Amen!!!

I disagree. I think every relationship requires some work, including compromise. I suppose if you substitute loving for submissive, it's true. However, if 2 people have strong, individual personalities, they can have a deep, loving relationship, but it's never 100% smooth sailing. I've known people who are "ecstatic, madly in love" until they have a crises. Knowing how to deal with pain and together is just as important as knowing how to deal with love.

Nancy - you missed the point -

And what point is that? Are you saying that if you love each other then it's not hard? That you don't consider it to be work? The reason there is such a high divorce rate is that people think love should be a piece of cake. If the cake gets stale, just toss it in the garbage. I believe that each person, whether we're talking about a marriage, a parent/child relationship or 2 good friends, needs to consciously work at building a foundation that lasts, and make regular repairs.

If I may comment....in the book The Celestine Prophecy, there's a passage about relationships and why the ones that deteriorate do. Pretty interesting stuff really. The author (I forget his name, Redfield maybe?) said that in any relationship, marriages, lovers, family, business, etc...there is always an energy giver and an energy demander.
In relationships that fail, they've reached a point where the demander has drained the giver and the giver simply doesn't have anything left to give. The demander, being a demander, despite that, just keeps on demanding.
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My comment here - there are people who are indeed time, energy, emotion,and resource 'vampires'. Beware the vampires.

I agree. In a loving relationship, you just do it.

in a loving relationship - you don't label it "work"   csfb - so right - you just do it.
coin toss - i agree. tyranny by the weak.

Loving relationships work because there is no work.

Parallel to that, kind of...... my judo instructor used to stress this:
The more effort you have to put into it, the less judo you are using.
The more judo you put into it, the less effort you'll have to use.

coin Toss - same thing in Yoga. Think it holds true for life.

I guess we're talking about 2 different things. That's because you are looking at the word "work" in a negative light. If what you are saying is true for most people, then what about the thousands of couples who seek counseling during a crisis? They go to priests, ministers, rabbis and psychologists. In fact, many churches and temples advise relationship counseling before a marriage. I didn't say it has to be grudge work. I just said that it's not magic, like "poof...you're in love so now everything is perfect." In fact, one of the reasons people break up or parents become abusive is that everything starts out great and they want "Easy." Especially in this day and age, it's a lot of work to be a good parent. It doesn't mean you don't love your kids a lot. If you need to work at keeping a marriage together, it doesn't mean you aren't deeply in love. You are simply playing with words here. One example: I was friendly with a couple who was so in love that they were still making out in the back of the car saying "I love you" after 15 years and 3 children. I used to joke around and do the Joan Rivers thing with my finger in my throat pretending I was nauseous, they were so lovey-dovey. "We never fight." Well, they moved to another state to start a business. They had the perfect home, the perfect life. The business failed and there were all sorts of problems keeping the family together. She left him, took the children and moved back in with her parents. Because their love was strong, they eventually got back together. Life isn't always easy. "Working" at something to make it stronger, better and more powerful doesn't mean there isn't a strong love present. You can enjoy being with a person, have lots of fun, and be totally passionate. But if you just wait for things to "happen" you might also miss out on discovering a beautiful relationship and a lifelong bond.