Elizabeth03's Blog

American idol was short tonight. Diana Ross performed and Brandon was voted off.

 It was strange how short the show was tonight, and it's back on tommorrow night possibly.

American Idol was on tonight. Diana Ross was a guest, critiquing the contestants, and giving them feedback and guidance on how to perform her songs.

The show is viewed by 30 million people around the world.

The contestants are very brave to sing in in front of such a large audience.!

The first person to perform tonight was:  Melinda Doolittle.  She has a very good voice for recording. She previously was a background singer. Whether she wins or not , she will continue to perservere.

Brandon Rogers performed next. He forgot words to the song, and his voice is not the strongest!

Chris Sly, was next.  Singing Endless Love".  He changed the melody of the song, and was not in tune, like he needed to be.

Gina.  Wants to be a rock singer. Her singing voice was pitchy in spots and not on target for the performance.

A young man , by the name of Sanjaya Malakar reminded me a bit of Michael Jackson. This 17 year old may become a R & B singer.

A very brave individual he is!

Haley Scarnato, the nexy lady to perform. She has a great future recording voice.

Phil Stacey, was next in the lineup. He has very strong vocals. And he sounded better than last week.

Lakisha, this lady used to work at a bank, and took a brave step to audition for American Idol and made it through. Her voice is of a theatre, or recording  performer.

Stephanie Edwards, did not give her best performance this time around. And she chose the wrong song, which often happens. Better luck next time!..

Chris Richardson, this gentleman, was the only contestant to get off the stage and get onto another part of the stage and position himself in front of the audience. A very good move, on his part..

The next gentleman, was Blake Lewis. He sang " You keep me hanging on". This man can definitely sing. He sounds like he should be in a boy band. And he reminds me a bit of Justin Timberlake.

The last person to perform for the evening was. Jordan Sparks. This young woman, 17 years old. Is a natural talent. Very good vocals. And one of the better performers of the evening.

American Idol is back on tommorrow night, and Diana Ross, will be performing.

Thank you. Goodnight

We all know how misleading the description of hotels and motels can be . So this was put together, a translation table to help you out...

See one of the phrases listed on the left, you will know what it really means by reading the translation on the right!

Old world charm ..........................................................    No bath

Tropical ........................................................................    Rainy

Majestic setting ...........................................................  A long way from home

Options galore itinerary ..............................................  Nothing is included in it

Secluded hideaway ....................................................  Impossible to find or get to

Pre-registered room .................................................    Already occupied

Explore on your own ...............................................  Pay for it yourself

Knowledgeable trip hosts before ...........................  They've flown in an airplane

No extra fees .......................................................    No extras

Nominal fee .........................................................  Outrageous charge

Standard .............................................................  Sub-standard

Deluxe ................................................................  Standard

Superior ............................................................  One free shower cap

Cozy .................................................................  Small

All the amenities .............................................  Two free shower caps

Plush ...............................................................  Top and bottom sheets

Gentle breezes ..............................................  Occasional Gale-force winds

Light and airy ...............................................  No air conditioning

Picturesque .................................................  Theme park nearby

Open bar ....................................................  Free ice cubes

Concierge ................................................  Stands with tourist brochures

Continental breakfast .............................  Free muffin                     

The cruise ship my friend was on docked at a Mexican port during a very high tide. Everyone on board was forced  to use the ship's narrow gangplank as a passageway to the dock far below. The staff stood motionless when a passenger in her 70's appeared at the top of the plank. There wasn't room for anyone to assist her, so she edged along slowly and finally made it to the dock safely, to everyone's relief. As she stepped down, she turned, looked back at the top of the plank and shouted, "Its okay, Mother, you can come down now."

Life is the journey not the destination.

A Canadian bloke is walking down the street with a case of beer under his arm.

His friend Randy stops him and asks, "Hey Dave! Whatcha got that case of beer for?"

"Well I got it for my wife, you see?" answers Dave.

"Wow", exclaims Randy, "Great trade.

