Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.
Arlene: What in the hell is that?
Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Arlene: Where did you get it?
Jane: You can get them at any pharmacy.
The next day, Arlene hobbles herself into the local pharmacy and
announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.
The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age).

He then asks, What kind do you want?  Lubricated, non lubricated, ribbed, non ribbed? You want medium, large, extra large?  What color do you want?  Pink, red, blue, yellow, or standard?
Arlene says: I don't care, as long as it fits on a Camel.