My husband's brother won the lottery but hasn't offered to help us out.

Reply #81

kandi49 — Tue, 13 Oct 2015 22:03:35 GMT

the answer to the million dollar question is if the two brothers r in good standard the h with what anyone think r say

Reply #80

RJOh — Tue, 13 Oct 2015 21:48:38 GMT

I'm surprised someone hasn't started a thread My neighbor won the lottery but hasn't offered to help any of us neighbors .

For a while threads about How much is appropriate to give the clerks at the store where you brought your winning ticket were popular.

Reply #79

music* — Tue, 13 Oct 2015 21:02:25 GMT

ThatScaryChick Congratulations to you for having a six-page Lottery Discussion. With 79 replies and 10,795 views.

Good Luck to all LP Members

Reply #78

Slick Nick — Wed, 07 Oct 2015 13:29:04 GMT

Not all families are close It's the choice of the winner how and what he does with his money.

Reply #77

music* — Wed, 30 Sep 2015 21:46:14 GMT

Where will your fair weather friends be when you need them ? Your genuine friends are few and rare gems.

I am learning from athletes who could not say, NO .

Even the Bible says, There is one who is closer then a brother. That is one and not many.

Reply #76

HoLeeKau — Wed, 23 Sep 2015 23:41:39 GMT

Greedy and cheap is what you'll be called. If you can't accept that, maybe not yet winning has been a Godsend for you. There are far too many broke-but-used-to-be-a-millionaire people walking around today, who have nothing because they didn't want to be labeled as stingy, or greedy or cheap.

Yep, you're probably right Teddi, that if I had won when I was in my 20's I'd probably be broke now because most of my self-worth relied on what others thought of me. I've always been good with mone... [ More ]

Reply #75

Teddi — Wed, 23 Sep 2015 17:44:21 GMT

Remember the saying money doesn't change you, it changes everyone around you . When you come into a lot of money, be prepared that someone is going to call you greedy for not giving them what they want all the time. Greedy and cheap is what you'll be called. If you can't accept that, maybe not yet winning has been a Godsend for you. There are far too many broke-but-used-to-be-a-millionaire people walking around today, who have nothing because they didn't want to be labeled as stingy, or greedy o... [ More ]

Reply #74

CashCrown — Tue, 22 Sep 2015 16:10:16 GMT

Hmmmm. I read about many Lotto winners saying The worst thing was helping ONE and then the others said What about me or us?

Most of them say Don't do it because it's never enough. But, does it depend on how much they won or does it get down to the individual?

I just know that GUILT would drive me nuts if I didn't help my Bro and my Parents - they've helped me when I needed it. Karma, anyone?

I just know that when I die, I'd rather they say He was generous when luck found him , ins... [ More ]

Reply #73

Coin Toss — Mon, 21 Sep 2015 23:49:38 GMT

I know this was something seen on Dear Prudence but I was thinking by now there would have been an update: My ex-husband's brother won the lottery but hasn't offered to help us out.

Reply #72

Teddi — Mon, 21 Sep 2015 03:23:25 GMT

Do you REALLY think a lottery winner will be able to keep the news a secret from their family?

Depends on how close you are to your family.

If Warren Buffett's children could be duped enough that they didn't know their parents were multi-billionaires until they were older, I don't see any reason why a lottery winner wouldn't be able to keep that secret to him or her self. If the lotteries were anonymous, all a person would have to do is allude to a windfall to explain away an influx of m... [ More ]

Reply #71

myturn — Sun, 20 Sep 2015 08:24:29 GMT

At least the winners should get the choice, if they would like to tell family members about their good fortune. Publishing the name of the winners for the whole country to know is very dangerous.

Reply #70

HoLeeKau — Sat, 19 Sep 2015 21:41:03 GMT

Yep, if a good friend or close relative is at least buying tickets, I'd consider giving them some. But if they expect me to fork it over without them ever investing a dollar into a win of their own to share with ME, I can't foresee wanting to share mine with them.

Reply #69

gvpazkn — Sat, 19 Sep 2015 19:33:26 GMT

You have the opportunity to buy a ticket and win just like your brother did.

