(The next time someone forwards you one of those fuzzy wuzzy e-mails reply with this if you want to).

_______________________________

Incredible story

In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University .

On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully.

He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walkedaway. Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenage son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creaturesturned and walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that severaltimes then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs and slammed his stupid ass against therailing, killing him instantly. Probably wasn't the same elephant.

This is for all of my friends who send me those heart-warming stories.

"I've got CDO.
That's just like OCD, but with the letters in order alphabetically, like they should be."

-Reader's Digest

Police Say Georgia Man Killed Own Daughter to Protect Family Honor

A Georgia man appeared in court Monday on charges he killed his own daughter for disgracing his family.

Chaudhry Rashid, wearing a redjumpsuit and shackles around his ankles, went before Chief Judge DaphneWalker at the Clayton County Magistrate Court where he was arraigned ona murder charge.

The54-year-old, who is of Pakistani descent, kept his head down as chargeswere read, and appeared to have difficulty understanding instructionsfrom the judge, possibly the result of a language barrier.

Histwo sons were also in attendance, watching their father from seats inthe rear of the courtroom, joined by two others. Rashid waved to theircorner as he shuffled slowly out, impeded by the shackles.

The25-year-old victim, Sandeela Kanwal, was wed in Pakistan in an arrangedmarriage. Police said Kanwal hadn't seen her husband, who lives inChicago, for months.

Accordingto police, there was "friction between father and victim" in the weeksleading up to the killing. Rashid had not spoken to his daughter inmore than two months.

Policesaid Rashid was so angered that his daughter planned to divorce herhusband that he killed her after a heated argument at the family'shome, FOX News affiliate MyFoxAtlanta reported.

Policewho arrived at the scene said they found Rashid's two sons at the endof the driveway and their father sitting behind a car smoking acigarette. Officers said that Rashid appeared "distraught and possiblymournful" and told police "my daughter is dead" when they arrived.

After entering the home, Kanwal's body was discovered in the doorway of a bedroom, cold to the touch, officials said.

Apolice report said that there were possible "ligature marks" indicatingstrangulation on the victim and noted that an iron and cord had beenfound near her body. A necklace was also found on a table downstairs,according to the report.

Rashid was taken to the Clayton County jail where he reportedly confessed to strangling Kanwal.

The news shocked neighbors and friends.

"Thefamily is very upset and stressed," said Shahid Malik of the PakistaniAmerican Community of Atlanta. Malik told MyFoxAtlanta that he met withthe family Sunday and said they were all traumatized.

Rashidwill be back in court Tuesday at 1:30 p.m. EDT. His bond hearing isscheduled for July 25 at 8 a.m., with a preliminary hearing July 24.

Click here to read more from FOX affiliate MyFoxAtlanta.com

FOX News' Marianne Silber and David Lewkowict contributed to this report.

Considering the antics of some jackpot winners:

When prosperity comes, do not use all of it.

Confucius

Russian space probe may save Earth from asteroid

RIA Novosti
Friday, June 27, 2008

MOSCOW,June 27 (RIA Novosti) - Russian experts have said a space missionshould be sent in 2012 to the Apophis asteroid to establish whether itwill collide with Earth, adding that the Russian Phobos-Gruntspacecraft could be used for that purpose.

A report at a Moscowscientific conference said 99942 Apophis, or Asteroid 2004 MN4, with adiameter of 350m, is the biggest space threat to Earth.

In 2029,this near-Earth object will be at a distance of only 36,000 km (22,400miles) - closer than satellites in geostationary orbit. Earth's gravitycould change the orbit of Apophis in such a way that it would collidewith Earth on its next approach in 2036.

http://en.rian.ru/science/20080627/112427353.html

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2012, how interesting!

Thousands of Dutch Prepare for 2012 Apocalypse, According to Report

Theworld will end in 2012 — or so say thousands in the Netherlandspreparing for the apocalypse in four years, the Dutch-languagenewspaper de Volkskrant reported Tuesday.

The paper spoke tothose who believe the 2012 date signals the impending end ofcivilization and are stocking up on emergency supplies, equipment andlife rafts in case of flooding, United Press International reported.

Whiletheories vary as to why 2012, in particular, is believed by some torepresent the world's end, most say it is the end of the Mayancalendar. Some are optimistic about the apocalypse, saying they nolonger want to live in the modern world.

"You know, maybe it'sreally not that bad that the Netherlands will be destroyed," PetraFaile told de Volkskrant. "I don't like it here anymore. Takeimmigration, for example. They keep letting people in. And then we haveto build more houses, which makes the Netherlands even heavier. Thecountry will sink even lower, which will make the flooding worse."
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,370591,00.html

ISP's confirm '2012: The Year The Internet Ends'

Update:Bell Canada and TELUS (formerly owned by Verizon) employees officiallyconfirm that by 2012 ISP's all over the globe will reduce Internetaccess to a TV-like subscription model, only offering access to a smallstandard amount of commercial sites and require extra fees for everyother site you visit. These 'other' sites would then lose all theirexposure and eventually shut down, resulting in what could be seen asthe end of the Internet.

