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What turns men on


Got the ladies reading with that headline...Embarassed

It's not necessarily looks or sex.  Contrary to popular belief, it is intelligence and a good sense of humor that are the most attractive qualities.

We've read this before in Cosmo as to what women like in men.  Sure, they like a good bicep and buttocks, but invariably and unanimously they like a sense of humor in their man and a man who can hold up their side of a conversation with them.

Men are attracted to the same attributes in women.  Men and women differ in many ways but actually have more in common than we realize when it comes to attraction that leads to companionship which leads to mating.

The four basics seem to be humor, intelligence, physical appeal, sexual compatibility....pretty much, but not exclusively in that order. 

But the stronger appeal seems to come from the neck up and the secondary appeal comes from the neck down.  Although these focuses of appeal can be jumbled at any given time (e.g., physical appeal is usually the first magnet but gives way to humor and intelligence quickly and sexual compatibility is the last frontier to explore), it seems that lasting and successful relationships have a strong compatibility from the neck up as a primary attraction and from the neck down as a secondary attraction (a bonus to the relationship).

We can't have a complete relationship without all aspects of compatibility, but the higher we are compatible relative to the physical human body, the higher the chance of success at a relationship.

Dr. Phil G.  Big Grin 


Entry #57


justxploringComment by justxploring - September 17, 2006, 8:29 pm
"It's not necessarily looks or sex."

Before I comment, I want to ask a question. Did you write this?

Rick GComment by Rick G - September 17, 2006, 9:58 pm
Yes I did write this. I don't understand the question. Is there something wrong in that quote that I'm missing?
Comment by Rip Snorter - September 17, 2006, 11:02 pm
Nice piece, Rick.

I'd go a step further and say a lot of men find a woman who's honest, straightforward, not prone to dwell on sins of omission, nor read too much between the lines tends to carry a lot of weight over the long haul. I'd rank those qualities over intelligence, and most other qualities if it's a person I intend to be around a while.

I also think most men prefer a woman who isn't too hasty about saying, "I (think I) love you," or doing too much fishing to hear a man say it, whether it's true or not.

"I think I love you" has caused me to middle-of-the-night "going out for smokes, I'll be right back" retreats from motel rooms and a lot of potentially, eventually possible maybe ain't no more relationships.

Nice entry.
truecriticComment by truecritic - September 17, 2006, 11:29 pm
Many women seem to like a nice set of American Express, Master Card and Visa on a man!
TenajComment by Tenaj - September 17, 2006, 11:44 pm
Truecritic - LOL
Rick GComment by Rick G - September 17, 2006, 11:50 pm
Jack, a major omission in my entry. Honesty. That is so important in the whole scheme. Above the neck.

Honesty should have been number one.

justxploringComment by justxploring - September 17, 2006, 11:55 pm
Nah. I have my own credit cards. At least I can keep charging without hitting my limit. Most men areway past their expiration date, but their interest keeps increasing.
Comment by shalini - September 17, 2006, 11:56 pm
well written Rick and definitely humour and intelligence are essential ingredients of a good relationship
TheTruthComment by TheTruth - September 18, 2006, 12:05 am
I agree. Personally, and maybe its because of my age, I look at physical attraction first and foremost. Personality, is also very very attractive and sexy to me...thats even more attractive then the physical. But when I first see a girl, If im physically attracted, thats what makes me want to start a convo.
justxploringComment by justxploring - September 18, 2006, 1:10 am
The Truth, that's very normal for someone 18 (Happy Birthday) but I'm 55 and I also care about physical attraction too. Nobody ever believes me, but I'm really not looking for a man. However, if I were, the first thing I notice is whether a person smokes. I wouldn't kiss George Clooney goodnight if he tasted like smoke. Spitting in public might be a close second or if he's scratching his privates, I might look away. Teeth are more important to me than pecs. The guy has got to have some teeth! They don't have to be straight or shiny white, just there. A quick wit is a must. Nothing's worse than saying something funny and getting that blank stare. I'm also becoming a bit of a tech snob. I meet so many people who have no clue what the Internet is or how to send an email. So I guess if I get back into the dating scene a new pickup line might be "been on any good Blogs lately?" I never did like "What's your sign."
TheTruthComment by TheTruth - September 18, 2006, 4:30 am
wow justxploring! i like your comment! I am happy to say to you, that I meet all of your requirements :). You and i believe it or not have similar likes and dislikes...I'm absolutely not attracted to smokers, not very appropiate for girls to spit in public ;), and people tell flat jokes - not everything is gonna hit, even I tell (not often) dud jokes, but then I quickly rebound with a great one.
Oh, and I really like the "whats your sign" question, shows (in my opinion) that you are pretty intrested in a person...great conversation starter
Comment by Rip Snorter - September 18, 2006, 9:47 am
The Truth (and justx):

We're lucky there's a place for all manner of tastes in the opposite sex. I've always preferred women smokers who spit in public, have rotten teeth (but only a few of them), and can only talk about what they see on television, but are honest.

On the other hand, I love dishonest cats who don't spit or smoke and have lovely physical traits. That's the reason I go outdoors always for my smoking. Respect for the cats. I'd never do that for a woman.

justxploringComment by justxploring - September 18, 2006, 1:09 pm
Why are you putting women into such a narrow group, Jack? I mean, why can't someone who looks good and has a brain also be honest? I am very far from being a snob, but there's nothing wrong with a little self-respect. Being clean and using good table manners and proper language doesn't have to be a social class issue. My first home was a 3 room apartment in a project where the 5 of us lived. (I shared a bedroom with my parents.) We always bathed, brushed our teeth and my father didn't come to the table in his underwear. I was also taught never to steal no matter how bad things got. My mother stood in bread lines in the cold and filled the holes in her shoes with the cardboard from the eggcrates. Yet none of the women I ever knew turned to prostitution, drugs, alchohol or crime. I don't remember when it became cool not be a lady.

Regarding the smoke - wish I could stand it. I've given up jobs because of smokers. The day they past the law about smoking in public places was a real help to me. The guy who screams his rights are being violated by the non-smoking laws doesn't have to go home and hack all night because someone else decided enjoying his dinner was more important.
justxploringComment by justxploring - September 18, 2006, 1:12 pm
Please forgive me. I left out a few words. Don't want to sound melodramatic. When I said my mother stood in bread lines, I was talking about during the Depression, not when I was a child. My father worked and he was a WWII veteran.
Comment by Rip Snorter - September 21, 2006, 12:29 am

I'm not sure what you're asking me, nor why you're asking it. I hope I didn't suggest ugly women are more honest than the barbie dolls. I don't believe one out of a thousand of them are honest, good bad or ugly. But that mostly applies to men, as well.

I think the misunderstanding might have arisen as a result of my attempt at humor... the statement that I liked women who spit and have bad teeth. I confess I don't like them any better than the Goldiloxes, if it makes you feel better.

You'll never have to put up with my smoke, so you needn't explain your views about it to me. My cats don't have to put up with it, but it's because I respect them. I'll do the same with a human being if I ever find one I respect.


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