Sad times we live in. I'm sure someone has said that all through history no matter what generation it was. But now? Sad. Sad. No trust anymore in this world.

I felt this the other day as I was dropping my aunt off at her house a few blocks from me.

There was an elderly lady standing on the corner as we made our way to Auntie Em's house. The lady was going up to cars and it looked like she was asking for a ride. It's not a very busy street but after the car ahead of me stopped I noticed a couple of large shopping bags on the corner. Perhaps the bags got too heavy for her to carry as the grocery is just up the block.

The car ahead of me drove on. I was up next and the lady put up her finger but...what did I do? DROVE ON. Don't think that I didn't feel guilty about this. I felt AWFUL. She could have been my grandmother! She was dressed casually, didn't look like a homeless person or anything. Just normal.

But.....could I TRUST her? I mean, she was right in front of our church there on the corner!! But that doesn't mean anything. She could have been working with some other scam artists, who knows? Gets in the car and pulls a gun out of those shopping bags. Highly unlikely in my neighborhood but STILL......you just never know. Today's world has made it almost impossible to be "nice".

I'm still thinking about that. It's still bothering me. I think of my grandmother who never drove in her life, how she used to take the bus everywhere. She'd have to walk up to the end of her street which was about 1/2 mile long to get to the bus line. As her eyes failed her, she used to carry a blind cane even though she could still see but was legally blind. One day she said these young boys drove by and yelled out "GRAB HER PURSE!!" and went by yucking it up. But it's really not funny. It's just.....sad.

So when I saw that poor lady standing there asking for help, my body tensed with mistrust. That's a terrible way to be! My arms, my heart, should have been open, shouldn't they? But instead we clammed up. My aunt too. It's just horrible and I'm angry about it. Angry at the world and all it's evil people who have made me feel that way over the years. I had to stop watching the news because it was starting to make me feel like not even going outside anymore. Made me feel like triple locking the doors and barring the windows.

But we have to watch out for ourselves and our loved ones safety. I suppose that must come first. And if we do wind up helping someone who "looks" innocent, we could be foolishly putting ourselves in harms way. Just think how quick your life could change just trying to "help" someone out and falling victim to something threatening.

You just never know.

So I guess I'll just have to keep saying "NO". Can I even trust my gut anymore? Can you even trust your feelings? 

I'm not sure anymore. And that's really....sad.