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ochoop17's Blog

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Yesterday, 11:41 amWhat Do..

What do you get when you eat onions and beans?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why
- don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

Read more on page: http://www.jokesoftheday.net/the-best-jokes/
Entry #2,820
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March 2, 2015, 12:44 pmWhat Does..

What does this mean? . . . . . . . .

Entry #2,819
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March 1, 2015, 12:00 pmA Mime Artist

If the police arrest a mime artist, do they tell him that he has the right to remain silent?

Entry #2,818
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February 28, 2015, 12:08 pmThe Teacher

The Teacher says to the class: Who ever stands up is stupid
*Nobody stands up*
Teacher: I said who ever stands up is STUPID!
*Little Johnny stands up*
Teacher: Johnny, do you really think that you are stupid?
Little Johnny: No Mrs, I just thought that maybe you are lonely being the only one standing.

Entry #2,817
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February 27, 2015, 1:33 pmHow Can..

How can a pants pocket be empty and still have something in it?

Entry #2,816
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February 26, 2015, 11:34 amA deserted Island

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stranded on a deserted island.
One day, the three of them are walking along the beach and discover a magic lamp. They rub and rub, and sure enough, out pops a genie.
The genie says: "Since I can only grant three wishes, you may each have one".
The brunette says, "Ive been stuck here for years. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I just want to go home". POOF! The brunette gets her wish and she is returned to her family.
Then, the red head says: "I've been stuck here for years as well. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I wish I could go home too". POOF! The redhead gets her wish and she is returned to her family.
The blonde starts crying uncontrollably. The genie asks: "My dear, whats the matter?" The blonde whimpers: "I wish my friends were still here."

Entry #2,815
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February 25, 2015, 11:44 amWhat Has..

WHAT HAS A HEAD EVERY NIGHT BUT DOESN'T EVERY MORNING?

Entry #2,814
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February 24, 2015, 10:50 amKnowing Woman

Question: What do you call a woman who always knows where her husband is?
Answer:  a widow.

Entry #2,813
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February 23, 2015, 12:13 pmWhat Am I ?

If you throw me from the window,
I will leave a grieving wife.
Bring me back, but in the door, and
You'll see someone giving life!

What am I?

Entry #2,812
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February 22, 2015, 11:22 amWife & Husband

Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"
Husband: "You have perfect eyesight."

Entry #2,811
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February 21, 2015, 11:07 amWhat Am I ?

My author's uncertain yet my title's the same,
I contain random text yet order's my aim.
Read me one day and see my pages are totally bare.
Try again another day and the words will be there.
I'm not a book of magic although it may sound,
I can predict the future, and inside, your life can be found.
Move my eye, I become involved in lactic extraction.
But that's just a clue, a minor distraction.

What am I?

Entry #2,810
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February 19, 2015, 11:31 amMark 17

A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17."

The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went up. The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only 16 chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."

Entry #2,809
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February 18, 2015, 11:48 amIf A Farmer..

If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field?

Entry #2,808
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February 17, 2015, 9:52 amTop Ten Excuses For Falling Asleep At Your Desk

1 "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
2 "I wasn't sleeping, I was trying to pick up contact lens without hands."
3 "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!"
4 "Amen"
5 "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time management course you sent me to."
6 "Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper"
7 "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work related stress."
8 "This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!"
9 "Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won't wear off!"
10

"Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem.

Entry #2,807
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February 16, 2015, 11:20 amWhen Is..


When is your mind like a rumpled bed?

Entry #2,806
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