Reply #68

RJOh — Sat, 19 Sep 2015 17:00:37 GMT

I would have done that for them ...we even talked about it!

You've learned a lesson, never tell you friends if you ever get a large sum of money you will give them some because you won't.

Reply #67

myturn — Sat, 19 Sep 2015 12:17:38 GMT

What does she mean by help us out

Reply #66

Tialuvslotto — Sun, 13 Sep 2015 11:16:20 GMT

Reply #65

Goseahawks — Sun, 13 Sep 2015 04:47:40 GMT

do u have a system that work in idaho....if its ok, would u share it with me for washington st, since we are neighbors..thks,,,goseahawks

Reply #64

ALX — Sat, 12 Sep 2015 16:01:05 GMT

I have a friend who won $5 million and gets a check for @ $180,000 for 20 years. He used to say If I you see a limo pull up to your door..you'll know I won the lottery . Well, I never saw a limo. Buys himself a new $80k suv every couple of years, paid off his house and his son's and has everything new and just so. I get offered his hand me down stuff when he updates. He's still the cheap guy he always was and is reluctant to buy when we go out to eat. I've got another friend who inherited a lot... [ More ]

Reply #63

Scratch$ — Sat, 05 Sep 2015 23:11:42 GMT

The article may indeed be phony. If genuine, I agree with those who say the wife is the greediest one. Her husband may have already gotten some money that he isn't telling her about.

Reply #62

Redd55 — Sat, 05 Sep 2015 19:13:12 GMT

Stories like these tend to be fake. An editor assigns a writer to compose something provocative. It can backfire, too. I had an acquaintance who wrote an article which I knew wasnt true but was then picked up by the media and numerous websites resulting in her being called everything under the sun and death threats.

Reply #61

mypiemaster — Sat, 05 Sep 2015 07:15:57 GMT

This entitlement mentality is making some people lose perspective of what true reality is. It is his money, not your money. He won the money, you did not. It's up to him, not you to decide who gets a handout. Entitlement mentality is destroying our ability to reason objectively. If the roles were reversed, would she be handing this individual $hitload of money? Some peoples kids!!!.

Reply #60

HoLeeKau — Fri, 04 Sep 2015 19:17:23 GMT

The wife wrote: He and my husband have a good relationship and speak often.

Reply #59

mypiemaster — Fri, 04 Sep 2015 18:35:46 GMT

So, $hit happens!!!.

Reply #58

TinkerMazell — Fri, 04 Sep 2015 17:14:08 GMT

The article doesn't say whether or not the brothers are close. Maybe they are not. It does say they are close in age.

Reply #57

PlayToWin47 — Fri, 04 Sep 2015 03:46:00 GMT

I find the story a bit hard to believe. The brother supposedly won $50 million... If they were close, I can't imagine the brother not being willing to help out a bit ... or at least offering to do so. Even a measly couple of million or so would help out tremendously, and would be a drop in the bucket compared to the 50.

I haven't even won big yet, but am looking forward to passing along some to my brother and sister, which is where I would draw the line. I would have, of course, included my p... [ More ]

Reply #56

RJOh — Sat, 22 Aug 2015 16:36:44 GMT

Look what happened when Gloria of Florida won her PB jackpot, the local news paper wrote articles about people claiming to be line when she stepped ahead of them to buy that winning ticket as if they should have shared her winnings.

Reply #55

RJOh — Wed, 19 Aug 2015 04:12:55 GMT

When I play a set of numbers they belong to me and who else played them regardless of who think they own them. If they snooze they lose.

Reply #54

Teddi — Wed, 19 Aug 2015 00:20:53 GMT

I know a lot of people want to come down on the brother who won the lottery, but knowledge is power, and we certainly don't know the whole story here. Prudence gave bad advice. It isn't the writer's brother. She has no business asking him for anything. If she and the BIL close, she would have said something to him directly by now. So there's that.

The one question I would ask this lady is right off the bat is, why, in the past 5 years, have you never asked your husband about it? It's obvious... [ More ]

Reply #53

Stack47 — Tue, 18 Aug 2015 18:00:26 GMT

Of course, but probably in a larger proportion than real relatives believing they own a piece of a jackpot because some LP members believe they are the owners of several number combinations.

