A deal to die for: Funeral director offers free funeral for construction work on his apartment

Matt Lysiak and Carrie Melago
DAILY NEWS WRITERS

Wednesday, March 11th 2009, 2:18 AM

THIS IS ONE construction project that's simply to die for.

A Brooklyn funeral director is looking for a reliable contractor to put an addition on his apartment - in exchange for a free funeral package.

Peter Dohanich, 51, concedes some might view his ad on craigslist as "bizarre," but he thinks it's savvy, not spooky.

"These are tough times, and people don't have the money," Dohanich said. "I'm sure that there are contractors with elderly or terminally ill parents and are worried about how to cover the costly expenses of a funeral."

Dohanich, who is licensed in New York, New Jersey and Pennsylvania, is looking for a trustworthy contractor to build a 300-square-foot "sitting room" off the living room of his ground-floor apartment in midtown.

In return, Dohanich would provide a full funeral - cremation or burial, embalming, a coffin, viewing, church service, even a hearse and limo for loved ones.

"It may sound like a laughable barter transaction, but consider the average cost of paying for a funeral," he wrote in the ad. "Ask someone that recently had a funeral what they paid!"

Jessica Koth, a spokeswoman for the National Funeral Directors Association, said she has heard of a few funeral homes bartering their services, and her organization has no problem with it.

"This is a very creative solution," Koth said.

Robert Meyer, editor of BarterNews, said more and more businesses could try swapping services as the economy continues to struggle.

"I don't see it as distasteful one bit," Meyer said. "I think it's admirable to offer one's services for another. It's legal and profitable, too."

Meyer recommends that people bartering services draft a written contract and "treat it exactly as you would a cash business agreement."

Dohanich, who has run his Brooklyn funeral home for more than 25 years, said the offer could ease the mind of someone who otherwise might consider a burial in Potter's Field for a loved one.

"Everyone has to adapt to the times," he said, "even funeral directors."

Boy, 4, brings pot to Tamarac pre-school, police say

1:50 PM EDT

 March 11, 2009

Police: Would-be burglar stuck in Atlanta store

ATLANTA — A would-be burglar is in jail after he climbed through a hole in the roof of an Atlanta liquor store and then couldn't get back out.

Police and the owner of Azar's Package Store found 29-year-old Adam Hardeman early Tuesday hiding in a store restroom with playing cards, lighters and a bottle of gin in his pockets.

Authorities say the man got inside by moving a rooftop air conditioner and dropping through the hole.

Once inside, he couldn't climb back up, and burglar bars kept him from getting out windows or doors.

Police say Hardeman was arrested and is charged with burglary and damage to property.

Police do not know if Hardeman has an attorney.

___

Atlanta Journal Constitution

March 10, 2009 - 1:49 p.m. EDT

Body Mistakenly Delivered To Philly Pet Shop

Mar 10, 2009 11:34 pm US/Eastern

 More Images From The Scene...

PHILADELPHIA (CBS 3) ?

 A Philadelphia pet shop expected a shipment of exotic fish, but instead received the body of a California man.

  A Philadelphia pet shop expecting a shipment of exotic fish instead received a much more disturbing delivery Tuesday.

Philadelphia Police were called to Pets Plus USA on the Roosevelt Boulevard after reports of a large package containing the body of a man in his 60s.

Mark Arabia of Pets Plus USA said an employee attempted to pick up a delivery of exotic fish from US Airways Monday night, but was turned away when he could not provide correct identification.

A second attempt to pickup up the delicate sea creatures was made Tuesday morning, but this time the wrong package was loaded into the delivery vehicle.

After returning to the pet store, it was discovered the package was not aquatic life, but the body of Jon Kenoyer from Santee, California. The 65-year-old died of Alzheimer's on Friday.

"Instead of fish, they sent us a dead person," Arabia said.
Kenoyer's body was apparently intended for a research company Lifequest in Allentown. His wife donated his body to the facility to study Alzheimer's.

"At first, I was in the state of shock that they messed up to begin with, I wondered where he was going or how he got there," Kenoyer's widow Mary Ellen said. "And then I started to laugh because he was one that always did practical jokes and I said this was the last joke on us."

US Airways officials said the incident was an unfortunate mistake and released the following statement:

"Regrettably, there was an unfortunate mix up today (Tuesday) at the US Airways Cargo facility near Philadelphia International Airport. The mix up occurred due to a verbal miscommunication between a delivery driver and the cargo representative. We are working to rectify the situation and are deeply sorry for the inconvenience this has caused."

Kenoyer's body was eventually sent to Lifequest.

The fish are not believed to have survived the mishap. The incident remains under investigation.

Pot plants had to be moved after burglary, man tells police

Officers found 17 plants in pickup truck bed

Dana Treen

The Florida Times-Union

Story updated at 4:51 AM on Tuesday, Mar. 10, 2009 

Jacksonville, FL --A man arrested with 17 pot plants in the bed of his pickup told police he was moving them to protect them from burglars who hit his house the night before.

