These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:

Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist.  Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: "Break Forth Into Joy."

Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more tranfusions.  She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir.  They need all the help they can get.

This evening at 7PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church.  Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM.  All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.  Please use large double door at the side entrance.

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7PM.  The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours"