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ochoop17's Blog

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Yesterday, 11:23 amA Couple..

A couple went to a doctor because the man was feeling down, tired all the time. The doctor said I will give a shot of vitamins, a prescription for some pep pills from the drugstore, and an empty jar for checking your sperm count - bring it back in next week so I can check it. When the guy came back to the doctor, the doctor said "Why, this jar is empty, I told you I needed to do a sperm count." The guy said, "I tried with my left hand, I tried with my right hand, my wife tried with her left hand and she also tried with her right hand, she even tried with her teeth. We could not get that jar open!"

Entry #2,751
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December 19, 2014, 11:44 amThey Look..

They look much alike, neither one can stay
They're as different as night is to day.
Both are at the end, each one starts a new
It can all depend on your point of view.

Entry #2,750
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December 18, 2014, 11:44 amWhat Did..

Q. What did the police officer say to the midget complaining that someone picked his pocket? A. I can’t believe someone would stoop so low.

Entry #2,749
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December 17, 2014, 10:57 amWhat Taste..

What tastes better than it smells?

Entry #2,748
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December 16, 2014, 10:44 amTHe Post Office

A little boy was waiting for his mother to come out of the grocery store.

As he waited, he was approached by a man who asked, "Son, can you tell me where the post office is?"

The little boy replied, "Sure, just go straight down the street a couple of blocks and turn to your right."

The man thanked the boy kindly and said, "I'm the new pastor in town, and I'd like for you to come to church on Sunday. I'll show you how to get to Heaven."

The little boy replied with a chuckle, "Awww, come on; you don't even know the way to the post office!"

Entry #2,747
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December 15, 2014, 10:48 amWhat Do..

What do you call a scared dinosaur?

Entry #2,746
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December 14, 2014, 11:36 amTwo Elderly Couples

Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other," Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?" "Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techniques: visualization, association, etc. It was great." "That's great! And what was the name of the clinic?" Fred went blank. He thought and thought, but couldn't remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?"
"You mean a rose?"
"Yes, that's it!" He turned to his wife, "Rose, what was the name of that memory clinic?"

Entry #2,745
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December 13, 2014, 11:01 amWhy Is Sunday..

Why can it be said that Sunday is the strongest day of the week?

Entry #2,744
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December 12, 2014, 12:37 pmWhy Is Xmas..

Q: Why is Christmas just like a day at the office ?
A: You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit

Entry #2,743
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December 11, 2014, 11:44 amWhat Grows..

What grows up while growing down?

Entry #2,742
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December 10, 2014, 12:13 pmQuestion & Answer

Question: What do a woman, a tornado and a hurricane have in common?
Answer: They all get the house!

Entry #2,741
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December 9, 2014, 9:22 amWhat Am I ?

Fill me up with water
And I'll really heat things up
I'm no beauty cream
But I'm great at removing wrinkles

What am I?

Entry #2,740
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December 8, 2014, 10:52 amA Sure Bet

Astrong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of Morris, one of the older workmen. After several minutes, Morris had enough.
       "Why don't you put your money where your mouth is?" he said. "I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won't be able to wheel back."
       "You're on, old man," the braggart replied. "It's a bet! Let's see what you got."
       Morris reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, "All right. Get in."

Entry #2,739
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December 7, 2014, 11:30 amWhy Is..

Why is a cake like a baseball team?

Entry #2,738
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December 6, 2014, 12:59 pmThree Buddies

Three buddies die in a car crash, and they find themselves at the pearly gates.

They are all asked: 'When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning, what would you like to hear them say about you?'




The first guy says: 'I would like to hear them say that I was the greatest doctor of my time, and a great family man.'




The second guy says: 'I would like to hear that I was a school teacher who made a huge difference.'




The last guy replies: 'I would like to hear them say... "LOOK .. HE'S MOVING!"'

Entry #2,737
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