TigerAngel's Blog

GHOSTS HAVE STARTED DANCING NAKED

(The ghost story was in the news at the beginning  of this gulf war and that's the time this poem was written)

 

Yesterday another book on the Holocaust

perhaps I over identify.

Synchronicity last night

walking by a TV set

a doctor explained, over images of Aushchwitz,

we are all becoming numb like the prisoners

because we are bombarded with tragedy

we can do nothing about.

 

The other night in one dream

a loudspeaker announced all the women

have been removed from the planet.

Then later, in a vision

women in bright colors

leaning out of train windows

all looking back at me.

So why am I left?  Ain't I a woman?

 

Ghosts have started dancing naked

in front of cars in Bagdad

sending drivers into panic.

My muse has apparently consulted

the ghosts of Freud and Jung

and disguises everything.

 

Last night I slept in the crossbow

of trains again.  Something crawled

on my leg.  I brushed it away

without waking completely.

I'd like to dissappear in a fugue

but there's no one left

to pay the rent but me.                                               

TALKFEST WITH LARA MCGRATH

 

I took a plane, a train, then a cab

once I got to Richmond

to find Lara McGrath.

I felt safe enough

with the sad old cabby

being the only white girl in town

looking for the oldest white woman left.

With no address but knowing her street

we drove up and down the block

until I saw the crumbling house

that use to be dark green

she rented fifty years

and paid for several times.

I had such fondness for her

she was an old lady even back then

all the letters we wrote.

She said come see her anytime

and we'd have a talkfest.

So, there I was

but now she was so ancient

she thought I was someone else.

No, my dad was your son's friend,

you know, your son Bud?

All the letters we wrote?

I tried to converse

whoever I was

and we had a weird talkfest anyway.

IN DEFENSE OF MY CAT

He's a living thing

I have to care for.

In times of chaos

I know I have some order

Because the cat

Has a schedule.

He needs food

At certain intervals.

He has an imposed curfew now--

9 o'clock.

Outside he's a beast

to the birds and neighbors.

Inside he's the only lover I've got.

Thousands of years ago

His ancestors were worshiped

And he's never forgotten it.

Somehow I know, this little stray cat

With the big gold eyes

Was sent here to me.                                    6-16-03

OH HAPPY SUNDAY

 

It's Sunday

and I want to sip coffee

to classical music

read the fat paper

and dilly-dally hours

in my Japanese peignoir

then nutralize my brain and see what thoughts may come.

I want to phone long distance

and hear about the trip

to Guatemala; make pierogies

and sausage for you.

I should be sitting in a pew

sorry for my sins

the last 13 years.

I took my Sunday here and there.

Now, I must make my quota

in the sun of doorways.

I've done this before

it's my penalty

for the danger of freedom.

Oh happy Sunday

let me and everyone

be wrong

but let God

be right.                                                     

Well, first I must give credit to Rip Snorter and his blog entries that have inspired me to write here.  Tonight is night 3 of my plan to drink red wine and pull my own tooth.  The other night I did a google search on pulling one"s own tooth. There"s no way I am going to pay $165 or whatever the rate has gone up to now, for some Nazi dentist to do the little 20 second deed for so much money. Come to think of it, that must be how guys feel about paying a lot of money to hookers for there short time! LOL Anyway, I suppose the last two nights after wine etc. the pain lessened and I sorta got involved in other things and conviniently forgot about pulling my tooth, which is a moeler that I prolly ground too much in my sleep and hence uprooted it and now it is very loose and hurts.  The only consolation I can think of about this revolting development is that a lot of runway models get their back teeth taken out so their cheeks will look more guant (sp?) hence, thin and beautiful!!! LOL . So on the google search of "how to pull your own tooth" about 4 items down was a link for "how to s*** your own di **which I couldn't use, didn't click on, but for some reason pictured breifly the machanics thereof.  The website I landed on gave many good reasons and explainations of why I should not attempt to pull my own tooth but then described how I should go about it and the aftercare following . This whole thing reminds me of an Indian squaw, oopps, not politically correct. Okay, an Indian woman, I picture going off to be by herself, to dig a hole in the ground to squat over and drop her baby in.  All by herself, natural if you will.  And a seemingly better position I might add, to give birth , instead of flat on one's back!

