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MADDOG10's Blog

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An oldie but a GOODIE. ** Tolerance **.!

I am truly perplexed that so many of my friends are against another mosque being built. I think it should be the goal of everyone living in a town to be tolerant regardless of their religious beliefs. Thus the mosque should be allowed, in an effort to promote tolerance."
"That is why I also propose that two nightclubs be opened next door to the mosque; thereby promoting tolerance from within the mosque. We could call one of the clubs, which would be gay, "The Turban Cowboy," ...and the other, a topless bar, would be called "You Mecca Me Hot."
"Next door should be a butcher shop that specializes in pork, and adjacent to that an open-pit barbecue pork restaurant, called " Iraq of Ribs."
“Across the street there could be a lingerie store called "Victoria Keeps Nothing Secret," with sexy mannequins in the window modeling the goods", and on the other side a liquor store called "Morehammered."
"All of this would encourage Muslims to demonstrate the tolerance they demand of us.”
Yes we should promote tolerance, and you can do your part by passing this on. And if you are not laughing or smiling at this point... It is either past your bedtime, or it's midnight at the oasis and time to put your camel to bed

Entry #1,832

The Coyote Principal. LMAO.

The Difference Between Texas And California – THIS IS PERFECT.

The Difference Between Texas And California – THIS IS PERFECT.

April 26, 2017 08:04pm

This was sent to us by a clever and competent reader and I love it and had to share.

The Coyote Principle

CALIFORNIA

  • The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail.
  •  A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor’s dog, then bites the Governor.
  • The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie “Bambi”
    and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing
    what is natural.
  • He calls animal control. Animal Control captures the coyote and
    bills the state $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.
  • He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills
    the State $200 testing it for diseases.
  • The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting
    checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite
    wound bandaged.
  • The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game
    conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free
    of dangerous animals.
  • The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a
    “coyote awareness program” for residents of the area.
  • The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to
    better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the
    disease throughout the world.
  • The Governor’s security agent is fired for not stopping the attack.
  • The state spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with
    additional special training for the nature of coyotes.
  • PETA protests the coyote’s relocation and files a $5 million
    suit against the state.

TEXAS

  • The Governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a nature trail.
  • A coyote jumps out and attacks his dog.
  • The Governor shoots the coyote with his state-issued pistol and
    keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.
  • The buzzards eat the dead coyote.

BOOM.

Entry #1,828

Keeping the sound of BELLS within sight.!

Dutch the Rooster...

Butch the Rooster

Sarah was in the fertilized egg business. She had several hundred young pullets and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.

...

She kept records and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.

This took a lot of time, so she bought some tiny bells and attached them to her roosters. Each bell had a different tone, so she could tell from a distance which rooster was performing. Now, she could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.

Sarah's favorite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen but, this morning she noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all! When she went to investigate, she saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.

To Sarah's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job, and walk on to the next one.

Sarah was so proud of old Butch, she entered him in a Show and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.

The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the "No Bell Peace Prize" they also awarded him the "Pulletsurprise" as well.

Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention?

The moral of the story?

Vote carefully in the next election.

You can't always hear the bells.

Entry #1,826
Page 25 of 147
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