> CHILDREN AND/OR GRANDCHILDREN]
> My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He
> asked me how old I was, and I told him, "62." He was quiet for a
> moment, and then he asked....."Did you start at 1?"
> After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old
> slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she
> heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience
> At last she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room,
> putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room,
> she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was
> A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own
> childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing
> made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our
> pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was
> wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten
> to know you sooner!"
> My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know
> how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halos while I
> asked, "No, how are we alike?" "You're both old," he replied.
> A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word
> processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he
> asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."
> A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were
> ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell
> her what it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou
> shall not take the covers off thy neighbor's wife."
> Our five-year-old grandson couldn't wait to tell his grandfather about
> the movie we had watched on television, "20,000 Leagues Under the
> The scenes with the submarine and the giant octopus had kept him
> wide-eyed. In the middle of the telling, my husband interrupted Mark,
> "What caused the submarine to sink?" With a look of incredulity Mark
> replied, "Grandpa, it was the 20,000 leaks!!"
> When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the
> lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects.
> Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did,
> Billy whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa. The mosquitoes are coming
> after us with flashlights."
> Children's Logic:
> "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. The small
> boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher
> took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant
> means?" she asked. Sure," said the young boy confidently. "It means
> carrying a child."
> A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids
> home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat
> of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing
> the dog's duties. They use him to keep crowds back," said one
> "No", said another, "he's just for good luck." A third child brought
> the argument to a close. "They use the dogs", she said firmly, "to
> find the fire hydrant."