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Quick Pick Candidates

Published:

Last Edited: September 26, 2006, 8:16 pm

Jeanne (luckierlady) told me the other night on the phone that Ann Richards is dead.

I had a flash of memory of a movie I saw a long time ago, first scene of which was a funeral.  Everyone there went up for a close, squinting look at the corpse.  Someone even poked it with a needle, just to make sure the corpse was really a corpse.

I never set high store by Ann Richards, though I don’t suppose she was any worse than most of the career politicians.  But it’s comforting to know that if she’s ever going to be in the White House, it won’t be this lifetime.

Fifteen, seventeen years ago I was standing in a poll-booth looking at a ballot.  It suddenly dawned on me there was nobody on the ballot I would prefer to see in office over some name picked randomly out of the phone book.

That’s when I quit bothering to vote.  That’s also why I quit bothering to vote.

Selecting from a set of names, none of whom you can endorse without being overcome with guilt and a feeling you’ve betrayed the country you love isn’t my idea of fulfilling a civic duty.

  • I believe everything the Republicans say about Bill and Hillary Clinton. 
  • I believe everything the Democrats say about this guy now, step 2 of the 3-step Bush Dynasty. 
  • I believe everything Todd and Konane say about the rad-lib Demos in Congress and the Senate. 
  • And I feel an absolute certainty I believe whatever it is the Demos in Congress and the Senate are saying about the Republicans.

The only time those folks can be depended upon to tell the truth is when they're talking about one-another.

I don’t want any of them in office.

I think it’s time for a set of Quick Pick candidates on every ballot. 

 

Guys in black helicopters swoop down and snag a pedestrian: 

 “Mr. President, would you come with us, please.  You won’t need that wig and lipstick where you’re going.”

“Excuse me, Madam Congressman.  Would you mind leaving that brat with the woman beside you and come with us?”

“Take off that bib full of nails and put down that hammer, Senator.  You have a job to do.”

“No.  We’s not looking for a good time, Congresswoman.  And you are not under arrest.  Please put on something longer and less shiny and get into the helicopter.”

“If you’ll turn down that boombox, Mr. Vice President, you’ll hear us better…..Thanks.  We need you to turn your hat around and come with us.”

“Interesting piercings and tattoos, Governor.  If you’re hmmm carrying anything you want to get rid of you might step into that restroom over there for a moment.  We’ll wait.  We’ll all be going through some metal detectors and past a lot of sniffer dogs. ….. Come back here!  Get him!”

 

Heck of an improvement over what we have now.

Jack

 

Entry #596

Comments

1.
Rick GComment by Rick G - September 27, 2006, 9:44 am
That's a good one. I hope the idea comes up in a referendum this November.
2.
Comment by Rip Snorter - September 27, 2006, 9:57 am
Thanks Rick.
My attempts at humor frequently fall flat. Glad to see there's another twisted mind able to see it and get a laugh.
J
3.
Comment by Rip Snorter - September 27, 2006, 9:59 am
I don't think there's any danger of this happening. I just think it would be an improvement. The thought of it opened the door for the rest of the entry, which I appreciate.
Jack

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