Dylan Pattyn, who is currentlywriting an article for Time Magazine on the issue, has officialconfirmation from sources within Bell Canada and is interviewing amarketing representative from TELUS who confirms the story and statesthat TELUS has already started blocking all websites that aren't in thesubscription package for mobile Internet access. They could not confirmwhether it would happen in 2012 because both stated it may actuallyhappen sooner (as early as 2010). Interviews with these sources, moreconfirmation from other sources and more in-depth information on theissue is set to be published in Time Magazine soon.
What can we do?

Thereason why we're releasing this information is because we believe wecan stop it. More awareness means more mainstream media shedding lighton it, more political interest and more pressure on the ISP's to keepthe Internet an open free space. We started this social network as aplatform for Internet activism where we can join forces, share ideasand organize any form of protest that may have an impact. If we want tomake a difference in this, we have to join together and stand united asone powerful voice against it.
http://ipower.ning.com/netneutrality2

A teacher in Elmira, New York asked her 6th grade class how many ofthem were Obama fans. Not really knowing what an Obama fan is, butwanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their handsexcept for Little Johnny. The teacher asked Little Johnny why he hasdecided to be different...again.

Little Johnny said, “Because I'm not an Obama fan.”

The teacher asked, “Why aren't you an Obama fan?”

Johnny said, “Because I'm a Republican.”

The teacher asked him why he's a Republican.

Little Johnny answered, “Well, my Mom's a Republican and my Dad's a Republican, so I'm a Republican.”

Annoyed by this answer, the teacher asked, “If your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?”

With a big smile, Little Johnny replied, “That would make me an Obama fan.”

FUTURE AMERICA?

You awake each day to the Muslim muezzin call to prayer from the neighborhood mosque - as millions of Europeans already do.

Liberalsespouse “diversity is our strength” as Islamic enforcers cruise thecities in their quest to shutter, or harass any establishment that iscontrary to Islamic “sharia” Law. Guns are confiscated and stiffpenalties are dished out to citizens who defy the new anti-gun laws.Women are told to cover their hair and face when in public.

Youare cautious about attending public events or being part of any largecrowd as these are the favorite targets of suicide bombers in theirquest to exhibit violence against non-Muslims who resist conversion orsurrender. Dissent has been stifled since the Fairness Doctrine wasreinstated.

A new Senator is sworn in, one of several Senatorsthat have recently converted to the Muslim faith. Muslim populateddistricts are increasingly changing the political landscape by sendingmore electees to Congress.

A recent ruling from the SupremeCourt states sharia law does not violate the “separation of church andstate.” This ruling paves the way for Islamic controlled municipalitiesto govern every aspect of religious, political, and personal life ofthe local populace-- [amounting to a form of totalitarianism analogousto Communism].

The Hollywood Left gives up gay rights in favor of the much safer charms of polygamy.

AsMark Steyn [author of the New York Times bestseller “America Alone”]puts it, "The future belongs to the fecund and the confident. And theIslamists are both, while the West -- wedded to a multiculturalism thatundercuts its own confidence, a welfare state that nudges it towardsloth and self-indulgence, and a childlessness that consigns it tooblivion -- is looking ever more like the ruins of a civilization."

Ifyou think this can't happen, you haven't been paying attention towhat’s been happening in Europe and the UK. Europe is almost certainlya goner, as Mark Steyn laments in his book, but America can stillsurvive, prosper, and defend its freedom only if it continues tobelieve in itself, in the sturdier virtues of self-reliance (notgovernment), in the centrality of family, and in the conviction thatour country really is the world's last best hope.

The Muslimshave a twenty year goal to conquer the West. They have only a short 13years remaining until victory, as their quest started in 2000.

Wake up America before it is too late!

http://www.usawakeup.org/mission.htm

Oink Oink but some of these are pretty funny, especially number 1 and number 4.

Why Men Prefer Guns Over Women

The Top Ten Reasons Men Prefer Guns Over Women#10. You can trade an old 45 for a new 22.


#9. You can keep one gun at home and have another for whenyou're on the road.


#8. If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he'llprobably let you try it out a few times.


#7. Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another gunfor a backup.


#6. Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo!


#5. A gun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.


#4. Guns function normally every day of the month.


#3. A gun doesn't ask , "Do these new grips make me look fat?"


#2. A gun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.


And the number one reason a gun is favored over a woman....

