A drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends late one night.

He led the way to his bedroom where there was a  big brass gong and a mallet. 

'What's with that big brass gong?' one of the  guests asked.

'It's not a gong. It's a talking clock,' the drunk replied.

'A talking clock? Seriously?' asked his  astonished friend.   

'Yup,' replied the drunk.

'How's it work?' the friend asked, squinting at it.

'Watch,' the drunk replied. He picked up the mallet, gave the gong an ear-shattering pound, and stepped back.     

The three stood looking at one another for a  moment.......

Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed,  'You ass-hole! It's three-fifteen in the morning!