But I digress.  I remeber my old dentist, Dr. Sweet was his name.  What are the odds of that?  I was in the chair, he was about to dive into my mouth and I asked, " Did you like your Mother?" , trying to get a clue, was he a Nazi type dentist or what?  He replied, "yes, and she had a sweater just like yours". LOL

Oh my, I'm getting low on wine and will have to attempt the deed pretty soon. Please bare with me, feeling "verklempt".  I'm not Jewish, just like the humor. . . Actually I had a Jewish boyfriend once from New Jersey.  He played harmonica in a country western band. . . go figure  . . . but I digress again ..  ok, here's the real deal, I want to pull my tooth and get past this, for crying out loud it's the Christmas season, I want to get out there and have some fun, duh!  I will hurt, and then have to bite on the guaze thingy for 2 hours and hope to form a clot and hope I don't lose it and sheesh they said no smoking for 48 hrs. well no way there, prolly propaganda anyway. Oh yeah, the website said on the bottom it's more likely to get a dry socket which you don't want to get. No wonder I'm procrastinateing and on nite number 3!!! A dry socket, very bad news. If one looses one's blood clot then a dry socket can happen that can last 6 months or so, etc, with pain etc, sheesh!!! Ok, forget that, because I',m going for it . Al l I have to decide is to use the regular plyers or the needle nose plyers?  I think I'm going with the needle nose, they were a gift from my Pop years ago were I started making jewlry.  Speaking of Pop, he pulled all my teeth when I was a kid.  Funny thing about it is I don't remember any pain.  I remember a little scene, like a ceremony sort of.  Perhaps a rite of passage.  Hang on, I think I'm ready to give it a go . . .

Well, I've succeeded at liberating the Foxbrook California 2004 Merlot and I must say restling with the French corkscrew gave me the heebie jeebies thinking about restling with my tooth.  Actually, I've thought about it and the only way to go is QUICK and DETERMINED!!! Don't try this at home. . . I've got to do this and that's that. Oh sure, I could go Monday at 8am to the freebie place but that's a weekend away!  Besides, the website says all these things that can go wrong, I might end up there anyway.  How does the rest of the world deal with pulling their own tooth?  Is this some kind of cosmic joke on me ? I mean recently I received  an astrology email that said I had built up cosmic karmic credit! Yeah, I can see that  but I blew it royally on 10/31. So now is the consolation prize hovering over a sink with needle nose plyers trying to pull my own sore, sick tooth?  Perhaps this is a question I should not ask. . . All is fair in love and war etc, etc. Ok, one more ciggy butt and I swear I'm gona give it a go. . .

The last time  had a tooth pulled I remember they had a gizmo that fit over the tooth and instead of rocking it back and forth like the website says they twisted it.  Well.,  I've been rocking it for days and I think when I find the needle nose plyers I  will just do the twist thingy and be done with it!!!!  It was nice of the website to inform me of the reason for the pain in diverse places.  It said that the brain can't tell once the pain gets into the jaw bone where it's coming from.  So, that's why my tongue hurts plus upper teeth etc. Sheessh, I  just want to get this over with.  Ok, here I go to find the needle nose plyers. . . there's something really lonely about this whole thing. . .

ok, I found the needle nose.  When I was a kid I had a dentist named Van Buren, yeah a German name.  He didn't care about me, he wa s a NAZI DENTIST!!!!I should have sued him yrs later when I grew up.!!!!

Suddenly I don't know why I'm telling you this! Perhaps I hope someone can relate and it will help them. G*d help us all. . .ok the time of reconing has arrived. I will return after going into the bathroom where I have gauze cut to size etc. Sheesh, it's now  2:13  am and I will have to bite on the guaze for 2 hours after the deed. Well, I have lots of Christmas card to write , sheesh.

OH %^&*($#@ I blew it, put tork on the twist and too painful, backed off. Took 800 milg. ibprofin and just want to crash. Had a sneezing fit, (?)