Blonde Kidnapper

A blonde woman was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went into a local park, grabbed a little boy took him behind a tree and wrote a note.

"I have kidnapped your child. I am sorry to do this but I need the money. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park at 7AM."

signed,

"The blonde"

She pinned the note inside the little boy's jacket and told him to go straight home. The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10.000 in a brown bag behind the tree, just as she insisted.

Inside the bag with the cash was the following note. "Here is your money . I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another."

11.  I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.

10.  My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

9.  I will no longer be beholden to the sound of the can opener.

8.  Cats. Circulate a petition that sleeping become  a juried competition in major animal shows.

7. Come to understand that cats are from Venus and dogs are from Mars.

6. Hamster. Do't let them figure out I'm just a rat on steriods, or they'll flush me.!

5. Get a bite of that freak who gives me that shot every year.

4. Grow opposable thumb, break in pantry; decide for MYSELF how much food is *too* much.

3. Cats. Use now livingroom sofa as scratching post.

2. January 1st kill the sock! Must kill the sock!

January 2nd- December 31. Re-live victory over the sock.

AND the Number 1 new year's Resolutions Made by Pets..

I will NOT chase the stick until I see it LEAVE THE IDIOT'S HAND.

A woman who's husband often came home drunk decided to cure him of the habit one Halloween night.  She put on a devil suit and hid behind a tree to intercept him on the way home. When her husband came by, she jumped out and stood before him with her red horns, long tail and pitchfork.

"Who are you "? he asked. "I'm the devil, she responded".

Taking off his hat he said. "Pleased to finally  meet you sir, "I married your sister".

It is with the saddest heart that I pass on the following news. Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community.

 The Pilsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection, and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, two children, John Dough and Jane Dough. Who has a bun in the oven.

He is survived by his  elderly father, Pop Tart.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin.

Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies and Captain Crunch.

The grave site was piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, very lovingly described Doughboy as a man who knew how much he was kneaded.

Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with  turnovers. He was not considered a very smart "cookie". Wasting much of his dough on half - baked schemes.

Despite  being a little flaky at times, he still as a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for 20 minutes.

To All Employees

From: Management

Subject:  Office conduct during the Christmas Season

Effective immediately, employee's shoud keep in mind the following guidelines in compliance with FROLIC ( the Federal Reverly Office and Leisure Industry Council).

1.   Running aluminum through the paper shredder to make tinsel is discouraged.

2.   Playing Jingle  Bells on the push- button phone is forbidden ( it creates an incredible long distance bill).

3.  Work requests are not to be filed under "Bah humbug".

4.   Company cars are not to be used to go over the river and through the woods to Grandma's house.

5.   All  fruitcake is to be eaten BEFORE July 25.

6.  Eggnog will  NOT be dispensed  in vending machines.

In spite of all this, the staff is encouraged to have a Happy Holiday.

1.  You strike a match and light your nose.

2.  You take off your shoes and wade in the potato salad.

3.  You hear a duck quacking and it's you.

4.  You tell your best joke to the rubber plant.

5.  You refill your glass from the fish bowl.

6.  You hear someone say, "Call a priest."

7.  You start kissing the portraits on the wall.

8.  You complain about the small bathroom after emerging from the closet.

9.  You ask for another ice cube, and put it in your pocket.

10.  You tell everyone you have to go home.. and the party's at your place.

11.  You have to hold onto the floor to keep from sliding off.

12.  You pick up a roll, and butter your watch.

13 . You yawn at the biggest bore in the room, and realize you're in front of the hall mirror.

14.  You take out your hankerchief and blow your ear.

15.  You suggest everyone stand and sing the national budget.

A woman came home screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed

the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey pack your bags , I won the damn lottery!"

The husband said "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?"

"Doesn't matter,"she said, "Just get the hell out."

I forgot to go to the chat forum last night, Sunday. What happened? What were people talking about?

Thanks

I heard on the radio that we are due for a thunderstorm. It could be today or tomorrow. I don't like the lightening, because it could come into somebodies house. Very scary. I could do without it. We've had alot of rain the past two weeks.