Elizabeth03's Blog

Funny story taken from the flying cow bulletin:

 

As a resident physician in radiology, I was speaking with the man whose wife was about to receive a CAT scan of the chest. While the nurse was placing the intraveneous line, I asked the husband if his wife had undergone any more test's. The man named several procedure's involving various body part's, but he couldn't remember one particular test. Thinking out loud, he said, "What is the thing that women have that men don't?" His wife was quick to answer, "A brain, dear."

 

I tried making resolution's in the past; because other people were doing it, only to fail.

Such as getting the money to rent a apartment or rent or  buy a house. That didn't happen.

I put alot of pressure on myself to be like everybody else. And I am not like everybody else.

I walk by pretty house's and wander what kind of live's the people have that live in them.

So now i will just take one day as it come's, that is my resolution..

So everybody else, you should not put pressure on yourselve's either..

 

Resolving to go at your own speed.

 

It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes happiness.

• Charles Spurgeon

A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the brick's other's throw at him.

• David Brinkley

Exercise is a dirty word. Every time I hear it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

• Charles M. Schultz

 

During training exercise's, a lieutenant who was driving down a muddy back road encountered another car stuck in the mud with a red- faced general at the wheel, "Your jeep stuck, sir?" enquired the lieutenant as he pulled alongside, "Nope, " replied the general, coming over and handing him the key's, "Your's is."

 

 

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.  As they passed a barnyard of mules, goat's and pig's, the husband asked sarcastically,  "Relative's of your's?"

"Yep," the wife replied, in-law's."

 

A man owned a small farm in the Annapolis Valley. The Labour Board claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent to interview him. " You just give me a list of your employees and tell me how much you pay them.' " All right,' said the farmer. "I' have a hired man. Been with me for three year's. I pay him $600 a week, plus room and board. I have a cook. She's been here six month's. She get's $500 a week, plus room and board. " Anybody else? asked the agent as he scribbled on a note pad.  "Yeah, " the farmer said.  "This guy is none too bright. Work's about eighteen hour's a day. I pay him ten dollars a week and give him chewing tobacco." "Aha!" the agent roared. "I want to talk to that man!"  "Speaking," said the farmer.

I was attempting to press the #111 on a cell phone to add air time, and instead pressed # 911, because I wasn't wearing my eyeglasses'; anyway I got the emergency number 911, and the operator was not too happy to receive my call. I apologized to her, telling her that I had not been wearing my glasses, and was trying to add air time to a phone; and pressed the wrong digit's.

She did not see the humour in it,and asked me what was the state of my emergency.

I apologized to her again, and quickly got off the cell phone.

I thought that is was funny, apparently, she did  not at the time.

 

Thought that I would share my funny day..

I keep thinking about getting a passport to travel. Living in Canada I want to get out of my comfort zone, and go somewhere different.

Though I do have a fear of flying on an airplane, as well as train travel.

But I do want to get on an airplane and just experience another city, another town. Maybe make friend's on my journey. And basically find out where life take's me.

 

Where have you gone out of your comfort zone, and was it a worthwhile adventure for you?

Have all appeared in church bulletin's..

* The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

* Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 pm- prayer and medication to follow.

* The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen  in the basement on Friday afternoon.

.* This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

* The pastor would appreciate if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Suday.

* Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7PM. Please use the back door.

*

*

These have genuinely appeared in church bulletin's.

 

* Don't let worry kill you off- let the church help.

* Miss Charlene Mason sang, I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

* For those of you that have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstair's.

* Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So end's a friendship that began in their school day's.

* At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our church choir.

* Eight new robe's are currently needed due to the addition of several new member's and the deterioration of some older one's.

* Scout's are saving aluminum can's, bottle's and other item's to be recycled. Proceed's will be used to cripple children.

* Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

 

Will add more later..

The following have all genuinely appeared in church bulletins:

 

* Next weekend's Fasting & Prayer Conference in Whitby includes all meals.

*Sunday morning sermon: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' Sunday evening sermon;

'Searching for Jesus.'

* Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale; it is a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husband's.

** Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our commmunity. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.

*Next Thursday there will be tryout's for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

 

I was walking on the street today and a gentleman a volunteer with the organization; it went by a french name then, in english- doctor's without border's  and the guy did a speech about it; wanted me to give a donation to the organization, to fill out the form. I told him I wasn't working right now.. And I didn't feel comfortable giving out private information to random people like that..

These people were going to people's house's or stopping people on the street and asking for donation's.. It wasn't for me..

I didn't want to talk to the guy for long, it was cold out...

Hello friend's, hope that you are well;

I battle with how many keno number's to try on any given day'

If I only play 2 numbers at a time is that being too frugal? Or maybe I should try three/What do you like to play?

 

Thank you

Well I have tried the free= easy to look at generator's on the computer, to pick number's to play for the lottery. Such as lotterypost, and random.org.

Have tried the <snip> site as well. But getting unsatisfied with what I have seen..

What free lotto generator site's do you like?

I really want to pick a pleasant site to look at..

Thank you very much friend's..

Well, I finally decided, to get the Keurig coffee brewer..

The Italian Roast flavour K cup's- the small box, came with it.. The taste of it is bold and strong, as the company say's, but way too strong for me;

I was tired of boiling the kettle for coffee and tea, and the brand's aren't the greatest.. So opted on the brewer..

Anyway, I need to buy- different flavour's of coffee's, tea's, and hot chocolate's now of Keurig package's, and=hopefully, I will hit the jackpot, with a good brand to try..

I thought, if I am trying to win a lottery prize, I should at least, have some good coffee or tea to drink, along the way!