ochoop17's Blog

Meaning of... 'potentially' and 'realistically'

A young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad, what is the
difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?"

The father thought for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother
if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask
your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars,
and then, ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million
dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that."

So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad
Pitt for a million dollars?"

The mother replied, "Of course, I would! We could really use that
money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great university!"

The boy then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad
Pitt for a million dollars?"

The girl replied, "Oh, good heavens! I LOVE Brad Pitt and I would
sleep with him in a heartbeat. Are you nuts?"

The boy then went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with
Brad Pitt for a million dollars?"

"Of course," the brother replied. "Do you know how much a million
bucks would buy?"

The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad.

His father asked him, "Did you find out the difference between
'potentially' and 'realistically'?"

The boy replied, "Yes, 'Potentially', you and I are sitting on three
million dollars, but 'realistically', we're living with two hookers
and a future congressman."

What belongs to yourself, but is used more by your friends than by yourself?

t the end of their first date, a young man takes his favorite girl home. Emboldened by the night, he decides to try for that important first kiss.
       
       With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and, smiling, he says to her, "Darling, how 'bout a goodnight kiss?"
       
       Horrified, she replies, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"
       
       "Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?"
       
       "No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"
       
       "Oh come on, there's nobody around, they're all sleeping!"
       
       "No way. It's just too risky!"
       
       "Oh please, please, I like you so much!!"
       
       "No, no, and no. I like you too, but I just can't!"
       
       "Oh yes you can. Please?"
       
       "NO, no. I just can't."
       
       "Pleeeeease?..."
       
       Out of the blue, the porch light goes on, and the girl's sister shows up in her pajamas, hair disheveled. In a sleepy voice the sister says: "Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss. Or I can do it. Or if need be, he'll come down himself and do it. But for crying out loud tell him to take his hand off the intercom button!"

What do you get if you cross an alley cat with a canary?

A small two-seater Cessna 152 plane crashed into a cemetery early this afternoon in central Poland. Polish search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the evening.

You will know that I am coming
From the jingle of my bell,
But exactly who I am is not an easy thing to tell.

Children, they adore me
for they find me jolly,
but I do not see them when the halls are decked with holly.

My job often leaves me frozen,
I am a man that all should know,
But I do not do business in times of sleet or ice or snow.

I travel much on business,
But no reindeer haul me around,
I do all my traveling firmly on the ground.

I love the time of Christmas,
But that's not my vocational season,
And I assure that is because of a sound economic reason

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

The eight of us go forth not back to protect our king from a foes attack.

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

 I look at you, you look at me, I raise my right, you raise your left. What is this object?

A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, ''But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.''

The more there is, the less you see.

What has teeth but can't eat?