Here is a beauty tip:

In 56 years of being on this fine planet I have never done so many dumb things in one year.  I wish I could take a pill and go to sleep until 2008.

Two weeks ago I poured an entire cup of bleach into my wash with my good clothes, thinking it was detergent.  Okay, so I was busy watching American Idol and dancing to the Bon Jovi songs with a margarita in my hand.  But it wasn't until I smelled that oh so pungent odor and my sinuses began to burn that I screamed "Oh S**t!!"  Well, my slacks and shirts are ruined, and my Welcome to Florida tee now says "Wel  e    lo    da" but I was able to salvage my underwear.  Of course if I'm ever hit by a bus, the nurses in the ER will have a good laugh. Why couldn't I have simply purchased white panties in the first place? 

So what's my latest home disaster?  I was brushing my hair one evening last week before running out to the store and accidentally twisted my styling brush a little too tight around my locks.  Yes, I know that's in violation of the principles of careful coiffuring, but in my many masterful years of proper blow drying, I have never pictured myself sleeping on one side of my head the rest of my life.

After painstakingly picking out the strands with a comb while I winced, a neighbor eventually removed the styling brush (along with much of my hair) leaving a small bald spot. I later read online that saturating the hair in conditioner or vegetable oil will loosen it enough to remove the brush. Being a logical and analytical person,  I would have thought of this before seeking assistance, had I not been more concerned about sending signals to the mother ship as I ran outside in a panic.

So if you ever find yourself with a brush melted to the side of your head, take a breath, stay calm, walk to the kitchen and get the Crisco.