a free lifetime supply of McNuggets.

Reply #2

Artemis — Thu, 14 Jun 2012 05:33:16 GMT

Those bearing Patel surname banned from playing lottery

Reply #1

RedStang — Thu, 14 Jun 2012 05:03:42 GMT

Man buys winning lotto ticket while sleep walking.

Tabloid lottery headlines

Coin Toss — Thu, 14 Jun 2012 04:23:19 GMT

A post maximum fun made about episodes of lottery fairy tales LP style gave me an idea.

Let's have some fun and make up tabloid lottery headlines or stories.

Here's a few for starters:

Powerball says all combinations played but no winner! Oklahoma math professor perfects times travel, hits jackpot, lottery commission says he's cheating. Steve Player admits he doesn't exist! LP's very own Pumpi appointed Russian lotto czar, outlaws vodka Lottery official admits some numbers left out of... [ More ]