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Family Harmony

Published:

Last Edited: August 19, 2006, 12:16 am

I think I'm a good parent because I raised two boys on my own from the ages of 2 and 5 and they're still living with me at 19 and 22 and we're all happy as hell with each other.

One of the most important lessons I learned is that you treat your children equally according to the exact same rules. The rules are important and the fair application of those rules is even more important.

When you favor one child over the other by bending the rules in their favor and not the other's, you are begging for disharmony and they will leave you and each other.

Entry #47

Comments

1.
konaneComment by konane - August 19, 2006, 12:36 pm
Their still being with you speaks volumes, and I'll bet they have embraced your great values rather than those of their peers. Good going, Rick, with parents like you it lets me know there's a generation we can turn it over to and not worry!!
2.
Comment by shalini - August 19, 2006, 2:07 pm
amen to that! not many people realise how important it is not to favour one and not the other..my parents were and are still extremely fair...the result is that my siblings and I get along famously........my inlaws on the other hand successfully created a dysfunctional family because of constantly favouring one son over the other...it is only now when one son is 47 and the other42 have they realised the folly of their actions...they do try and make up now but its too late...the damage is done and irrevesible.
3.
emilygComment by emilyg - August 19, 2006, 2:37 pm
rick - you're a good parent and a good human being.
4.
Rick GComment by Rick G - August 19, 2006, 2:58 pm
Thanks....actually the reason we get along so well is that we grew as a family under adversity and always worked as a team because of it. I'll be bummed out when they leave the nest.
5.
justxploringComment by justxploring - August 19, 2006, 5:25 pm
"I'll be bummed out when they leave the nest."

The subject of your blog today is so true, Rick. My parents never taught us to love & respect each other and, as a result, there is little harmony in my family. It is so important to teach your children that they all are gifts and deserve to be cherished. So I am the last one to give advice when it comes to such matters. In fact, I wish I could move in with the 3 of you! (blush) However, your above comment prompted some memories of men who had trouble adjusting. When I was in my teens and early 20s I met a few guys who were much too young for their years, because they never had to venture out on their own. In other words they had it "so good" at home that anyone who came along was more of an interference than a new experience. Love and support is unmeasurable and you & your sons are very lucky, Rick. But even mother birds toss out their babies so they can fly, and the ones who stay too long and don't exercise their wings often fall the hardest.

6.
FrankieHComment by FrankieH - August 23, 2006, 11:58 am
You're subject on family disharmony is ironic! I'm going through a situation with my own family right now. My mother shows favoritism to a couple of her children and those of us who are not in her favor are not going to take it anymore. We've brought it to her attention, but her ego doesn't allow constructive critism. She retaliates shutting us out. Unfortunately, her actions will backfire on her one day as everything and everyone she tries to control will turn on her in the end. Sad. She is my mother, but there comes a time in life when a person has to evaluate their own actions and how they affect their immediate environment. I've learned about karma a while ago and since she's my mom, i feel bad that she will eventually reap what she's sown. Thanks for letting me vent. It was cathartic. A lot of people should never become parents, but i'm glad you're one Rick. You're children will grow up to be well balanced and well adjusted with you as a parent. Cheers friend.
7.
Rick GComment by Rick G - August 23, 2006, 1:59 pm
Frankie,

I'm sorry to hear about the family problems you are going through. My mother did the same thing. My memories of her are clouded by the bad times, not the good. Sad state of affairs.

Anyhow, hang in there. You always have yourself to count on. That's a sure bet and beats the lottery any day.

Not sure when I'll see ya'll later. So if you don't hear from me, take care and keep the torch burning for truth, justice and the right to defend yourself and those around you whom you deem defendable.

Later,

Rick G.

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