#1. YOU CAN BUY A SILENCER FOR A GUN!

How the Masters of the Universe are murdering the middle class by gambling on black gold

By Dan Atkinson
Last updated at 11:21 AM on 01st June 2008

The Masters of the Universe, those big-name traders of the City and Wall Street, have a brand new toy to play with: oil.

Last month, waves of speculation pushed the price of 'black gold' to all-time highs.

Althoughworld supply and demand are thought to be roughly in balance, thebright young things working for the investment banks and hedge fundshave bid up the cost of a barrel of crude oil through the stratosphere.

Despite some easing last week, the price remains at record levels.

Wewill all have to pay, and not just at the filling station. Expensiveenergy means slower economic growth, fewer jobs and less tax revenue,hence less money to spend on health, education and public safety.

Social tranquillity and the quality of life could take a big hit. Thanks, guys.

Infairness, we ought to be getting used to this by now. After all, we areonly just starting to foot the bill for the financial elite's lastjolly jape: the sub-prime mortgage crisis.

Here, they bundled uphuge quantities of flaky American and other mortgages, declared them tobe top-quality investments and flogged them to investors - includingbanks - around the world.

So complicated were these packages of IOUs that nobody was sure which bank held how many.

Once- as was inevitable - low-income Americans started defaulting on theirhome loans, banks stopped lending to one another because no institutioncould be sure which of the others could be brought down by these 'toxicsecurities'.

Northern Rock in Britain and Bear Stearns in theUnited States were the biggest victims of the lending drought thatfollowed. We bailed out the former, US taxpayers rescued the latter.

Andthe fallout means there are fewer mortgages available for would-behomeowners, and people with perfectly good credit ratings are havingtheir plastic cards taken away.

Before all that, we had themassive speculative bubble in commercial and residential property inBritain, now deflating with consequences that can only be guessed at,and the crazy boom in dot.com shares in the late Nineties, regardlessof the fact that few of the companies involved had ever turned a profit.

Continues:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10...black-gold.html

I was walking past the mental hospital the other day and all the patients were shouting ,'13....13....13'...

The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the planks
and looked through to see what was going on.

Some nut poked me in the eye with a stick.
Then they all started shouting '14....14....14'...

___________________________________________

Good News / Bad News for Pastors

Good News: You baptized seven people today in the river.
Bad News: You lost two of them in the swift current.

Good News: The Women's Guild voted to send you a get-well card.
Bad News: The vote passed by 31-30.

Good News: The Elder Board accepted your job description the way you wrote it.
Bad News: They were so inspired by it, they also formed a search committee to find somebody capable of filling the position.

Good News: You finally found a choir director who approaches things exactly the same way you do.
Bad News: The choir mutinied.

Good News: Mrs. Jones is wild about your sermons.
Bad News: Mrs. Jones is also wild about the "Gong Show," "Beavis and Butthead" and "Texas Chain Saw Massacre."

Good News: Your women's softball team finally won a game.
Bad News: They beat your men's softball team.

Good News: The trustees finally voted to add more church parking.
Bad News: They are going to blacktop the front lawn of your parsonage.

Good News: Church attendance rose dramatically the last three weeks.
Bad News: You were on vacation.

Good News: Your deacons want to send you to the Holy Land.
Bad News: They are stalling until the next war.

Good News: Your biggest critic just left your church.
Bad News: He has been appointed the Head Bishop of your denomination.

Good News: The youth in your church come to your house for a surprise visit.
Bad News: It's in the middle of the night and they are armed with toilet paper and shaving cream to "decorate" your house.

________________________________________

A little boy was waiting for his mother to come out of the grocery store.
As he waited, he was approached by a man who asked,
"Son, can you tell me where the post office is?"
The little boy replied, "Sure! Just go straight down this street
a couple of blocks and turn to your right."
The man thanked the boy kindly and said, "I'm the new pastor
in town. I'd like for you to come to church on Sunday.
I'll show you how to get to Heaven."
The little boy replied with a chuckle. "Awww, come on;
you don't even know the way to the post office."

___________________________________________

A man in North Carolina had aflat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put abouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he gotback in the car to wait.

A passerby studied the scene as hedrove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He askedthe fellow what the problem was.
The man replied, "I have a flat tire."

The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"

Theman responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in thefront and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither."

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The drag queen walks into a Catholic church as the priest is comingdown the aisle swinging the incense pot. And he says to the priest,"Oh, honey, I love your dress, but did you know your handbag is onfire?"

Wealth is not his that has it, but his that enjoys it.

- Benjamin Franklin

During a recent talk radio program the subject was polygamy.

Someone called in and asked the host if he knew why Solomon had 300 wives and 700 concubines.

The answer was so that when he got home at the end of the day maybe one of them would be in a good mood.