Ever felt like a person from 'Down Under' gets a better deal? As in the opposite side of the world?? I often wonder why birds from the same geographical area---don't crap up on their side of the world to defficate down on us and visa versa, hmmm, yeah, I know the laws of physics and the pull of gravity,etc., but...! Some of those kiddie books and tapes are strange in title, too! "Green Eggs And Ham," now there's a winning title for you---Sure, the guts and gist of the story is pretty good for the little ones but the title makes one wonder if'n someone wast a barfin or afixin to when naming this section of "The Cat In The Hat series." On the other meathook (that's a hillbilly hand--for the uneducated) I can just see us'ns apiggin out on moldy, slimy, smelly, aputrid leftover breakfast like thet. Now you city folks might have your gorge abiling up but us mountain boomers wouldn't bile no mess of goo that bad. (*bile --is hillbilly slang for boil---you know...when hot water spits and sings lovlies to you then snuffs your fire?...Best poet down the sink or better yet in the Johnny! Don't ever listen to anyone who says that they'll give you the plane truth about...(whatever) you do know what a plane is, don't cha? That Wright Bros. thingy that goes in the sky and drops "blue ice" in your victory garden and the American Government calls the dumped package a weather balloon from when whence the object that it was emmitted from, I guess, is a ufo but it's still a plane and a plane goes just about anywhere and everywhere...so, the plane truth is quite elastic and very stretchable. Now then, the plain truth, is a whole other ballgame...when a feller goes thet route you'd best put on your slikker and rubbers... (yep, raincoat and boots) causin it's probably gonna get mighty deep and messy; might even want to dig out your 'Mae West' or at least grab a chandlier...HO Hummmm!

To be continued at this theater, next week...!

Teufellj...