Reply #52

RJOh — Tue, 18 Aug 2015 14:22:48 GMT

I wonder if LP members who refer to other LP members as family would feel the same way if they knew one of us had won a large jackpot.

Reply #51

MonEl — Tue, 18 Aug 2015 05:59:13 GMT

I guess that now each of his 1000 relatives are waiting for his money.

Reply #50

dr65 — Tue, 18 Aug 2015 02:51:26 GMT

There could be a number of reasons he didn't help. Help by the wife's definition might

mean something else. Maybe she is the reason the winner won't just write a blank check.

He might have helped often and well.

Why is she writing? Because it's HER problem, that's why. People tend to exaggerate need

when they find out someone close has money. Who knows if the brother was helped and

is satisfied with the help he got. Maybe she is the envious one to a point of contempt.

Many peop... [ More ]

Reply #49

myturn — Tue, 18 Aug 2015 02:33:47 GMT

Publicity puts pressure on winners to share a win with relatives. If the winner is not good at financial management, relatives can take advantage.

I like the UK Lottery's policy of allowing winners to remain anonymous and offering winners financial advice. US state lotteries should adopt such sensible policies.

Reply #48

zinniagirl — Tue, 18 Aug 2015 00:34:42 GMT

Once a frm grl, always a farm girl

Reply #47

mikeintexas — Tue, 18 Aug 2015 00:34:32 GMT

My family - the greedy ones and those who bugged me about sharing it w/ them - would come to know the word No .

Reply #46

mikeintexas — Tue, 18 Aug 2015 00:28:02 GMT

I probably could too, but I wouldn't keep it a secret from some of my family, (because I'd give them some money) and if I told some of them, the rest would know eventually Do you really think that someone could keep it a secret from their spouse and children? Someone - esp. young children - would let it slip and then the secret is outta the bag.

Sounds like you want much the same as I would if I won.

Reply #45

HoLeeKau — Tue, 18 Aug 2015 00:25:46 GMT

Me too. My family would never know.

Reply #44

zinniagirl — Tue, 18 Aug 2015 00:15:42 GMT

Would be very easy for me to, if cla imed anonymously. Dont csre to travel, dont care to oarty, just want a lttle farm to retire to and watch the grass grow. Nothing out of my routine... My family lives all over the country so why would they know

Reply #43

mikeintexas — Mon, 17 Aug 2015 23:42:37 GMT

That's an ignorant thing to say. Do you REALLY think a lottery winner will be able to keep the news a secret from their family? Good grief.

Reply #42

SilverLion — Mon, 17 Aug 2015 22:18:41 GMT

What kind of help are they looking for?

A 15 million dollar house or for all debts to be paid?

he has more money than he could spend in a dozen lifetimes

Perhaps he does.

There must be something that happened to the brothers at some time. Also,

How does the slate person know it was a QP? There is no mention of that in the letter. (RED FLAG

Reply #41

RedStang — Mon, 17 Aug 2015 16:24:24 GMT

The wife has to be desperate to write a letter. If her husband had a successful business before she was probably use to buying what ever she wanted. My guess is the other brother was always frowned upon and now the roles have reversed.

Reply #40

jjtheprince — Mon, 17 Aug 2015 12:40:37 GMT

The brother should buy tickets for his brother that needs help and win a jackpot for him! It's that easy! No winner can ever lose, it's not possible

Reply #39

myturn — Mon, 17 Aug 2015 11:35:18 GMT

This a a very good reason why winners should be allowed to remain anonymous. Winners find some relatives expect help . Some winners go broke helping others.

Reply #38

cbr$ — Mon, 17 Aug 2015 01:03:55 GMT

These brother came from the same places, now if before the win the other brother never asked for help why ask now? The wife is having a issues with this arrangement not the brothers. If this wife was to go to the brother about the other brother money issue; The first question that going to go through his brother mind is why are you telling me this not my brother? Honestly I believe that if the other brother really wanted his brother help he could ask for himself. If these brothers are close the

Reply #37

basil19 — Sun, 16 Aug 2015 22:56:12 GMT

If it has been five years and they are still close, he already got his part of the share and didn't tell his wife don't be surprised if that's the case , ive heard of husbands winning millions and gotten divorce or disappeared before the wife finds out .

