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Any Ideas?

Published:

Last Edited: January 8, 2007, 8:58 pm

There have been so many deaths in my family lately. My aunt passed away yesterday.  I am far away in Florida and want to send something to express my sympathy.  I wish I could fly to Boston, but I honestly can't make the trip. I don't have a lot of money, so I am searching online for something nice but not too expensive.  I gave a donation to a charity in one person's name last week, but I'd like to send a gift to my uncle.  I found a dozen sites, but baskets are very expensive and they add $10 for shipping.  Once I paid $50 for some chocolates and they were all melted. I welcome any suggestions.  One site called healingbaskets.com has a set of porcelain stars that looks nice and I was going to add a gift box.  I don't know if this is appropriate for a 70-something man since it looks feminine. I also like their angel mug.  I thought planting a tree in memory of someone is also a nice idea, but I'm not sure which sites are reliable.  Thanks. 

 Blue Angel

Entry #32

Comments

1.
JAP69Comment by JAP69 - January 8, 2007, 9:11 pm
Hi,
I would think a hand written letter to your uncle regarding the death of your aunt would be welcomed by your uncle.
2.
JAP69Comment by JAP69 - January 8, 2007, 9:15 pm
Hi,
My condolences to you and your family on your aunts passing.
3.
charh20Comment by charh20 - January 8, 2007, 9:32 pm
www.1-800-bakery.com    Just a suggestion........So sorry about your aunt.
4.
charh20Comment by charh20 - January 8, 2007, 9:47 pm
http://www.1-800-bakery.com/newsdesk/Sympathy_Gifts.html?utm_source=go&utm_medium=ppc&utm_term=bereavement&gclid=CJyi0-Kn0okCFSMkWAod0RdB9A

Here is the whole link,,,,,,
5.
emilygComment by emilyg - January 9, 2007, 12:28 am
a 70 year old man doesn't need anything he has to water or keep alive.   Sorry for your loss.
Chip in with your family and get him a cleaning service to help settle apt./house down.
6.
truecriticComment by truecritic - January 9, 2007, 12:46 am
Sorry to hear about losing loved ones.

Did you call your uncle? Possibly he would just mention something in conversation that you would be able to do?
7.
justxploringComment by justxploring - January 9, 2007, 2:18 am
Thanks everyone for your suggestions and your kind words. All good ideas. I was going to write a letter. I wrote one to my aunt when she became ill, but I never got a response. By the way, the tree I was talking about would be in the rainforest. Also since I was a kid it's been a tradition to plant a tree in Israel. However, I figure with everything that's going on there now it won't last too long. I talked to my uncle before she died. I don't think he'll be alone at all since he has a son & daughter-in-law who lives in Mass. I called my sister in MA who will be going to the funeral on Tuesday morning. I'm sure she'll visit him at home as well. I always find these things very uncomfortable to deal with when I'm not there. In person I would take over a deli platter or maybe a cheesecake and visit in the early evening during the mourning period (called sitting shiva.) I have 2 sisters. Knowing once of us will be there makes me feel much better. I'm guessing they have lots of friends too.

Thanks again for your comments.
8.
justxploringComment by justxploring - January 9, 2007, 2:39 am
The bakery site (link below) has a lot of nice selections for all occasions. Yummy. I need to put this in my favorites folder.
9.
SirMetroComment by SirMetro - January 9, 2007, 3:14 pm
I hope this doesn't sound too cheap, but why not a hand written letter?

These days with the use of computers, email and all our other electronic means of communication, sometimes we forget that it's what we grew up with that means the most when it is all said and done. We are so busy trying to "get the next job done" we forget to take the time to think of our family. Heaven knows I am guilty of it. So instead of flowers or cookies or plants, why not a hand written letter from the heart to express your self to those you love. Sometimes, it's the effort of the process that means far more then any monetary value that could be given.
At least that is my thoughts.
10.
justxploringComment by justxploring - January 9, 2007, 5:38 pm
I agree Sir Metro. I wrote a letter to my Aunt a couple of months ago and I also sent a card and a letter to my Uncle. I just felt a little cheap not sending a gift, although I agree it shouldn't matter. Words of comfort are much more important. That's why I'm happy I have a sister who can attend the services and visit the family. My father would have gone, but he's too old and sick. If my uncle didn't have a family of his own, I would have somehow gotten the plane ticket and gone up there, but he has a lot of support.

At about 3 this morning I saw a basket on eBay and made an offer. I've never seen that feature before on eBay. It isn't "PAY NOW" or a bid, but "BEST OFFER" and the basket was already shipped! I hope it's nice, but it was very reasonable. I made sure the feedback was 100%. I've rarely had a problem buying on eBay. The bakery was nice, but the shipping cost was outrageous. He'll be down here someone soon I'm sure, since they own a condo in Florida. If he keeps in touch, I will be sure to drive across the state to have dinner with him. Last time I drove there was hard on my back. My father lives in the same development and it's a 5 hour roundtrip drive, but maybe I can stay overnight. We really weren't very close, but I grew up with these relatives, so it's a very strange feeling of loss and sadness when someone passes. I hope there is a Heaven. My mother and my aunt talked on the phone for hours. Maybe now they can get together again for another chat.
11.
cps10Comment by cps10 - January 10, 2007, 12:27 am
Sorry for your loss. 2006 was the terrible year for death in my family. Anything you do for your uncle will be appreciated as he will know you are thinking of him.
12.
justxploringComment by justxploring - January 10, 2007, 2:26 am
Sorry you've had a rough time cps10. I agree that sentiment is more important than trying to find the fanciest gift. My family is getting so small. That's why I wish I were a bit closer to one of my sisters who is less than 3 yrs older than I, but we are so different that I've given up. I don't even like her, which is very sad to say. My oldest sister and I began to email each other a couple of years ago, and the internet has really helped us keep in touch. I have a feeling Christmas was the last time I'll see my father, although in 2004 (when he was 90) I was told he had hours to live and then he got well and went on a cruise later that year, but his health is failing. He has trouble breathing. If he hadn't smoked for 40 years and developed emphysema and other related problems, he would probably live past 100 (maybe he will anyway)

I would never in a million years say this to my uncle, but the aunt I've been posting about died from lung cancer and never smoked a day in her life. He, on the other hand, smoked most of his life and enjoyed his cigars. Maybe it's unrelated since my grandfather (her father) died from throat cancer and he never smoked either. However, second hand smoke can be deadly. My uncle had open heart surgery and doesn't smoke any more, but maybe she was affected by the 40 years she inhaled his fumes. I'm so anti-smoking that it's difficult for me to be unbiased. Guess I should stay off that subject, but so many people don't realize how it affects their children. By 12 I had bronchitis and my sister had asthma.

Thanks for your post.

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