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Classified Ads

Published:

Last Edited: September 22, 2006, 12:07 am

Someone sent me this list of classified ads.  I have no idea if they are real, but they're cute! 

 

*  FREE Yorkshire Terrier:  8 yrs. old.  Hateful little bitch.  Bites.

* FREE PUPPIES:  1/2 er Spaniel - 1/2 Sneaky Neighbor's Dog.

* FREE PUPPIES:  Part German Shepherd - Part Stupid Dog.
* FREE GERMAN SHEPHERD:  85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German.
* FOUND:  Dirty White Dog.  Looks like a Rat....been out awhile.  Better be a Reward for this NASTY little thing.
* COWS, CALVES:  Never Bred....Also, 1 Gay Bull For Sale .
* NORDIC TRACK:  $300 - Hardly used, call Chubby.
* GEORGIA PEACHES:   California grown - 89 cents lb.
* JOINING NUDIST COLONY!:  Must sell Washer & Dryer $300.
* WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE :  Worn ONCE by mistake.  Call Stephanie - $300.
* FOR SALE /BY OWNER:  Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica.  45 volumes.  Excellent condition.  $1000 or Best Offer.  No longer needed, got married last month.  Wife knows everything.

 

 

 

Entry #5

Comments

1.
justxploringComment by justxploring - September 22, 2006, 12:11 am
I hope the expression "waiting for The Sandman" hasn't changed since I was a child. To me it means I want to get sleepy so I can go to bed. There was a song "Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream. (bum, bum, bum, bum) Make him the cutest that I've ever seen. (bum, bum bum bum) ...."
2.
emilygComment by emilyg - September 22, 2006, 12:52 am
too funny!!!
3.
Comment by Rip Snorter - September 22, 2006, 8:09 am
".... give him the word that I'm not old Rover..."   never could figure out what that was all about. Maybe she was a biter.

Jack
4.
angelmComment by angelm - September 22, 2006, 12:13 pm
too cute!
5.
truecriticComment by truecritic - September 22, 2006, 10:38 pm
Old Rover? "not a rover" lol
Mr. Sandman by The Chordettes

scat "bung, bung, bung, bung" 26 bungs in all)

Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream (bung, bung, bung, bung)
Make him the cutest that I've ever seen (bung, bung, bung, bung)
Give him two lips like roses and clover (bung, bung, bung, bung)
Then tell him that his lonesome nights are over.
Sandman, I'm so alone
Don't have nobody to call my own
Please turn on your magic beam
Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream.

(scat "bung, bung, bung, bung".)

Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream
Make him the cutest that I've ever seen
Give him the word that I'm not a rover
Then tell him that his lonesome nights are over.
Sandman, I'm so alone
Don't have nobody to call my own
Please turn on your magic beam
Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream.

(scat "bung, bung, bung, bung")

Mr. Sandman (male voice: "Yesss?") bring us a dream
Give him a pair of eyes with a "come-hither" gleam
Give him a lonely heart like Pagliacci
And lots of wavy hair like Liberace
Mr Sandman, someone to hold (someone to hold)
Would be so peachy before we're too old
So please turn on your magic beam
Mr Sandman, bring us, please, please, please
Mr Sandman, bring us a dream.

(scat "bung, bung, bung, bung
6.
Rick GComment by Rick G - September 23, 2006, 1:06 am
Mr. Sandman...what a classic...thanks for bringing that back to life. Truecritic, thanks for the lyrics. Now I have some material at the bar tonight at 2 am for the pina colada girl.
7.
justxploringComment by justxploring - September 23, 2006, 3:23 am
TrueCritic: "You say bung, I say bum" ....let's call the whole thing off. (or was that tomato/tomaaahto ??)

I knew it was "a rover" - thought Jack was being funny because of all the dog ads. We'll never know, but I'll vote for that.

To all...thanks for your comments. I can rest now knowing that "Waiting for the Sandman" doesn't have another meaning. I knew Candyman had something to do with drugs. Once I told someone I was a Working Girl and almost got myself into big trouble. I'm a lot wiser now. Anyway, it's 3AM and the next morning and I'm still awake (braindead but awake) so I guess he got stuck in traffic. I'm surprised, since there's an awful lot of sand in FL. Should just get my own. Unfortunately the beaches are polluted. I was going to write a story about that, but I don't have enough information yet. The news says it could be "natural" ... maybe like the way raw sewerage is natural? It know it can happen because I got so depressed when I didn't hit my numbers tonight that I cried and cried so hard the heavy tears ran down my back and I got a backtearia. (groan)

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