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the long hard road ahead


i started off this year on a roll and i do mean roll.by the time this summer hit i had already won about five grand online,the flowers were blooming and my children were easy going creatures.fast forward to the first part of the summer and since then the last five months i haven't had nothing but rotten luck,lost weight,gray hairs,frayed nerves and screaming kids to show for it.what the hell happened????  then my work put us on notice that it was ending,the internet gambling bill got passed which will eventually be a pain in the ass to try to jump through hoops and deal with shady fly by night banks to play online so that will deprive me of more income.what did i do to get this kind of karma?  i sure wish the tide would turn and i could get some of my bearings back but its still looking bleak at the moment.you are powerless to change things beyond your control and this is one of those situations were greater forces are at work.the ball just hasn't been bouncing my way.......

Entry #732


TheTruthComment by TheTruth - October 20, 2006, 12:09 am
the grass is greener on the other side of the road dude. Try 2 stop and think what got you so much success in the past...you may be surprised at what you may find. It's so bizzare to me how you are so concerned of a future that has yet to arrive, doing so obviously gave you little hope and now its effecting your present...online gambling is fine, I've said all alone from day one and today is the final time I waste my time and fingers on the subject. In time I hope you strive for the better life you have lived instead of the hopeless one your currently in.
I can't help but get the feeling your constently looking for others to atleast feel sorry for you in some way for this shameful life you seem to live, but thats just one mans opinion. It's a process...

Here's to a new year! Enjoy it!

P.s. Sry if I came off harsh, but it's the way I see things from my perspective
Lucky StarComment by Lucky Star - October 20, 2006, 1:26 am
The tide already has turned for you. Things are getting better for you. Watch. Things will get even better for you as Winter approaches, thru Winter, and into Spring. Watch.
KonformthismfsComment by Konformthismfs - October 20, 2006, 11:12 am
What kinda crap is that? (thetruth) How do you know what kinda life he lives and what gives you the power to judge if it's "Hopeless or Shameful"???
LottoMike- Life is all about a series of problems and how you deal with'em. Winning at the lottery doesn't make the usual "daily life" problems go away. It's all on you to turn this around and you've got others depending on it! Dig Deep and you'll find the way.
emilygComment by emilyg - October 20, 2006, 1:13 pm
mike - you're stronger than you think - those kids need you - feel blessed that you have them. xxxooo em
LOTTOMIKEComment by LOTTOMIKE - October 20, 2006, 6:25 pm
thanks emily,lucky star and konformthis....
justxploringComment by justxploring - October 20, 2006, 7:00 pm
I can't imagine what my life would be like if right now I had small children. There is so much added responsibility when a person is dealing with illness or financial woes. I've had a rough time too lately and start to sink into my own dark hole.

On the other hand, having a family is a blessing. You've created something unique and beautiful that nobody can deny or take from you. Try not to introduce them to that dark place I mentioned. My mother was depressed, so I speak from experience. Children are very resilient, but being so little in a big world is enough stress. You are a strong person who is experiencing a bumpy ride, but smooth sailing is ahead and the tides will turn. So look into their eyes and tell them how much they are loved, see the wonder and know that your gift to them was life and their gift to you is hope.

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