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The Shortest Fairy Tale

Published:

Last Edited: December 6, 2006, 11:44 pm

I have no idea who wrote this (sent to me by a friend) but I cleaned it up a little for our "family" web site 
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?"and..

 The girl said, "NO!" And the girl lived happily ever after and went
 shopping, dancing, camping, drank martinis, always had a clean house,
 never had to cook, did whatever the hell she wanted, never argued,
 didn't get fat, traveled more, had many boyfriends, didn't save money,
 and had all the hot water to herself. She went to the theatre, never
 watched rugby, never wore freakin' lacy lingerie that went up her butt,
 had high self esteem, never cried or yelled, felt and looked fabulous
 in sweat pants, and burped, swore, and farted all the time.

"THE END"
  Big Grin Angel
(anyone remember Fractured Fairy Tales on Rocky & Bullwinkel?)
Entry #27

Comments

1.
charh20Comment by charh20 - December 6, 2006, 11:44 pm
lolololol
2.
TenajComment by Tenaj - December 6, 2006, 11:59 pm
"And now we'll show you something you're really like"
3.
Rick GComment by Rick G - December 7, 2006, 12:56 am
I'm glad this was a fractured fairy tale....I was scared for a minute.

Reminds me of my local supermarket. There should be a law against wearing dirty saggy sweatpants out of the house. I'll put up with the burping, swearing and fart-cutting, but the nasty, stained bed-clothes paraded in public is absolutely intolerable and not only a turn-off but makes you wonder what produce they handled before you got there.
4.
justxploringComment by justxploring - December 7, 2006, 1:47 am
Coincidentally, Rick, I was talking about this very subject with a friend tonight. We both live in Florida but agree that so many people look like slobs when they go to the store. I realize it's very hot and people are also on vacation. However, what's so hard about putting on a tee shirt? Woman (and men) of all sizes think nothing of going into a store in a bathing suit. For some reason, even the supermarket doesn't seem to enforce the "No shoes, no shirt, no service" rules. Then there are the young women with the body jewelry. Okay - be different and do what you want to your own body, but I don't care to see someone's belly button with an earring sticking out of it when I go out for a bottle of milk. Men are in Paradise here, including the Dirty Old ones. I'll never forget the first time I needed to get money on Fort Myers Beach (that's the name of a city) I was at the bank and suddenly realized that I was staring at 2 cheeks..and I don't mean the ones on your face. A pretty young girl in a thong was getting money out of the ATM. I said to myself" Dorothy, you're not in Kansas any more!"

BTW, I would never pass wind in the company of another person. Even when I was married I closed the door! :-)   Seriously, today a man I work with belched and I said "I guess you must consider me to be one of the boys." Personally, unless it's an accident due to indigestion or acid reflux (sometimes it just happens to people) I think making animal grunts out of any orifice is disgusting.

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