Sheboygan Press Staff                                 

March 7, 2009                                               Kristopher G. Lehnhardt

A 34-year-old Sheboygan man was charged Friday after allegedly leaving his library card behind while stealing beer from a Plymouth tavern.

Kristopher G. Lehnhardt, of 812 Pennsylvania Ave., Apt. 4, could face up to 18 months in jail, if convicted on misdemeanor counts of theft and property damage.

According to a criminal complaint:

A bartender at Cozy Bar, 116 E. Mill St., called police about 2:30 a.m. Feb. 22 after discovering lights on, a cooler open and a window screen cut in the basement.

She also found Lehnhardt's Mead Public Library card on the floor by a door, where it appeared to have been used in an attempt to unlock the door.

Missing were four cases of Miller Lite and six cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon beer.

A friend of Lehnhardt's told police Lehnhardt admitted taking the beer and putting it outside to pick it up later.

 Sheyboygan Press

Worker's agony as nailgun goes off and pins him to the floor

Ian Dow

March 6, 2009 

Daily Record UK

A BRAVE dad who accidentally stuck himself to his kitchen floor with a NAILGUN laughed off his gruesome ordeal.

Billy Allan, 39, was checking his powerful Max Superframer gun when he slipped and fired a four-inch nail through his hand.

His nine-year-old daughter found him. Mercy crews took 90 minutes to cut him free and get him to hospital, and two male nurses had to hold him steady while a doctor bashed the nail out with a hammer.

''The doctor said it was like something out of a cartoon,'' Billy told the Record.

''Everyone seems to find it funny and even I can laugh about it. But not too hard - any sudden movement and my hand really throbs.''

Billy works as a fencer and checks his nailgun every night to make sure it's working for the next day.

He's an expert with the gun and even completed a course recently in how to handle it safely.

But things went badly wrong when he tried to check it on Thursday night.

Billy, of Fauldhouse, West Lothian, said: ''I was watching Red Riding on Channel 4, and when there was an ad break just before 11 o'clock I remembered I hadn't checked my gun.

''It only takes a few seconds but as I got up I must have slipped and knocked the battery pack into place and the gun fired with my hand under it.

''At first I didn't feel anything but when I tried to move my hand it was really sore.''

Billy shouted for help but his wife Yvonne, 36, was sound asleep.

Luckily, daughter Naomi heard his cries. She came downstairs, saw Billy pinned to the floor and ran to wake her mum, who called 999.

''The paramedics were pretty quick,'' Billy added. ''They gave me gas and air to ease the pain but I could feel my hand swelling and the skin was getting tighter and tighter as if a hook was being dragged into it.

''They said the best thing would be to cut out a bit of the floor and take me to hospital. They said it was a job for the fire service.''

A fire crew arrived to cut Billy free and the medics took him to Wishaw General.

The doctor removed the nail from the web of his right hand, bandaged him up and gave him a tetanus jab.

''It took three good hard blows to get the nail out and it was damn sore,'' Billy said.

''Afterwards, they gave me the nail back in a bottle.

'I've learned a painful lesson. I'll be off work for two weeks at least.

''And I didn't even get to see the end of my TV program.  I was nailed to the floor for the last 10 minutes.''

Inmate caught breaking back into jail with stolen smokes

SAN MARCOS — The bookkeeper for a North County manufacturing business was arrested on accusations of embezzling nearly $10 million from her employer to fund her lavish shoe collection, remodel her home, vacation in Italy and gamble, authorities said.

Sheriff's investigators say Annette Yeomans, 51, siphoned an average of $100,000 a month from Quality Woodworks, Inc., while she was chief financial officer from 2001 to 2007.

As a result, the San Marcos cabinetry business was forced to lay off employees and restructure their operations, said Sgt. Mark Varnau of the sheriff's Financial Crimes Unit.

Yeomans surrendered to authorities Friday morning and was booked into Vista jail on $10 million bail on suspicion of grand theft and embezzlement. It was unclear Saturday whether Yeomans had hired an attorney.

A nearly yearlong sheriff's investigation revealed that Yeomans would spend $25,000 on her credit card each week and then pay off the balance the following Monday with company funds.

Her purchases include spending nearly $25,000 to remodel her closet to house about 400 pairs of shoes valued at $240,000, as well as 160 designer purses valued at $2,000 each.

The posh dressing room included a crystal chandelier, granite-topped center island and 32-inch plasma television, Varnau said.

Investigators also found that Yeomans gambled heavily at local casinos and lost extensive amounts of money.

Varnau said Yeomans, who is scheduled to be arraigned Monday in Vista Superior Court, was able to hide her alleged crime from the company due to her position of trust.

But that ended when American Express noticed the pattern of payments made with company checks and made a phone call to the business.

Yeomans was fired last year and agreed to turn over her assets to the company, which has recovered about $2 million from the sale of her home, some cars and other property, Varnau said. Her husband was a cabinet installer at Quality Woodworks but was not suspected of any crime, Varnau said.

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