Reply #36

Funtimz — Sun, 16 Aug 2015 09:21:54 GMT

Reply #35

mypiemaster — Sun, 16 Aug 2015 03:20:02 GMT

If they fail or crash and burn, they blame you for not giving them enough money, so it's now your fault that they did not succeed.

Reply #34

Number19King — Sun, 16 Aug 2015 01:39:17 GMT

This is so real and Glad to see so many are saying he had the right to do as he pleases. A person as myself who has and understands wealth knows that everyone else doesn't due to choices they have made. Money does not help a person who doesn't understand how it works. Example I can teach a man to fish and he can eat a lifetime or I can give him a fish and he only eats day!!! You can criple a person and make them worst off then where they where....I know first hand

Reply #33

noise-gate — Sat, 15 Aug 2015 22:56:26 GMT

Bingo : What bothers me is that she has gone public with her complaints.

: This woman is a Cancer.

Reply #32

Candy-Lane — Sat, 15 Aug 2015 22:51:51 GMT

A simple explanation is pride. Many women do not understand that to men, pride is everything!

If they have always been close then my guess would be that the brother has repeatedly offered financial assistance to his brother but, the brother keeps turning him down. He knows that if he ever needs any money all he has to do is phone him.

It is possible that they have not always been close. Maybe something happened between the two that the wife doesn't know about. Maybe her husband wronged his... [ More ]

Reply #31

HoLeeKau — Sat, 15 Aug 2015 22:48:20 GMT

What's wrong with traveling? It's her money she can spend it however she enjoys. And she can take along whomever she enjoys traveling with.

I don't know exactly what the kids' spouses are doing, but I know if people are already spending irresponsibly even though they are only making minimum wage, I would be pretty unlikely to give them more. I'd be more likely to give money or other material help to people who are willing to live within their income.

It irritates me to see a huge TV and t... [ More ]

Reply #30

grwurston — Sat, 15 Aug 2015 22:47:21 GMT

Obviously he is under no obligation, but he does not seem to realize how hard it is to see how he spends his money on travel and amusements.

This line at the end of the story pretty much says where she is coming from...

Reply #29

noise-gate — Sat, 15 Aug 2015 22:46:24 GMT

If you knew that your kids spouses did not see the value of money and had the spend, spend spend attitude, you better believe that they would be pigs at your trough asking for handouts on a pretty regular basis if you were a lottery winner. My Father once told me this You cannot help being born into the family you now have- BUT you sure as heck can make sure you know beforehand the family you intend to marry into.

As for the Mother travelling to Vegas etc etc- well its her money for one. Two... [ More ]

Reply #28

RJOh — Sat, 15 Aug 2015 22:34:29 GMT

Did she tell you because you asked as a friend of did she just want you as a customer to know her personal business

Reply #27

mypiemaster — Sat, 15 Aug 2015 22:30:14 GMT

I know a girl whose mom won millions in the lottery. The last time I saw her, she was still working at a gas station. She told me that her mom will not give her or her brother any money because she does not like how their spouses blow through money . This left me scratching my head, wondering which came first, the chicken or the egg. She said the mom now travels frequently to Vegas, Hawaii and the Carribean with different men. Yikes!!!.

Reply #26

RJOh — Sat, 15 Aug 2015 22:29:02 GMT

Any grown healthy person who thinks their in-laws should be supporting them financially is lazy or greedy or both period. I can't think of them any other way.

Reply #25

noise-gate — Sat, 15 Aug 2015 22:24:15 GMT

Well Stack, if this couple is from the Bible Belt, stay tuned. l read where that section of the country has the highest divorce rate in the Nation.

