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ochoop17's Blog

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Today, 9:47 amMore Computer Viruses

A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"

Annie replied, "Because people are sleeping."
Read more at http://www.beliefnet.com/Entertainment/Joke-of-the-Day/Daily-Joke.aspx#CWXmgGBSLod7Zgmb.99
A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"

Annie replied, "Because people are sleeping."
Read more at http://www.beliefnet.com/Entertainment/Joke-of-the-Day/Daily-Joke.aspx#CWXmgGBSLod7Zgmb.99
A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"

Annie replied, "Because people are sleeping."
Read more at http://www.beliefnet.com/Entertainment/Joke-of-the-Day/Daily-Joke.aspx#CWXmgGBSLod7Zgmb.99

MORE COMPUTER VIRUSES

Government Economist Virus: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine

Federal Bureaucrat Virus: Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of your computer

Adam and Eve Virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple computer

Congressional Virus # 1: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem

Congressional Virus # 2: Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously but doesn't allow the user to accomplish anything

Jane Fonda Virus: attacks your hard drive's FAT

Oprah Winfrey virus: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands to 300MB

AT&T Virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.

MCI Virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus

Politically Correct Virus: Never calls itself a "virus", but instead refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism."

Ross Perot Virus: Activates every component in your system, just before the whole darn thing quits

Entry #2,537
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April 22, 2014, 8:43 amDid You Ever Wonder?

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?

Why are you IN a movie, but you are ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Entry #2,536
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April 21, 2014, 9:25 amWhy Were..

Why were the inventors of the airplane correct in thinking they could fly?

Entry #2,535
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April 20, 2014, 10:41 amFilled In The Blanks

Apr.18,1934: The first laundromat (called a "_________")was opened in _________,Texas.

Entry #2,534
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April 19, 2014, 12:50 pmWhat Is It ?

You can do this with your friends. You can do this with your nose. But don’t do it with your friend’s nose!

Entry #2,533
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April 18, 2014, 8:26 amFive People & Four Parachutes

There were five people aboard an airplane having engine trouble getting ready to crash, however, there were only four parachutes. Everyone wondered what should be done to determine who should get the parachutes.

A blonde guy said that he was the smartest thing that hit the face of the Earth, and that he was too smart to die. So, he took one of the parachutes and jumped out of the aircraft.

The second person said that she was too important to die, she had children and a family to take care of, and they depended on her to care for them. So, she took one of the parachutes and jumped out of the aircraft.

The third person said that he was too important to die because his family depended on him for survival. He was the head of household and the sole bread winner. So, he took one of the parachutes and jumped out of the aircraft.

Finally, there were only two people left, and one parachute. One person was a 12 year old boy, and the other was a 65 year old man. The old man said, "Well son, I have lived a good life, and you are too young to die, you have a long life ahead of you. So, you take the last parachute. The boy asked, "Why, Sir?" The old man said, "Well, there is only one parachute left." The little boy said, "Sir there are really two parachutes left." The old gentlemen asked, excitedly, "Yeah? How?" "Well," replied the boy, "you know that guy who thought he was the smartest and greatest thing that hit the face of the Earth? He grabbed my backpack!"

Entry #2,532
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April 17, 2014, 10:33 amFill In The Blanks

Apr.15, 19--: ____________ becomes the first woman to fly across the English Channel.

Entry #2,531
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April 16, 2014, 11:34 amWho Am I ?

 Water

Entry #2,530
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April 15, 2014, 1:00 pmTwo Blondes

While walking in the park, two blondes see another blonde rowing her boat on the grass. The first blonde says to the second blonde, "its blondes like that one, that give us a bad name!" the second blonde replies, "I know, if I could swim I would go over there and punch her!"

Entry #2,529
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April 14, 2014, 9:45 amFill In The Blanks

Apr.13,1964: ___________became the first black actor in a leading role to win an Academy Award for his performance in "____________."

Entry #2,528
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April 13, 2014, 11:34 amA New Truck

One day, Jimmy Joe was walking down Main Street when he saw his buddy Bubba driving a brand new pickup. Bubba pulled up to him with a wide grin.


"Bubba, where'd you get that truck?!?"



"Bobby Sue gave it to me" Bubba replied.



"She gave it to you? I knew she was kinda sweet on ya,

but a new truck?"



"Well, Jimmy Joe, let me tell you what happened. We were driving out on County Road 6, in the middle of nowhere. Bobby Sue pulled off the road, put the truck in 4-wheel drive, and headed into the woods. She parked the truck, got out, threw off all her clothes and said,

'Bubba, take whatever you want'.


So I took the truck!"
Entry #2,527
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April 12, 2014, 11:14 amWhat Is It ?

Put into a pit
Locked beneath a grate
Watched through the night
Yet it still goes out

Entry #2,526
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April 10, 2014, 11:11 amFill In The Blanks

Apr.9, 19--: British statesman _______________is proclaimed an honorary U.S. citizen by President John F. Kennedy.

Entry #2,525
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April 9, 2014, 12:32 pmA Sure Bet

A strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of Morris, one of the older workmen. After several minutes, Morris had enough.
     
      "Why don't you put your money where your mouth is?" he said. "I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won't be able to wheel back."
     
      "You're on, old man," the braggart replied. "It's a bet! Let's see what you got."
     
      Morris reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, "All right. Get in."

Entry #2,524
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April 8, 2014, 9:49 amWhat Is It ?

It lives without a body, hears without ears, speaks without a mouth, and is born in air. What is it?

Entry #2,523
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