Reply #24

Stack47 — Sat, 15 Aug 2015 22:17:24 GMT

I was playing a pick-4 system that boxed five combos and hit one of them. A co-worker told me how he would play one of the other boxed combos straight, it hit about 4 months later, and his wife told me I owed him a cut because he gave me the number . Had I given him a cut and later he won a large jackpot, should I expect a cut from his win too?

This story isn't about the brother believing he is entitled to some of his brother's winnings, but about a sister-in-law. It's either a bogus story or... [ More ]

Reply #23

noise-gate — Sat, 15 Aug 2015 22:12:29 GMT

What I don t understand is how he can stand to see his little brother so stressed and working so hard while he has more money than he could spend in a dozen lifetimes.

That's just frustration, envy, jealousy, talking out loud because its a You have what l don't have situation.

l mean come on $50 mil is not enough to spend in a dozen lifetimes unless one lived as a hermit like Ted Kaczynski, the convicted Unabomber, in his infamous.....

Reply #22

maringoman — Sat, 15 Aug 2015 21:25:43 GMT

She says

What I don t understand is how he can stand to see his little brother so stressed and working so hard while he has more money than he could spend in a dozen lifetimes.

She doesn't indicate anywhere that her husband is unable to work. Anybody here who works will tell you stress and working hard is normal part of life. That last line about dozen lifetimes betrays her real intentions. She wants that money for no other reason than the fact that she feels her brother in law has too... [ More ]

Reply #21

noise-gate — Sat, 15 Aug 2015 20:39:24 GMT

The story says nothing about her being unemployed, for all we know she could be working two jobs as well. What she did say was I think he should help his brother out. Maybe she does not have a lazy behind as you put it RJ.

.... maybe not

Reply #20

RJOh — Sat, 15 Aug 2015 20:26:43 GMT

You could be right. She's whining about money even though her husband is working two jobs to support her lazy behind, maybe she should get off it and get a job to help him.

Reply #19

MillionsWanted — Sat, 15 Aug 2015 19:45:44 GMT

Hypotetically: If the family of the winner know his brother and wife just will waste away the money, perhaps they do not want to give it away.

Reply #18

noise-gate — Sat, 15 Aug 2015 19:34:31 GMT

I posted what my opinion is, that's all. The scenario presented is wacky. There is no way a wealthy Brother will observe a family member struggle as this woman presents it and do nothing. If you were a lottery winner and you had a sibling that was hooked on drugs and you had it within your power to get that person into rehab, you don't stand idle by and say how about dropping one or two of your drugs and hopefully you will turn the corner. Like l said, it's possible the brother did give him a po... [ More ]

Reply #17

maringoman — Sat, 15 Aug 2015 19:17:26 GMT

What don't you see it happening? That two brothers can be cool when one has millions and the other is working? I see it happen all the time. Some people will not take charity. Now if the struggling brother was sick and couldn't afford treatment or homeless then I'd feel different about fortunate brother not helping.

Reply #16

noise-gate — Sat, 15 Aug 2015 18:51:07 GMT

l understand what you saying, but this story is all Wrong. I mean just take a serious look at a third of the opening lines. Brothers orphaned, brothers moved around through foster care, living with various family members. Having lived through those times, you mean to tell me those experiences would not resonate with the more fortunate brother? We are asked to believe that these two are still close and your brother is literally struggling to keep his head above water while you go about buying thi... [ More ]

Reply #15

maringoman — Sat, 15 Aug 2015 18:32:46 GMT

The husband seems okay with working two jobs to take care of his bills. That's what responsible men do. It's the wife that seems to want the help. It's unmanly to beg when you can work and earn. I just hope she won't ruin the brothers relationship

Reply #14

psykomo — Sat, 15 Aug 2015 18:10:37 GMT

R:

U may B onto somoum U ole owl Maby D brothers R planning 2 tick off D wife so much she will DIVORCE the pur one brother and

git nuttin in her settlement Then D rich brother can give a lotta money 2 the pur little pur brother and he can sit on D money

and guard it from the rich brothers WIFE $$$$$$$$ Is D rich brother married.........? Don't any of U LP members worry bout finantional manalement

when you know U have a friend like Psyko when U hit D BIG WON cause Psyko can connect U... [ More ]

Reply #13

grwurston — Sat, 15 Aug 2015 18:03:54 GMT

We are only hearing one side of the story. Perhaps the rich brother financed the business when he was first starting out. Or maybe the rich brother had asked for help when he was down and out and was turned down. Possibly the rich brother is quite a gambler and the other brother is totally against it for some reason, and would never ask for, or accept, any money that was gained in such a fashion.

Reply #12

music* — Sat, 15 Aug 2015 17:46:46 GMT

I suggest that she should recommend to her brother in law that he talk with his accountant before making any irreversible gifts. His accountant will know tax laws and how much he can gift another person. Then the brother in law will need to consult with his Certified Financial Planner CFP and see how this gift will change his plans.

This decision will have to be rational and not emotional.

Thank You That Scary Chick for this thread.

Reply #11

CDanaT — Sat, 15 Aug 2015 17:45:50 GMT

There are a few details missing to the article that would be a bit more helpful in making a reasonable reply. I do like Prudence's reply about asking.............. If I had that kind of relationship and going through the hard times as siblings, I personally would make darn sure that my brother got $10 million after taxes. I hope the wife doesn't find out that the brother gave her hubby $$ towards the business that failed without her knowing(some scenario similar to that)

Just my 2 cents... [ More ]

Reply #10

RJOh — Sat, 15 Aug 2015 17:42:30 GMT

The fact is these guys been brothers all their lives and before the one won the lottery and the other businesses failed did such questions ever come up, if not why should they come up now that their positions in life are switched.

Reply #9

hearsetrax — Sat, 15 Aug 2015 17:34:44 GMT

wouldn't surprise me

but then I believe shes got a case of the green eyed monster and they're probably living beyond thar humble means

Reply #8

bigbear29 — Sat, 15 Aug 2015 17:16:12 GMT

I agree with noise-gate, and also, the brother may have helpped, but may-be not enough to make a difference in the brother's life. I would have made sure instead of having two multi-million dollar vacation homes.

Reply #7

RJOh — Sat, 15 Aug 2015 16:36:23 GMT

Sounds likes a greedy wife that's is more interested in the wealth of his in-laws than her husband is. If she wants to live off the wealth of another man maybe she should divorce her husband and look for wealthier one.

Reply #6

noise-gate — Sat, 15 Aug 2015 16:14:00 GMT

Personally, l find this story extremely difficult to believe. Not saying it's a lie, just doesn't seem normal. How can they be close without either one asking so how are you and the family doing?

..Sorry l don't buy it.

Reply #5

zephbe — Sat, 15 Aug 2015 15:58:18 GMT

Reply #4

zinniagirl — Sat, 15 Aug 2015 15:33:33 GMT

OR peraps the brother turned down the offer of money, preferring to pay his own way.

Reply #3

HoLeeKau — Sat, 15 Aug 2015 15:09:19 GMT

The brothers are still close after 5 years, so apparently they have worked it out between them. The wife needs to stay out of it.

That said, it is strange that the winner didn't give little bro at least a little money. Or maybe he did and little bro is hiding it till he can break from the wife. LOL

Reply #2

bigbear29 — Sat, 15 Aug 2015 15:08:09 GMT

This is the thing that is destorying the united states, GREED. I would help my family and still live a comfortable life. Family comes first before any multi-million dollar vacation homes.

Reply #1

zephbe — Sat, 15 Aug 2015 15:00:23 GMT

It's been 5 years since the brother won. The lady should buy her own lottery tickets for a win. She doesn't know what her husband and his brother discuss--so she needs to start playing.

My husband's brother won the lottery but hasn't offered to help us out.

ThatScaryChick — Sat, 15 Aug 2015 14:52:00 GMT

http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/08/dear_prudence_my_brother_in_law_won_the_lottery_but_won_t_help_us_out.html

This question was posed to Prudence last week. A lot of the comments are condemning the brother who won the lottery. Do you agree? Do you think the lottery winner should help his brother since they are so close?

I actually thought that maybe the lottery winner did try to help his brother but maybe his brother refused the help. And honestly, I think the wif... [ More ]